Families

[Eh15]

On Monday my Dad told me three times that I am fat. It’s been quite a year and I felt really hurt. I’m hoping I can do something about it over the next year.

[YellowRose55]

I can understand you feeling hurt by your Dad's comments. You have made the right first step by joining the forum but please make sure your doing it for you and not because someone tells you to. Good luck with your first week.

[Eh15 7lbs in reply to YellowRose55]

Thanks. I’ve been feeling very unfit since a ruptured appendix in January and have been wanting to do something about it. I’ve been in this group a while but family illness precluded me from getting going.

[Pete57]

Well you've made a small start, your in here and there will be lots that will support you and give you advice.

I would say have a look at what your eating, whats good for you whats not, then decide on cutting a few of the things that aren't helping you, crisps, cake's biscuits and the like, don't cut them out completely there's no reason you can't treat yourself once in a while.

Try to find your healthy option or healthy eating.

Good Luck.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

I agree with YellowRose55 . It's for you to decide if you are overweight, and, if so, if you want to do something about it. If you do, there are plenty of ideas and lots of support here, but you won't make any progress if it's not your own choice, as you need commitment and consistency

[Eh15 7lbs]

@pete57 Thank you. I’m sitting here eating Pringles that I bought for friends coming round. My husband is keen to reduce fat so we’re going to do a bit of planning.

[Beechnuts]

Parent can be very cruel, Did your father give you any help to loose weight? Or just make negative remarks with no love or support.

My mother used to tell me I needed 6 months in a prisoner of war camp .

She never gave me any encouragement or help to loose weight. She wasn’s small herself and yet I never saw her loose any weight.

She thought handing out insults was the way to tackle it but it only made me more miserable and reclusive.....It’s a long story , best forgotten....

[Eh15 7lbs in reply to Beechnuts]

Sounds familiar

[katy9617 in reply to Beechnuts]

I understand, my mom was overweight yet she kept me on diets I never followed. all it did was teach me how to sneak eat. some of the diets were weird too....

[13Valerie]

Welcome Eh15

First things first... are you overweight? Your BMI is a good indicator.

Secondly Do you WANT to lose weight? Is it important to you and why is it important?

Don't allow nasty comments to throw you. Have a chat with your husband I hope he'll help you keep things in perspective.

Best wishes to you😊

[Eh15 7lbs]

Thank you I do want to lose weight and my Dad’s comments hurt so much because I’m well aware of my size. I have a lovely, supportive husband who has promised to help me.

[CAG53 in reply to Eh15]

I'm sorry you'Re Dad decided to insult you that way. A bit of advice. The blindly obvious helps, but what you need is to think of yourself. I hate green vegetables, but I eat a lot of the more unusual. Peppers, corn, and salad stuff. make sure you like what you eat, or it will not work. A diet of yuk is never going to work. Best of luck, I am going to follow you, as my struggles may be helped by you.

[Beechnuts in reply to Eh15]

That’s nice your husband is supportive.

Have you got much to loose?

I need to loose about 7 stones but even half would be a miracle.

I’ve got to make a fresh start on scales Monday’s, all though I first found HU in Nov a lot of things have happened since, ie. illness, hosp ,going to look after g children . I have to pic myself up and start again...

Good luck 2018 is onwards and downwards, yes...

[ANewMe2022 3 stone in reply to Beechnuts]

I'm weighing in on Monday too Beechnuts . I'm looking forward to taking this healthy eating trip with you...xx

[Eh15 7lbs]

Thank you. I’m going to do an online food shop later. I’ll bear you’re advice in mind.

[Leonine 7lbs]

Parents can say things sometimes which really hurt, I am sorry you had this experience. How brilliant that your husband is supportive and that you have found your way here - negative talk never helped anyone, but a supportive atmosphere should help you achieve what you want to.

[katy9617]

Dear dear Eh15, do not listen to your father. my dad used to call me "fluffy" and it killed me. as a result, also due to genetics, I have been overweight my whole life. I am now 51 and am starting a new life. Parents say hurtful things to us thinking it might help, not knowing it is the worst thing to do to a child. (I am assuming you are under 18, if I am wrong, please tell me--not that it matters in being hurt by a parent how old you are). my father is now gone and I miss him terribly. I assure you he means no harm, just is worried about you and that is the only way he knows how to communicate. Anyway, if you want and ONLY for yourself, to get healthy, this is the new life style to follow. I do not call it a diet, it is a new way of life. Bless your heart, I am so hurt by your obvious pain. I really do understand and I hope you will not let him discourage you. if you want to become healthy for YOURSELF, I do recommend this 12 step forum. Post to us and we will answer your questions to the best of our ability and support you in all things we can. Chin up darling, it will get better.

[katy9617 in reply to katy9617]

sorry I see now you are not a kid... I apologize profusely.

[APie14]

My son has called me fat a few times this year, I was shocked and upset, then hit the cheese and fried stuff to cheer myself up. I am fat so I don’t blame him but its now time to change that.

I started my mission yesterday. It’s hard but all I can think about is how much better I’ll feel when I’ve lost my belly and second chin.

Good luck to you x

[Eh15 7lbs in reply to APie14]

I’m working on the belly with Pilates. The double chin is not so easy but not insurmountable. 🥑🤸🏻‍♀️🤾🏻‍♀️

[Eh15 7lbs]

I have very low self esteem. I know I need to lose weight and feel hopeless most of the time.

[PatriciaR]

A friend told me once that if you tell someone a hurtful thing once they hear it a 1000 times. The hard bit is trying not to listen 999 times but to try to remember compliments others have made and love yourself. Good luck.

[Eh15 7lbs in reply to PatriciaR]

Thank you x