I am married 36yrs.. 3 grown up children.. 2 sons aged 36 and 35 and my daughter is 30.
I have 10 grandchildren..
I care for my youngest grandson 3 days per week he is nearly 3 yrs old.
I worked as a care assistant nurse, caring for the elderly for 25 yrs..
I cared for my mother for 9 years..
Sadly my mother died 10 month ago..
My father walked out on us when I was a 10yrs old..
My father attended my mothers funeral.. I have been in contact with him since...
Sadly my father has got Aplastic Anemia last stage he is dying he is 83 yrs old.
I have found it hard to grieve for my mother, but also stay strong for my father.
I feel like I have been grieving for my father all my life.. I now have him back in my life and it is so difficult that he is dying..
My health has not been good for the last 14 yrs..
I have osteoarthritis neck, back, right hip, left wrist.
I have fibromyalgia...
I have loads and loads of other health issues..
I would say my biggest problem at the moment is my weight..
I am vegetarian.. so you would think I would have no problem with my weight....
I do not eat a lot.. but what I eat is wrong.. I should call myself a junketarian...
I know what I should be doing, but I have lost control I am so over weight.. I struggle to get dressed.. and so difficult to do any exercise.. because am in so much pain and I get so breathless...
This is a serious cry out for help..
Written by
CoralAngel
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Hi, welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for support. I hope by talking to people on here you can share your problems and gain motivation and ideas. You can lose weight and keep it off, many people on here are or were bigger than you and have done it. I wish you luck, if you know you eat junk then you know what to do! 🤞
Dear Coral Angel! No wonder Angel is there. I wrote a long note earlier but could not send it as I was not signed in!
I asked if you would draw a big circle and write in the portions of your life for your waking hours for today and each day for a week. Make rough percentages of these portions of your time!
Now see how much time there is for you to focus and recover joy? I bet there is none.
Now think of the person you loved caring for most when you were working. Today and every day have a shot of caring for yourself with the same joy.
We do not like it but it is true, the more caring we are the more neglected we feel.
We have to regain our entitlement to the care we need.
Keep in touch. It is no burden to encourage. I am very inclined to be like you. Reach out every day 🌟🌟
I gree. I always cared for others, never myself. I am slowly learning it now.
Ask yourself several times per day what would you say somebody in your position, what would you suggest? Learn to talk to yourself like to best friend and with time you will notice that you are becoming one
Im about you weight,just started diet again,i got gallstones in my bladder,due to have mri scan soon,hope to have surgery,told by dr to lose weight ready for surgery,i have lots of health issues as well,but we can do it,what is good ,never go shopping ,when you are hungry,always eat first,it has made a big difference to me,when im hungry,i want the bad things,but when im full,i dont want them,because there not in my cupboard i cant eat them,
Hello CoralAngel and welcome to the Weight Loss Forum
You certainly have a lot on your plate, and have my sympathy, it's not easy losing our parents, especially under such difficult circumstances. However, you have just taken that first most important step on your journey to a healthier fitter you And for thatbyounshould feel proud. 😀
Here are a few suggestions on how to get the most out of the forum. Please note if you are using the new HU App many of these features are not available so I suggest you use the full website version.
The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you
Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news
Have a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for
Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate
The forum also have group weigh-ins every day, as well as a new Daily Diary, if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page
You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you have a 'Newbie' badge. We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too. If you have any questions please just ask
Your not alone sweetheart. I lost my mother six months ago and a sister two months ago. And like you I am in constant pain. I joined SW because I was stuck indoors nearly 24/7 alone. Besides my support worker. I lost 5lb first week. I thought and a small part still thinks this will be a losing battle, but if tomorrow I lose weight it will be a blessing.
It can be done. I told my GP that this is for my survival, as my bp gets dangerously high. I was put on different meds today I don't plan on being on them for long.
It only takes one step forward to get the life you want. Be strong xx
I am deeply sorry you have loss your mother also, and very sadly lost your sister also..
I do not have words to ease your heartbreak.
I felt so empty like I had a cannon ball put through my tummy..
I comfort ate bits and bobs.. pack of crisps that would sometimes turn into a family pack.. a couple of biscuits that turned into a full packet of biscuits ...
I do not think I have ate a proper meal since my mother passed away...
I cook meals for my family.. but don't eat myself..
I have turned into a secret eater.. mostly at night when my family are sleeping... I mostly cry when my family are sleeping..
During the day I tell family am fine.. and try to get through the day smiling..
HI you sound like me. Apart from I am alone never married I let the love of my life walk out in 2015 and then I just wanted to be a constant for my mother after her stroke. Which I am grateful for. I was never a lover of crisps but I'd eat 3 to4 packets a day after mum passed. But my blood pressure was getting dangerously high hence I decided to lose weight.
It was the anger of my selfish siblings setting me off. Don't be afraid to watch a comedy and laugh. My mother and I loved some like it hot with Marilyn Monroe jack Lemon and Tony Curtis. I watched it Alone and rolled about laughing as it was like I could hear my mum and dads comments and laughter.
It will take time (I lost it on Friday an old neighbour of my parents passed so I went to pay my respects to her children I lost it). We can do it
Hi, I am also a newbie here. Just read your post and I feel for you. Sounds like you've had a time of it. It's so easy to give up and ignore what needs to be done just because it's easier that way. But by Sharing your feelings and actually saying what you want is the first step on getting to be where you want to be.
The first week of cutting down is the worst, I'm not going to lie. It affected my mood so much and all I wanted to do was sleep and cry and of course reach for the food. You really need to be in the right frame of mind to start I'd say so make sure your ready for it or you will give in before you properly start.
It does get easier week two I was less hungry, and I stopped thinking about food all the time! By week 3 I felt satisfied after each low calorie meal.
The next thing I'd say is weight yourself once a week I was so happy when I seen the scale go down, it made the hunger and the mood swings sooo worth it just to see id lost something. There's no better buzz than seeing the numbers go down.
I eat no more than 1500 calories a day and I write it all down in a note book. I still have a cheeky cheat meal once a week but I will eat less during that day so I don't go over my calories for that day. Makes it easier when u pick a day and look forward to getting it.
I don't exercise so much, life gets in the way I try and do a bit each day (just at home) but on a Sunday I go a long walk with my mum and aunty and I feel fitter for it. I used to get out of breath but not so much now. I really enjoy it too. So maybe even try a walk here and there or swimming is good for the health problems you have.
I wish you all the luck and I hope you get something out of my reply. It's so hard when you want something to change but don't know where to start.
I will have my fingers crossed for you. I really hope your ok. And you do well. My fiance has a type of arthritis and I know how hard he finds it to walk never mind do much else. I'm at him all the time to try swimming. Let me know how you find it.
A diary for eating and cooking us good. Keep for a week and repeat
Hello coralangel my heart goes out to you , I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time but you have already been given a lot of advice from other members of the forum so all I can say is good luck with your weight loss journey you are not alone , you can do this X
I lost my dad when i was 15 and my mam when i was 25, it was the hardest thing ive ever had to endure. I comfort ate and put on 4 stone, didn't look after myself and ended up with type 2 diabetes. (Diabetes is in the family) My daughter was 22 months old when my mam died so i decided i had to look after myself for her and my husband. I wanted to live longer than my parents so set about losing weight which i did, went to slimming world and took up exercise. I lost the 4 stone but last year my husband and step dad were both in hospital at the same time, i ended up putting nearly 2 stone back on but over the last 9 months i re-joined slimming world, i've lost a stone but i'm struggling to get the last bit off so decided to join this group, there is lots of tips/advice/recipies to help you along. The biggest thing of all is you have to do it for you and losing weight will help with your health, just losing a stone i've had my medication halved. Good luck and don't give up, one day at a time.
Well done for signing up. I signed a few weeks ago but lost my way and have been ignoring the emails .... yours caught my eye and I opened it.
I really sympathise with your problems you must be so strong to support your family.
I have found that just when I think I've had all my share of life's rubbish a bit more drops on my lap, but, just because I feel down one day, I may feel wonderful the next. I read that somewhere and it makes me smile and gets me through the rubbish day.
I have RA which has at times stopped me walking, moving my arms and neck too, but I have many good days and I'm thankful for that.
I'm 53, retired (so lots of time to eat) and live with my two teenagers. I've got about 3 stone to lose.
I'm a junkatarian too ... that so made me laugh ..... but I always start the day with an apple and a yoghurt! I so need to change.
I'm coeliac so not allowed wheat (most cakes and pastries) but still overeat.
I've just taken a picture of a dress I would like for my holidays and have put it as a screen saver in my phone to remind me of my target.
I don't yet have grandchildren but would love to be around to see them and be healthy for them.
Take care and good luck, it's going to feel so good to succeed. Your message has really hit home and inspired me. Pls message me whenever X
Hello CoralAngel you could be describing me. I am also 5ft 4ins, a little older than you 60, have three children, been married for 37 years and was 7st overweight when I started in February. Found it difficult to exercise due to the pain in my knees. I also lost my father recently.
I joined the NHS 12 week diet and lost a few pounds but I find this website far far better for help and encouragement. I bought myself a fit bit and started walking a few steps each day inside at first, gradually increased it and it got easier each week. I know walk 10,000 steps each dayover the last 4 months I have lost 9lbs. I generally lose a pound around every 3 weeks, slow I know but in the right direction and my knees don't hurt quite so bad. I eat generally what I want but stick within the alloted calories for my current weight of 16st 4lbs and for me it is working so I am going to stick with it. It may be a very long journey but it is one I can stick with for life and feel good about the litt6steps I am making in the right direction. Good luck with your journey.
Coral My heart goes out to you. I do not have all of your concerns but have some of them l have struggled with my weight all of my life and it has in my later years caused me some problems. Ask your doctor for some help l had some help with going to talk to someone about my issues and this really helped me to get into a better frame of mind, and this then turn made it easier to diet. Good luck and you are in my thoughts.
Hi, just wanted to welcome you. My children are grown up, too, but I am not lucky enough to be a grandmother yet. I hope you find some support on this forum - everyone is very nice. I wish you the very best of luck - and sleep, too, as this will help!
BTW, I lost my dad when I was 18 and my first son when he was 20, so I can empathise with the sorrow you are feeling.
You are not lost anymore. You have reached out and have made a positive move by joining here, where you won't be judged, only supported. I too am an unhealthy vegetarian who feels like life continues to throw obstacles at me. It always seems like an uphill battle and the only way of dealing with it, is falling apart or having food and drink, which later makes you feel worse about yourself. You are not alone. You sound like you are someone who is always giving, maybe its about time you gave yourself something. Give yourself some, love , have a break and take up any offers of help. But most of all learn to say no; not just to people but to those cravings too. Don't see the word as a negative - see it as a way of loving yourself. I'm trying hard to start doing this myself too.
Hi CoralAngel, my thoughts are with you. I am 4 stone over weight and like you feel that it's hopeless trying to lose the weight. I have osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia and was due to have a knee replacement next Tuesday, but it has been cancelled because i am tachycardic, so now another wait to see when i can have my new knee. I don't know where to start to lose weight. I went to SW, the last time i stayed for 2yrs and only lost13 1/2 llb, I can't exercise very much as the pain stops me, it really gets me down so you really are not alone. Maybe we should keep watch on each other for advice and tips if we have lost any weight. Good luck and big hugs.
I can't imagine how you must feel. However, I send my good thoughts to you.
First of all, I'm proud of you that you came to us and opened up. This is great first step! You should be proud of yourself as well! You came to the right place. There are many great people around here.
Now, it is time to do something for youself. I hope your swimming was nice and as summer is coming, you will be joyfully going there more often It is great way to move and loose few pounds when you have health problems with joints, muscles, and/or bones. Apart from swimming, it would be great if you would spend 10-15 min on strength exercises in water, or maybe sign up for aqua aerobic?
As it was mentioned before, try to fit in more walking. In the beginning it can be shorter time, but few times a day. I you have a possibility to buy some kind o step counter (FitBit, or any other), for first week just see what your daily step count is, and then try to increase it slowly, bit systematically (e.g. 1,000 a week).
Regarding food, as you're already cooking, please eat it as well. I bet, it will be nice for your family to sit and eat together with you. And, of course, it will be very good for your health. You can start with small portions To keep yourself full with decreased amounts of calories, remember to increase your protein consumption (tofu, soya, beans). I am not sure if you can eat, but also fishes and seafood, low-fat diary. Increase also healthy fats, like avocados, coconut oil, nuts, peanut butter. This should keep you satisfied for longer. If you feel hungry grab a fruit! Or eat a salad. Search for healthier exchanes for your favourite food. Eating regularly should help with some of cravings.
I know the problem of eating your stresses There are better ways to deal with it without hurting your body with junk food. During nights, you could try some meditation, mindfulness, writtin your pain away into the diary, breathing exercises (some of which may help you strengthen your muscles as well, e.g. abs), maybe sneak out for 15 min walk before opening fridge or pantry. Try also self-massage, e.g. face or head massage.
Every time, you feel bad, just come here and write to us. I've learnt that it is better to write before it's too late, so don't wait till last minute
Remember: every day, every hour, every minute is good to chabge or come back to the right truck (if you loose it for a moment). We are not dieting in here, we are eating healthy It is not a sprint, it is marathon. So find what is working for you, experiment. Not all experiments will be successful, but you will find things that are. So try to find pleasure in it and enjoy the ride!
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X 
There are better ways to deal with it without hurting your body with junk food. During nights, you could try some meditation, mindfulness, writtin your pain away into the diary, breathing exercises (some of which may help you strengthen your muscles as well, e.g. abs), maybe sneak out for 15 min walk before opening fridge or pantry. Try also self-massage, e.g. face or head massage.
High Fat Low Carb!
I'm new....Do I delay for now?
