Last week it was going alright, this week? Not so much!

[DiZia]

My weight loss has stagnated.

I've been eating the right amount, I think. I can't cook fancy meals, because I'm reliant on my mother for food, I'm a college student, and I have social anxiety and "atypical autism", in addition to severe depression I've had since I was 12. So I'm petrified of going to job interviews, and I'm not on JSA.

I had around 2,000-2,100 calories as recommended by that calculator, but the scales aren't shifting. I have FitnessPal.

Ideally, I should be losing at least 4lbs a week, because I'm morbidly obese at 21.9st!

But, it's been hovering around the same weight of 301lbs to 305lbs, depending on when I have dinner. For 4 days!! Ridiculous.

I'm tired of this. I knew I was right when I said that it would be impossible for me to lose weight in my introduction post. It's only possible for me to gain or maintain.

If I don't see a change, I'm going to have to stop. There's really no point, and it's very painful and frustrating. This is hell on earth. I'm already 19, and I've missed out on so much in life because of my weight. I'm trapped and I look disgusting.

I can't even ask you guys for help, because nothing will work.

[Tiggerr]

Well done for posting DiZia It must seem very frustrating.

You may have read in some of the other posts that it's possible to not eat enough and that may actually be what you're doing. I'm not sure which BMI calculator you used but try using the NHS BMI calculator

nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyw...

... and I suspect your 'minimum' calorie requirement is going to be more like 2500/2600 even if you don't do any exercise. That may sound counter intuitive but I've seen many people here increase their intake and then start to see their weight drop.

Weight loss isn't linear, and each of our bodies is different. A while back I weighed myself on the Monday weigh-in then when I weighed myself 2 days later for a mini challenge I was 1.5kg heavier (which was a shock) but by the following Monday I showed an overall loss (all the time without changing anything). What I'm trying to convey is that 4 days isn't any time at all to gauge how things are going. Some people here only weigh themselves every month, as they know how much the body might change over that period.

It may seem confusing at the moment but do please stick with it all. I can guarantee that it is possible to lose weight and that whilst you keep posting we can work with you to get you where you want to be.

BTW, like it or not, you did just ask us for help and every time you feel you need it, you should keep asking for it. We are often asking each other for help because that is how we are moving on.... together.

Good luck, you can do it.

[DiZia in reply to Tiggerr]

Thank you! I recently started to up my calories. Now I'm not eating as much junk, it's very hard to get to the mid 2000s range like they suggest. I'll throw in some extra foods. Thank you, again! I spent a few mintes rereading your comment.

[Tiggerr in reply to DiZia]

I know what you mean about finding it hard to up your cals when you've removed less healthy food. As of Monday, now that I'm 'maintaining' I've raised mine by 400 per day and at the moment I've been finishing off my day with unsalted cashew nuts just to get to the new level.

I try and use the Daily Diary as there's so much information just from reading what others eat, and that is helping to give me ideas.

lol, I have to read my own posts more than once to try and understand what I've written.

All the best!

[bikegrrrl 1lb]

Hello DiZia , don't you give up! Like the man says in Star Trek, "You cannae change the laws of physics, Captain" ... or biology.

You need to find what works for you, in your circumstances. And 4 days is not long, weight does fluctuate even in a downward trend.

Are you calorie counting? If your mother is cooking for you, do you know for sure how many cals you're consuming in a day? Is she "on side" about your losing weight?

Sorry, loads of questions there, but I try and approach my weight loss as scientifically as I can - weights, measures, seeing what works, kindof experimenting in a way I suppose. I took 18 years to get this big, I am not going to lose it instantly (although I hope it doesn't take another 18 years, lol!) And I've decided to enjoy the journey - there are lots of nice things to eat and I like "looking after" my body, makes me feel better about myself than just shovelling food in.

I find it really hard to calorie count on the days someone else is cooking, I get them to tell me what they used (weights of ingredients, or get them to keep the packet till I've looked at the info on the back! etc) and calculate it from there. Also not to use anything too calorific in the first place. So I need them to make a bit of an effort too, to help me lose weight, and they know that.

Hope you may find some of this helpful in working out your approach. I'm cheering you on.

[Hidden in reply to bikegrrrl]

That was Scottie out of Star Trek who said that when Riley (the Irishman) had turned the engines off and they were spiralling down out of control. Scottie said he would need half an hour to restart the engines. Spock saved the day as usual with an intermix formula which meant they either would be saved or blow up coz it had never been tried before! I am a Trekkie! Original serious only as I loved Captain Kirk

You can lose weight so please don't give up hope. The good news is as you are still very young, as long as you lose weight slowly, any loose skin with shrink a lot faster than with us 'oldies'. Listen to the great advice on here and you will succeed.

[DiZia in reply to bikegrrrl]

Thanks for the reply. My mother doesn't cook a lot, I usually cook for myself. I've been using an app called fitness pal to calculate my calories.

My mother has been obese for around 20 years now, and she doesn't seem interested in losing weight. When I was younger, I used to ask her to not buy me takeaways and such, and she used to try to talk (munipulate) me into consuming these toxic foods, even when I expressed a strong desire not to. Mostly by telling me lies about not being "that big", insisting others would've mentioned it if I was. Keep in mind, this weight didn't increase very rapidly, and I was around 16st at 10, and was struggling to fit into size 16 and 18s.

I'm bitter, to be honest. I don't want anything to do with her regarding my weight loss. I consider her feeding me into morbid obesity as child abuse, just as bad as a mother starving or severly beating their child.

I don't hate her, and perhaps if I lose weight, it'll encourage her to follow suit.

As of this morning, I'm 300.8lbs/21st6.5lbs. It's sooo slow, lol.

[bikegrrrl 1lb in reply to DiZia]

Well done you for recognising the wider issues around your eating habits and how this makes you feel.

Being in control of what you eat is really important, so I 'm glad you have a handle on the calories.

I have drawn a lot of strength from this forum in the 3 weeks I have been here, hopefully you will be able to do the same.

Keep going - onwards and downwards!

[Hidden in reply to DiZia]

Hi the thing is too many parents think they are doing the best for their children and being kind and loving by making them eat. I am fortunate coz my mother was always very sensible (and slim) and taught me good eating habits. It must be very hard to have to retrain yourself when you don't have that background.

You will succeed though if you are determined enough - and you are. You might ask what I am doing on here? I was always slim when young but started putting weight on in my late 30's. I am not massively overweight but do need to lose at least 1 stone and hopefully a bit more.

I am concentrating on. not following any plan, but learning which foods to avoid and tweaking my eating habits so I can get this weight off and keep it off. I am learning a lot on here as you will too.

[IndigoBlue61]

Two great responses there DiZia 😊

Please read and give them careful consideration 😊

[DiZia in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Thank you! I will, haha. Amazing. =D

[Minniewinny 5 stone Maintainer]

Nothing will work but you.. You will make this work for you. The forum, your food choices, your utube exercises and your encouragement you give others..

I've just read your advice to a newbie and was so encouraged that I came to your page...

Please look in your mirror and love that beautiful person you see.. 19 years old and heavier than you want to be right now, but lovely you are. So want you to succeed.

Cheering you on 🎉🎉🎉

[Hidden]

You are amazing. You can do this. You are not alone😘