I hate myself

[Kimberly225]

Hi am kimberly Bradshaw I suffer with my weight I need help

[Bobs-Minion]

There's already too much hate in world to be turning it on yourself! Do you have particular goals/targets set that you would like to achieve? Start with small things that are definitely possible, as you achieve little things hopefully your mood will pick up! Good Luck!

[Fatboyslim99]

Hi Kim take small steps each day as it comes don't think to much it will happen stay strong 💪💪

[Deelee101]

Kimberly, to start with make a small change. Sometimes even the smallest change can make a difference. I found going to a group meeting was good for me as I realized that even if you only lost half a pound it was still a loss. And if you gained or maintained weight you were totally supported in a friendly atmosphere.

Please don't hate yourself you are a wonderful person. I remember some of my friends saying that they wished they had my curves.

If you have a bad day just brush it off and start again.

Good luck

Debbie

[VictoireLili]

Hi Kimberly

Please don't hate yourself.

1/Begin by being thankful for what you already have.

2/Then set small achieveable goals like going for short daily walks and eating the food you like but in smaller portions.

3/ Also increase your consumption fruits like apples- they help you feel fuller... and drink GREEN TEA, its great at curbing your cravings

4/once you start taking small steps, you'll be encouraged by your progress and that'll boost your confidence.

Remember we're all in this together

Lydie XX

[Kimmm-xa]

Hi Kimberly, I know how you feel but I have learned when you hate yourself you don't think your worth the effort. Love yourself and you will be willing to put the hard work in to transform yourself. My advice don't be to strict with yourself allow yourself the odd treat so you don't crave it too much. Also set mini goals like losing 3lbs in a week and when you do it reward yourself. Good luck xxx

[PhilipMarc]

Hi Kimberly, this is the best place to start: admitting you need support and joining this group. We are all going through similar experiences and the advice you have been given is right so far. Set targets, aim to get there in small steps and if you have a bad day aim to have a better one tomorrow. There will be a lot of bad days and better tomorrow's to come. But also a lot of great days with EVEN better tomorrows too so don't give up.

What do you need right now? (without feeling you are embarrassing yourself) (are you doing any exercise? Are you on a diet? Are you doing both and it's not working or you just can't stick to them?

What advice can we give you that will help you feel more positive about yourself and get you going in the right direction to manage your weight?

[Johnny-One Visitor]

“When you delete the unnecessary people (or things) from your life, good things will start happening for you and it won't be a coincidence.”

If you are feeling down about yourself, it is a starting point. Remind yourself about all that is good in your life; those people that love YOU … not for your shape, your money or what you can do, but just for you. Remind yourself about all those things you love; whether it is music, movies, certain places. Now go each day along your journey and give yourself a treat with one of those things each day. Meet one of your friends or listen to one of your pieces of music, whatever does it for you.

You have seven responses so far; that is four more people in your life that love you for you. Four more people who know the kind of feelings you feel and have taken the time to respond to you. I know every person on this planet is unique and special, and every one is loved deeply by someone irrespective of who they are or what they have done. I love you for who you are irrespective of your shape. I have never seen you and I know you are a beautiful person in side … I have faith in you. Now start your journey to change your world as you want it to be.

You have taken the first step, enjoy the rest of the journey and do not worry about the destination.

[freyja12]

Hi i saw your message and thought i try and help you well i have started a friut and veg diet and it does work but you have to stick at it all so make sure you have some protiens in your diet i can't because i have a special diet because i have a medical problem and try and excercie if you can or like me i went to my GP to go on a weight clinic they can help you and keep an i on your weight and they make sure you lose the weight i hope this helps let me know how you procress all the best freyja.

[Seuzan]

Gather all your strength and energy and decide right now that you are going to love and be kind to yourself.

Take yourself in hand - and make it a priority project!

Start with the physical (hair cut, nice moisturiser, paint your nails, clear out any clothes that you do not love, give yourself permission to buy something you do love - don't give up if this takes time).

If you have not already done so, take a look at the nhs 12 week plan. Print it off and do your best to stick to it - if you mess up, no big deal, forgive yourself and start again (that is what we all have to do on a regular basis. You are not alone!).

Feelings come and go. Step back, watch your feelings and what they are trying to tell you and then take the decision to do something about it. Like FBS99 says, small steps are the way.

If you aim to lose just 1lb per week, in 14 weeks you will lose a stone.

You can do it!!!! xx

[miamia]

Sad to read. Feel for you.

Set a small goad, maybe a monthly challenge, mine is 'I won't eat pizza'. This may seem odd at the moment, but it really can make you feel better about yourself, and that you have achieved something. It would be a start and you could build on this.?

[Cat33 Restart Dec 2023]

Hi Kimberley don't hate yourself Start today with just small changes write a food diary and all that's good in your life Have a goal look forward and I'm sure we'll have you on this forum posting" I love myself" very soon We are all here to support you Love and good luck 💕😀💕

[bigbumtoo]

Hey Kimberly225

We are all here to help and support you.

But please don't hate yourself. Regardless of what weight you have to lose and the struggles you have had I bet you a tenner that there will be people here who have had similar struggles. Be gentle with yourself and let us help you.

You're really not alone in this group.

Much love xxx

[PhilipMarc]

Some council run gyms actually do programmes especially for over weight people. You need to be referred by your GP. Get yourself a appointment, search the Internet and see what is out there.

Do you snack a lot? Swap crisps and chocolate for fruit. Replace a meal with a fruit smoothie or diet/protein shake of some kind. Prunes and walnuts make great snacks. Get on the NHS Couch to 5k. Start making positive steps. But most importantly, go at your pace and make friends who will support you, not friends who will hold you back or tell you to go at their pace. Keep in touch with us on your progress and we'll encourage you! We know what it's like as we are walking on the same roads!

[katy6860]

Hi Kimberly, how are you feeling now? better I hope by reading all the good will we have for you. I have been where you are and still fall in that same feeling at times. what made me want to lose weight was that I finally quit hating so much and decided that there are too many people that love me for who I am, not what I look like. I am funny, warm and kind - not just a fat person like I always thought I was. I am chubby, no doubt, but that is not who I am it is only what I look like. I have done some terrible things to myself in the name of hatred and I hope you have not or will not. it is a painful place to be and I hope you can get out of it soon. everyone has given you some good advice. the main thing I think you could do now is be kind to yourself and change one little thing and stay away from the scales. signed.. been there too, katy

[Marylou54]

People here are caring and supportive and i for one have already gained so much help from the forum. You can see how they have responded to you and how much they are willing you on. Be kind and gentle to yourself - think if you were talking to someone else in your position. What would you say to encourage them? You want to change things - that's the first step which is wonderful. Big hugs.

[Itsbab]

Hi Kimberley you have had so much helpful advice above from these lovely people there isn't anything I can add really.

I would write down in a book how you felt yesterday then how you feel today knowing you are not alone but part of a helpful group who will encourage you advise you when you need it.

Your introduction was short do you work? Family? Age etc? all add to life's pressures.

Keep your book, put every little adjustment you want to make like walking more, lower your calories, each day a tiny goal to aim for it is amazing when you reach those goals how good you feel and believe me I know how low you can feel about yourself and your weight and if a 56 year old, ex depressed out of work me can do this I know you can.

When I started my journey I wrote in my book all the pro's and why I wanted to loose weight then all the con's about loosing weight which there were hardly any. My book ( same as a diary) if full of 9 weeks worth of Today I am going to.... and YES! I did it. It's not all plain sailing we all have our off days but like everyone on the forum say's yesterday is past tomorrow start again.

I am sure you are a beautiful lady maybe life has dealt you a few bad blow like a lot of us but let today be your Independence Day to a new Kimberley the I CAN DO THIS BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT!

Best Wishes Bev

[Cockneyblue 2lbs Restart Jan 2024 in reply to Itsbab]

I love this reply Bev, some of us can't put into words how we feel but people on this forum say exactly what we've felt or feeling. Of course many of you will know having been there. Once again I can't thank you enough everyone for taking the time to lift and inspire others. Well done Kimberly for sharing with us how you feel. Please take notice of these lovely lovely people on here, they really have your happiness and health at heart.

Good luck and keep posting xx

[Itsbab in reply to Cockneyblue]

Hi Cockneyblue 😊👍 we all help in our own little way as Tesco's say Every Little Helps and when we all come together on the forum we are amazing! Helping each other is what we all do. I hope you are doing ok, this hot weather is testing us to keep moving, my shower is on overdrive. keep looking after yourself wherever you are enjoy the weekend. Bev 💖

[Cockneyblue 2lbs Restart Jan 2024 in reply to Itsbab]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

Oh Kimberly. That is just awful. How on earth are you going to change if to start with you're hating the very thing that you want to change? I used to be 25 stone but have lost 145lbs. I haven't been on a diet either. The way I lost weight was to make smart changes. Firstly I ditched sugar in drinks. Any drinks including tea and coffee. Also I changed the milk in my cereal to almond milk. These two changes dont seem much but together they add up to not putting in an extra stone inside me every year.

Ditch white foods like bread and pasta. Just swap them for whole grain breads and whole wheat pasta. White rice for wild rice. They fill you up and that full feeling lasts longer.

Go and do some exercise. Now listen to this one......

IF YOU CANNOT HOLD A FULL CONVERSATION THEN YOU ARE EXERCISING TOO HARD.....

Yes it's true. To burn FAT you need to exercise at a low intensity. Fast walking is fantastic and before long you will be able to slightly jog and walk and still hold a conversation. As you lose weight your body will be able to do more and more. I now run, yes for fun, half marathons.

Don't beat yourself up. Draw that line, say to yourself enough is enough and move on. Only then can you become the person you want to be and don't have stupid goals. I will never have a body of a young fit man but I can now get into a size 34 waist trousers and feel fantastic yet I will never get a six pack..........

Good luck

[Itsbab in reply to Hidden]

Wow! well done on my our weight loss, there is a lot of sensible advise there dadtoad, I will be taking a lot of that on board, thanks for posting it. Hope you have a fab weekend. 🌞👍

[gman1961 Restart April 2024]

In the right place for support and advice,good luck . A great step taken in actually telling others how you feel.

[Claire2stone]

Hi kimberley 😀 you have had some amazing advice from all the wonderful people on this forum I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said.

I would say above everything else have a read of the nhs12wk as I don't believe I would of lost my weight without it 👍 make a few tweeks to your diet, drink plenty of water, watch your portions and move a bit more.

Good luck with your journey and I look forward to seeing your progress.

Positive thinking and you will succeed 😉

Claire x

[slimpickings 2 stone]

I read your post this morning and your word have been eating away at me all day. Well done being brave enough to put into words how you truly feel. The advice, support and love that runs through all the replies you have received hopefully shows the concern that this wonderfully supportive group have for you. I can t really add any more advice as you may feel a bit overwhelmed. Please remember that what is on the outside is nothing compared to the beauty on the inside. Maybe you will feel a little stronger tomorrow and post again.

Sending you a hug. Xx

[healthygenes]

What a great response Kimberly,I have dieted all my adult life,obviousley not successfuly else I would be thin by now which I'm not,however a few monthes ago I came across slim extreme gold they definitely do work no side affects well, dry mouth because you must drink lots of water,read up on it check it out first,lts not cheap so then if you want a kick start it will work, it's herbal, but be careful who you buy from I found the place in Kettering I think it's Northamptonshire,but message me if you want it verifying,I know how miserable weight can be and sometimes we need just a bit of help as well as advise,but check everything out first,best of luck.

[Sueinsheff]

Dear Kimberly, your brief yet powerful statement has struck a chord in me. I don't know what to say to you directly because I don't know enough about you but I know what it is to live with negative inner voices and to have issues with weight, eating and, for me, body image. I am 57 and I like to think there has been and is huge improvements being made in the support available in such complex and sometimes taboo area as eating. One of the most recent powerful things that helped me was the acceptance and support I got from an eating disorder association. I learnt to have compassion and understanding of my negative inner voice. It doesn't mean I have to believe or act on that voice but I can gently listen because that voice is trying to tell me in the only way she knows that something isn't right in my world right now. I am really not suggesting you have an eating disorder, that is my story. What I would say is I believe learning to have compassion and gentleness with ourselves can help us know what we need to do to look after ourselves. And given the stereotypes of so called perfection that our society and many cultures hold up as our goal and aspiration it's therefore perfectly understandable that we may hate ourselves - after all there's a lot of folk out there that's got a lot riding on it. Give yourself a break, how you think and feel can change - the balance can change over time. And remember you are not alone xx

[Hidden]

Hi Kimberly,

Don't hate yourself - you've not murdered anyone, you've just got a spare tyre, like a lot of us! At least you are now going to do something about it, so you should give yourself a pat on the back and crack on with the job!

If you have quite a bit to lose - eg 3 stone or more - then you can start fairly gently, and you should still find that you get a good weight loss. You can then cut down further as you get nearer goal and your weight loss slows.

So, for example, stop snacking. Give yourself 3 decent meals a day of healthy ingredients, and enjoy them.

Don't make yourself eat foods you don't like - nobody actually has to consume coconut water and tofu unless they want to. But, at the same time, make an effort to try and like as many healthy foods as you can. If you are not a big vegetable eater, for example, do challenge yourself to eat the minimum 5 portions a day, and give them a chance before making a face! If necessary, treat it like medicine and get them down you somehow! They will fill you up, and are very good for you.

Avoid alcohol completely, if you possibly can, as it's so high in calories, makes you feel hungry and dampens will power - a truly terrible triple whammy.

If you like crisps/chocolate bars/sweet fizzy drinks and other assorted junk foods, then it is better to cut them out completely if you can. Some people find that a small taste of their favourite junk food helps them keep to their plan. This would be around 200 cals of junk food, so a small packet of crisps, or one chocoolate biscuit, or a small choc bar. Others find that a small taste just makes them want to eat even more. If you are one of those people who can have just a taste, then around 200 cals a day of treats should be fine, but be honest with yourself. If you just find it makes you want to eat another 200 cals and another, then it's best to avoid them.

Try and be as active as you can, and as you lose weight and get fitter, increase your activity as much as you can. Starting out with walking 10,000 steps a day, even if it just round the back garden, do a few toning exercises while watching TV, even standing while watching TV rather than sitting, is a good start.

However, do be very aware that, when it comes to losing weight, what and how much you eat is far more important than what exercise you do. Exercise is good for you, and you should do as much as you can, but it won't make you slim. Getting your diet right will make you slim. Your exercise will help you be healthier generally, will help you keep the weight off, and will mean you look a nice toned and healthy slim instead of a scraggy and scrawny slim.

Finally, one thing I've found is that when you make a start on your weight loss, it really helps to make a full commitment and do it properly. Really focus on the job in hand, and don't be distracted. That way you will get consistent results. Doing it half-heartedly, as a lot of people do, means that you get all the struggle and none of the results.

I hope this is of some help to you. All the best.

[jjgilb]

Sorry not been on for about a week. Why are you suffering? Do you think you are fat or is it you're uncomfortable with the weight you are? If you feel as though your weight is causing health problems then you need to get sorted. Eat smaller portions, more protein than carbs and chew gum. Chewing gum stops you puting food into your mouth and it's great when you are preparing a meal and just want to pop food in. Go out and do something you enjoy. Forget about gyms as you soon get bored. I'm into gardening so that is making me fitter. If you don't want to go out then there is plenty of exercise you can do at home. If you enjoy housework then clean the house from top to bottom, or ask a friend if you can do theirs. Put some music on and have a dance, just don't sit and watch tv. If you enjoy tv, then stand and watch it. Join in with the action on the tv, so if there is a police chase then pretend you're the actor and run after the bad guys. Just keep moving and the weight will come off.

[freyja12]

Hi it's freyja12 i don't know if it was you that i wrote to and you told me that you hated fruit and veg let me know send me a message soon