Bad day

[Gottodothis]

Hi Everyone,

Well my day started really well lovely sunny sky, perfect dog walk with friends, home for breakfast and watched our 32yr old daughter open her birthday presents and cards. Now we would normally go ti my best friends house s it is her sons birthday today as well, but for some reason they insisted they come to ours.

Well all started well presents swapped, brew in hand, general chatter and then it started. Instead of wearing my tracky pants I had my leggings on from walking the dog. At the present I won't by new clothes has in afew months theyw will be too baggy so while theses can be kept up thy will do.

First my friends hubby

"Your too skinny, look really ill, a bag of bones has more meat on than you, you need to stop dieting, why are you doing this and it got worse not only the words but the tune, then came the real dig your anorexic not listening you cant be eating properly, your really ill and need to stop now, but people with anorexic dont realise they have a problem until it is too late. To which I got up went ti my phone put up myfitnesspal and replied 'what day would you like to look at yesterday, last week, last month to check what I'am eating my sister took the phone. I was devastated. My husband told them to shut up and that I was eating and doing it properly. 10mins later they left with my friend whispering see she did not listen.

My husband and daughter was fuming and I went to the gym but the words even now are ringing in my ear. They hurt not just the words but the tone like shouting, dictating. Sorry but unlike them who have both got tabs for high blood pressure, extremely high cholesterol on verge of diabetic and both been offered on nhs free gym and trainer. But I did not bite.

Need to get their words out of my head.

Thanks for reading.

Wendy

[muffintop67]

Did you say these people were your friends? I think you have every right to be cross. They said some very rude things. Sounds to me like they are very jealous and obviously a bit ignorant about healthy eating. What a shame to be so horrible on your daughter's birthday too. Imagine them standing in front of you and give them a good talking too. Say everything you would want to say to their faces if you could - as its imaginary you can really go for it. Hopefully that may help you get their words out of your head - does work for me. Well done for not having a go back and lowering yourself to their level. Hopefully their words will fade - don't let them get you down

[IndigoBlue61]

That's dreadful!! And on your daughters birthday too 😡 Hope you feel better for getting it off your chest 😊

[natkat]

Sounds like your doing the right things and improving your health. Focus on the positive actions your taking for yourself. A nice treat like a long bath, or new nails always makes me feel better, your doing well so don't listen to negative people, sounds like your husband is supportive - listen to the positive comments

[Hidden]

I made a comment to someone else on here yesterday who had suffered spiteful comments about her weight.

Generally the people who lack confidence and feel insecure about their own bodies are those who feel the need to be spiteful to others.

Keep up the good work - you're doing great 😊

[Claire2stone]

Oh my goodness Gottodothis you have every right to be upset at what your 'friends' said. You did the best thing you could of done in a tricky situation ... held your head up high and showed them the facts. They are probably jealous as you are changing yourself for the better while they are getting bigger and having health issues. Chin up and smile 😀 your doing great x

[Hidden]

Maybe they (or one of them) feel threatened or intimidated by your weight loss? Maybe your friend feels she is losing you (as you become someone different). You aren't - but she might feel that. Things you shared (eating) are things you aren't going to do anymore, or not in the same way. Maybe follow that telling off that @muffintop67 suggested with planning a way of reaching to her and letting you know you are still friends and you value that? Just a thought.

[Seuzan]

I agree with the supportive comments above, there is no excuse for hurtful comments!

I guess if it were me I would reflect carefully to make sure that there is absolutely no truth in their comments. If your weight is line with nhs recommendations and you feel fit and healthy then you have nothing to worry about.

If you are underweight and still losing weight, then you need to tread carefully.

I think choosing to manage your weight healthily is something to be proud of!

[Hidden]

Hi GTDT,

Hope you are feeling a bit better today {{{{hug}}}} and are able to do something really nice for yourself😃

It is hard when friends and family don't embrace the positives changes we decide to make for our health. It's not helpful to have that level of negativity and to spoil a special day is awful.

You are so right to push their words from your head, maybe your success is making them feel uneasy and threatened especially if they have potential health issues.

Always be true to yourself and continue your journey till you have reached YOUR goal😃

Take care

😇

[Gottodothis]

Good Morning Everyone,

Thanks so much for your kind words really appreciated. Unfortunalty the words are still in my head and will take afew days to remove. I normally text or ring her every day but have not contacted and won't till I calm down.

My trainer put me on a machine they have at the gym measures body size, weight, bmi and body fat. I'am 5ft 1 now weight 8st 11 lb which is just in the good range of nhs scale, bmi is 23 and body fat 28.7 which is 3 over what I should be. So nearly there. So it not like their words are close to true there not.

Everyone on here is so nice and understand where each person is coming from. Thank you so much for being there whatever the reason.

Wendy

[katy6860]

Wendy, I am so sorry that someone as close as that could hurt you so. they are terribly jealous you see and that is the only way to show it is to lash out at you. it is a shame people are so judgemental, but I am the same way sometimes, but I would never say it out loud. I feel bad that I think things like that sometimes, but unfortuneatly it is human nature and we always lash out at the ones we love the most when they make us feel the most vulnerable. just remember, you did NOTHING wrong, and they are just jealous and vulnerable and hurting. do not let another person take your glory or make you that angry as they are not worth your time. you are so much better than that. good luck doll!

[gman1961 Host]

Hi gotodothis,

Don't need enemies with friends like that .

Don't worry