Mirror, mirror on the wall....

[Portlandprincess]

Jo Brand, the comedian, once said 'I think I'm anorexic. When I look into a mirror I see a fat woman looking back at me.'

Well, when I've looked in a mirror, I've always seen a slim woman looking back at me. Even when obese. (Still don't even like typing that word)

so what changed?

I noticed my double chin in the reflection of my iPad. I couldn't feel my waist, my clothes were all too tight so I just bought the next size up.

I started to notice that my legs feel tingly, I get out of breath walking up the stairs, I put on my PJs when I get home from work rather than go out with friends, I don't take advantage of all the romantic moments that one should........

However, this morning I walked down the stairs with just a few twinges. I feel excited about how I'm going to feel in a few days, weeks and months time.

I'm getting back to me!

Thank you all for your support. Wouldn't feel this positive without you!

[Hidden]

It's funny the things that spur us onto doing something about the weight - for me it's the fact that I don't like having my photo taken. All the photos that we take of our daughter only have 'Dad' in them, seldom 'Mum' - because I don't want her looking back on photos when she is older thinking, wow Mum was fat

You know, being completely honest here, that must affect me more than I think because I've just burst into tears typing that...who needs expensive therapy eh, when you can spill your problems on a forum ?!

[Portlandprincess in reply to Hidden]

Lovely Lucca, sorry for upsetting you! We're all in this together. just having some idea as to what is our motivator might just help a bit more. I know you're going to make this change you are such a wonderful contributor and truly care about everyone here on the forum.....

[Hidden in reply to Portlandprincess]

It's alright - just having a 'moment' ! I'm feeling pretty positive in general as I've been doing well over the past couple of weeks. Thank you for your kind words

It's great when you start to feel more positive about doing something, like you felt this morning. I'm going to start C25K next week and strangely enough I'm really looking forward to it ?!!

How are you finding settling on an eating plan ? Have you got something worked out that seems to be working for you ? You sound like you are getting on well since you've started

[Portlandprincess in reply to Hidden]

I'm enjoying cooking for the first time and cooking healthy stuff too. Exercising before I eat in the morning is working for me too. Really curbs my appetite. I'm loving being part of this forum. So positive with people who are supportive. I'll look into the C25k. See what you're up to!

[LindaR62 in reply to Hidden]

Great idea to do C25K lucca; I really enjoyed the programme and it gives you a great feeling completing each "run". Also it takes your mind off food completely! You don't want to eat a big meal less than 2 hours before you run, you can't eat while you are doing the programme, and you don't feel like eating much for about an hour afterwards...!

[Hidden in reply to LindaR62]

I always eat quite well afterwards! But agree about not wanting to eat much beforehand. I stopped having heavy evening meals after a particularly difficult early morning run feeling worse for wear from the night before (actually I had a few runs like that, but eventually learned )

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Lucca, I'm totally with you about avoiding the camera being an emotive subject. Remember your daughter will go through many of the same things as you, and also there's so much more to see in photos than the size of a person. Maybe we all need to take a leaf out of Jo Brand's book. There's a soundbite keeps being played on radio 6 of her saying she loves the fitbit as she uses it to make sure she doesn't walk more than 100 steps a day, absolutely love it, so deadpan and resistant to the narratives we normally hear about being overweight. The message is we shouldn't feel judged by all these things, mirrors, expectations to exercise, we are who we are. If we want to change, it has to be for ourselves x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Ruth - you make a lot of sense

It's always difficult with having kid/s around as well, as you don't want to set them off on the road to having body issues either ! But she notices when I'm trying to eat healthy ("why do you keep having tomatoes for breakfast ?"!!) - but I don't want to say I'm 'on a diet' or trying to lose weight. I just try to stick to the "we should all eat healthy" mantra ! But it's also difficult when you lose some weight and want to celebrate, but don't want to make a big deal about it in front of them !!

Jo Brand has it about right I think

[2bFabnfit]

Great post!

Being honest with yourself and accountable to us will spud you on to succeed in regaining your health.

You can do this. You are doing this!

[Portlandprincess in reply to 2bFabnfit]

Thanks 2B, one of the major differences to how I'm feeling is down to this forum. Just posting positive and reading inspirational posts keeps reinforcing what I'm going to achieve. It's not if or might...I just know that here I will succeed.

[Dave1961 25kg]

I love how "up " you sound.

Isn't great to be excited for the future instead of seeing a chubby you, you can see fit you.

Awesome!

[Portlandprincess in reply to Dave1961]

Feels good already...got into (just about ) a summer top. Must wear it now or I'll be too slim next year!

[gracie1985]

Back in 2009 I had to participate in a team building activity. The task was for a group of us to be enclosed by a pretend 'electrified' fence and figure out how to get everyone out onto the other side.

So after zero consideration the guys started picking up the light girls and throwing them over. I was then the only girl left with the guys inside the fence.

Then they started throwing over the light guys until a few were like 'it's your turn'. 4 guys tried to lift me and failed and after the time was up, me and the heaviest guy were left inside the fence and we failed the overall task.

Within a week I joined lighter life and lost 4 stones (which I have since regained).

I guess my motivation now is to be healthy, I have spent all of my life fat (apart from the brief 5 months I was slim after lighterlife). It's painfully slow losing weight sensibly though.

[Hidden in reply to gracie1985]

That doesn't sound fair. The people still inside the fence did the most throwing. They should have all got medals for gallantry or something.

[Hidden in reply to gracie1985]

That's true Gracie - it's too slow ! Hopefully however it might mean that you don't have the same problem with putting it back on again

And personally I would have thrown all those guys against the electric fence, then piled up their stunned bodies to form a human climbing frame to get yourself over the fence, waved bye bye and never looked back

[Portlandprincess in reply to gracie1985]

Wow, not much of a team building experience. I wonder how many of the men went home and then punished themselves with liquid meals for the next few months?

This is the best team for us on this forum. All for one and one for all. Did you work out a way to get every out of the fenced area?

It's taken me 30 years to put on the five stone. The last stone went on in just six months! I choose to melt them all away in the next year. And I plan to enjoy the food I'm eating too with the help of many wonderful posted recipes.......

Being healthy has to be the very best of all motivators. I was becoming increasingly concerned about type two diabetes.

[gracie1985 in reply to Portlandprincess]

Well I have diabetes in my familt, my mum and grandma has it. I don't want to get it

Apparently to get everyone out the trick was to remove the heaviest people first (whilst everyone in the fence could contribute to lifting)

Still would have been a choice between me and the 17 stone guy.

5 stones in 30yrs is pretty good lol but now it's there I can imagine it's annoying

[Portlandprincess in reply to gracie1985]

Even felt fat when I was a child so didn't appreciate being slim during the 30 yrs. What are we like!