Help

[traceywilkins]

Im all new to this site. And im in a desperate way. Ive tried so many things yet the weight is still coming on. I hate how i am. I want a life i want to enjoy my children and play with them instead of sitting in the back ground. Can anyone help me in starting this looong journey please.

[Blanket]

Hi Tracey,

Welcome to the weight loss group. Sounds like you've made a really positive choice to make a change in your life so well done for that. I used the site loads at the beginning of the year but haven't been on here much since June/July time. Due to my own personal difficulties I have ignored my recent weight gain and eaten all the wrong foods, been incredibly unmotivated to exercise and become more unhappy. So, like you, I am looking once again for some support and motivation to help me achieve a healthier life.

You don't give much details so I don't know how overweight you are/what you've tried in the past to lose weight/what worked/what didn't etc, so I apologise if any of what I say is useless/doesn't fit for you. I wonder whether you've tried looking at the NHS 12 week plan? I know lots of people on here have found it useful. Also, another site I was told about by people on here is MyFitnessPal. It's a useful site where you can log everything you eat and all your exercise and it helps you work out fairly accurate calorie information. I used to use it a lot and found it really motivating. For example, if I'd done some exercise and could see I had burned 200 calories, it made me think twice about having the biscuits that would be 300 calories etc.

Something I always think (but find hard to implement myself, as we all do) is to be kind to yourself. You've made a really positive decision and looked for ways to support yourself to reach your goal. I wonder whether you can think of a small weight loss goal and then reward yourself with a non-food item (get your nails done). This can help make us feel better and really buy into our new self-liking image, rather than chastising ourselves for being overweight. I guess you already know it will be a long journey so it's about making small manageable changes that you can stick to forever, not do for a few weeks and the give up. Perhaps you could make one change this week, like drink more water instead of sugary drinks? It's amazing as the weeks tick by how many healthy choices you can make which all add up to making a big difference.

I'm no expert Tracey, I've given up and am returning so maybe we'll meet again on here and both be able to support each other in this journey. Good luck in reaching your goal

[dawn2501 in reply to Blanket]

Blanket that is a lovely reply to Tracey, I too am in the rut again of feeling disgusted with myself, I do well for about 3-4 weeks then binge and put all the weight plus more back on, I hate this self destruct cycle I'm in and hate the way look and feel. I am having to deal with a fair few personal problems at the moment, my weight and health is the one thing I can control but can't seem to get it under control. I will watch out for yours and Tracey's posts to see how are you progressing, the support and advice on here is amazing. Good luck x

[margrete in reply to dawn2501]

There has got to be a reason why you're in a 'self-destruct' cycle, as you describe it. Have you, at the very bottom of your mind, got a feeling of 'I don't deserve this'? A feeling of lack of self-worth, in other words.

[dawn2501 in reply to margrete]

I really don't know why I ruin all my good work Margrete, when I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I can't control the bingeing, it's all or nothing with me. I know I have to get out of that mind set and not beat myself up when I've had a bad day. I do have a lack of self worth have no self confidence at all. I'm the classic bubbly fat lass that laughs at herself. I have some very good friends and are forever telling me that I'm a lovely person inside and out, just wish I could believe that myself. It's the 1st of the month tomorrow and I'm going to get back on that healthy eating/exercise wagon. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post

[Blanket in reply to dawn2501]

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for your reply. I think generally we're all too hard on ourselves but it seems to be especially re weight. For a long time I didn't care about gaining weight again, but would always stick with the usual thing people say "I need to lose weight". Then I got to a point where I outright said, "no, I'm not trying to lose weight at the moment." I guess you just have to know that the time is right for you to make some changes. I wonder if one reason you sabotage your good work is because you are unconsciously aware of the 'costs' of losing weight. For example, you mention that you are the "classic bubbly fat lass". But along with that narrative of yourself comes lots of assumptions, like always being happy, never caring about your weight etc. if you committed to changing that, do you think you may change the dynamic of some of your relationships with friends and acquaintances etc? I know for me I was really unhappy when I was thinner so the idea of losing weight actually feels like a punishment and mentally sends me back to a really bad time in my life. Now I'm trying to change my thinking and develop a new narrative of myself in my head so I don't see getting thinner as something negative. You can still be happy and bubbly if you're thinner

The thing I'm learning more and more is that you should be kind to yourself. You'll never achieve anything if you are your own biggest bully and berate your efforts to make changes. Be kind, acknowledge the things you are in control of and all the things you succeed at every day. Then committ to a small change in your diet.

I'll hopefully be catching up with you soon on here with our progress

[dawn2501 in reply to Blanket]

You are so right Blanket about being too hard on ourselves, i have been near to goal so many times but never seem to reach goal, not sure why though because i loved the feeling of fitting into my clothes and feeling healthier, i wish i could bottle the feeling for the days when i'm struggling. It's so much harder to lose the weight when you get older, now i've hit the 50's!!! lol. Well i started again on Saturday with it being the 1st of the month and i've not strayed once, hopefully this willpower will stay with me this time......one day at a time.

Good luck and hope to catch up with you shortly

[LuB1976]

Hi ladies, I'm stuck in the same rut too. I start a diet, do well for the first couple of weeks and then start eating all the wrong foods that I am deprived of and the weight piles back on again. It is 1st November tomorrow and today I bought a pair of trainers and downloaded the couch to 5 app. I decided that running is free and I need to get motivated. I am also downloading the nhs 12 week weight loss plan. Good luck everyone and hopefully we can motivate each other. Lucy x

[life-begins-at-50 in reply to LuB1976]

Hi LuB1976.....Pinch punch...1st day of the month. Good luck with the running. Hope it leads to you running your 5 k's.

All I want to share with you is .....don't deprive yourself of anything you fancy. Just have a little of it to satisfy yourself and then get back to your diet....or as I like to call it .....your 'healthy eating plan'.

[dawn2501 in reply to life-begins-at-50]

love the life-begins-at-50!!..... yep gonna stick with the healthy eating plan and think of it as a lifestyle change not a diet........need to get back into the exercise mode as well.

Love reading all the posts on here with advice and experiences

[Prin]

Hi ladies I have been there and come out the other side, it's about finding a regime that works for you and it's long term not a diet, I have been at goal now for over a year, I lost weight a couple of times before( but my weight was never this low. Now I am here I am waiting you know for that moments when it starts to creep back on But the key for me is bring mindful and weighing in on the forum weekly weigh in thread. I a

So don't have any of my old clothes and if I am buying now I try and stick to 8 or 10 - I dint want anything I have to grow into! Good luck with your journeys!

[dawn2501 in reply to Prin]

thank you Prin.

Well done you !!

[opensideflanker72]

Hi All, I have been there too.i am new to this forum and I am at my biggest now than I have ever been but I look at my children and I want to be able to do all the stuff I want with them. I was in that classic rut of "I am so tired I don't have enough energy to excersize" and I do love my food! My sister has been doing boot camp and is loving it but she lives about 150 miles away so she suggested that we do a sponsored hike up snowdon in memory of our dad. It's in the middle of may so it's a long term goal but it has really enthused me to get out there and do more. I came on to this site from calculating my bmi (38)on the nhs website. They have great downloads like couch to 5k and strength and flex that you can listen to on your phone whole you are doing them. There is a great meal planner/ recipe site on Change 4 Life too. The 12 week plan on nhs choices is awesome because it sets you really achievable goals that aren't all food related. It can even email you a shopping list. And I have found that ordering online shopping is better for me. But I feel so much better already and doing a little bit of excersize actually gives me more energy! I try to remember that when it's rainy and dark outside and I am not perfect but having that goal of standing on top of snowdon watching the sun rise and thinking of my dad spurs me on.

[dawn2501 in reply to opensideflanker72]

That's a great incentive to keep you going, my bmi is also 38, which you think would scare me into getting my backside into gear and get on with the healthy eating and exercise, i read all these posts and they inspire me but then when i'm at work or when i'm on my own on an evening it all goes out of the window!!, i need a goal like yourself to keep me motivated.

Good luck with your venture and look forward to updates on here