WHY am I just so low on motivation...?!

[graye83]

Hello all! I desperately want to lose weight but my mind set is just awful. I have done numerous diets over and over again and have been addicted to exercise over the years and for some reason why, in recent years, I have just given up - I feel like I have admitted defeat. Has anyone encountered this type of behaviour before? Did you wait for your breaking point before you did something? I keep thinking my breaking point will come.. and it just isn't!!

[JodiQ]

I'm possibly the last one that should give advise, but for what its worth, I have been on a gluten free diet for 2 weeks now, for the first time in my life , well since 15, cause I started having tummy issues at 16 (diagnosis with an ulcer) in my twenties it was ibs,

My forties, got the kids and working, taking care of a parent, buying my first home, etc, this is when I started packing on the weight, diet, lose 10, then gain 10 , finally the 50's a gallbladder surgery, My love for food... i just kept on until I actually was so miserable, and then the diagnosis of diverticula, this is a very painful condition, Now the lights are on.... I read every diet out there, and because of my belly, i decided to try gluten free, the weight 9pds came off fast, first week, this week 2 pds, I had a lot of water retention, from the diverticulitis attack. I know longer think of food every minute, i am walking 1 mile in the morning and 1 mile in the evening, take my dog and go, every day i made my self go a bit further than the day before, no excuses, no rain, no storm, dress accordingly and just do it, every time I came back home I was proud of myself, don't know your age but I'm almost 60, never to late, wish I would of got off my butt a long time ago, just check with your dr, to be sure you are healthy, just eat a good breakfast reasonable lunch, and very light dinner at least 3 hours before bed, you got to move, look into getting a juicer, to juice, so you can get more energy. You already started by reaching out. I wish you well, keep us posted on what you decide. I also switch to coconut oil, read up on the benefits, use only virgin coconut oil, unrefined, its better for you. water with lemon in the am is a good way to start your day, very beneficial to losing weight, stay hydrated, hope this helps you some. Good Luck!

[graye83 in reply to JodiQ]

Hello!! this is very good advice.. some very good points to think about....!!! Good luck in your quest to better diet and exercise!

[Divided]

You say you became addicted to exercise. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality? I have to say I don't. I don't drink, I don't smoke, my only vice until recently was overeating and sugar. Two weeks ago I decided to kick the sugar habit. If you look at the question next to you on the board you'll see I also changed the way I look at fat. I'm quite sure I was addicted to sugar and carbs. I'm still having trouble giving carbs up but am giving myself time as it's such an ingrained habit. My mum is a nurse so I grew up following the recommended food triangle and it's hard to alter my thinking, but I'm doing it. Question whether you need to treat any issues with food like an addiction. It's surprising what you can be addicted to. Also, think about whose diets you've been following. I happen to think the individual can develop their own best diet with the right information.

[graye83 in reply to Divided]

I think as an overeater, I think that might somehow makes me someone with an addictive personality. The point about sugars is VERY interesting, today I had a reasonable amount of food and I was offered a small block of fudge and I was reaching for everything insight. I think what I might need to do is keep a food diary and see what happens - I need to almost be shocked into making change.

[graye83 in reply to Divided]

Thank you by the way!

[lakesfan]

you can y do too much exercise. I used to do a lot of cycling etc. I just ended up eating loads and being knackered. Am losing wt steadily now. 30 mins jog 3 x weekly. 2 half hour swimming sessions and wts once a week. On top of that i keep myself busy with activities of daily living. eat approx 1800 cals a day and feel ok. slow and steady. one other problem i had was night eating which i have stopped at last. you will find your own way. hope i have been of use. anything else i can help with just ask

[graye83 in reply to lakesfan]

Thank you very much!!! This seems so straight forward and realistic. My issue is food. I really do love exercise, but need to be very realistic about the things I eat.

[SimonPrice33]

i had a similar point put to me by one of my friends recently about being low on motivation.

there are several factors that could be in play, hows the diet? are you able to do exercise, do you want to do execise...

what is the motivation for you to want to lose weight and whats the thing that holds you back \ de-motivates you..

we can all offer advice and say you should do this, you should do that, but unil you can answer the line above to yourself honestly youll stay stuck...

my friend now in the gym 3 times a week she loves it... and loves the transformations.

how i got her to do it was to write a food diary and set a target

good luck

[graye83 in reply to SimonPrice33]

Hi! Thank you very much for advice. Again, I think I have to change my way of thinking - asking to questions above aren't coming very easily! Especially the bit about de- motivation. I think it might be that idea of failing and in very strange way being venerable. Being a wee bit bigger you can almost hide and be ignored a little bit... maybe I am scared of being noticed! Very good advice and points.

[SimonPrice33 in reply to graye83]

Another of my friends, when he started in the gym he was just under 19stone, and there are others who are bigger than him.

theres nothing to be affraid of in terms of being noticed, everyone where i go simply focuses on themselves and helping others who ask for help and advice.

but the biggest and best thing is if we do notice a guy whos a 'wee bit bigger' we applaud them (not publicly, but hopefully you get what i mean) and its good to see that they are taking responsibility and taking the necessary steps for the better of their health.

I go to virgin active (no im not rich) because every virgin gym is clean, every virgin gym ive been to everyone (staff and members) will talk to you, help you, leave you alone if you want to be left alone.

It does help to have a gym buddy... but not necessary...

my main driver to get myself into the gym again this year was because i was and to some extent am still suffering with work related stress and depression... but i made a promise to myself

[johnsonfamily38]

I had a similar problem at the end of last year when I reached 16st/100kg. At that weight there is a switch that turns on my one rule - "go to the gym every day". So I do. All other sub-rules, goals and targets come from this. I'm now below 12st/75kg.

Just stick with it to the point of obsession (dedication) and the pounds will drop off.

[graye83 in reply to johnsonfamily38]

Totally hear that!!! Obsession (for me) isn't necessarily a good thing, but I do think you are right in a way. Good luck to you and WELL done on your weight loss!!!!

[HannahP30]

What are the benefits of you being unhealthy/overweight/unfit?

My motivation is also rubbish, or my will power is.

Your question is one I've been pondering too.

My first problem is my 'all or nothing attitude' - if I slip up on Tuesday then the whole week is ruled out and I have to start again back at week 1 the following week. It's the negative side of perfectionism.

Since I realised this I've been more forgiving on myself and allowed some slip ups and not to write everything off!

There's something about the satisfaction right now this minute outweighing the negative effects in the future for me. Sure I could be fit and healthy - or I could just eat this pizza right now! Not quite figured how to fix this one yet!

[graye83 in reply to HannahP30]

Same boat, you and I!!! It feel like limbo. Such a strange place... thanks for you share, it feels good to know its not just me!!! I really do need (for health reasons and vain ones) to loose this extra junk. It just isn't healthy!!

[SimonPrice33 in reply to HannahP30]

what if you changed that thought process of all or nothing... from a big goal like a week, to a smaller more manageable one like 'one day at a time?'

[HannahP30 in reply to SimonPrice33]

Ahh yes thanks SimonPrice33 I've done this now so managing the 'all or nothing' philosophy.

I'm trying to overcome the denial of instant gratification now

[Penel]

Perhaps it's perfectionism, but you might consider whether or not you have any underlying health problems. Lack of vitamin D or being anaemic can make you feel like crap.

[HannahP30 in reply to Penel]

Yep very good point Penel! My iron is low (I'm a vegetarian) so was often tired and lethargic til I realised this was the problem.

I think it's important not to fixate only on the calories but make sure you're meeting RDA for nutrients too. They really do have an impact.

[sianymerchant]

Read some stuff on emotional eating that could help. Really think this 'bite sized' pardon the pun chunks of exercise , reducing sugar etc makes things more manageable for me and stops me getting overwhelmed by it all just being to big and therefore I give up. Journey starting with a single step etc etc...

[westonmill]

Know how you feel.I have about 8 stone to loose ,I lost 4 last year,but since November put 2 back on,just got in the right frame of mind again so here goes.I have do e day 1 of week 1 on the couch to 5 kl in 10 weeks,I thought a out it for a year,but the downloading tec was beyond d me,Sunday a sat and had a go on my mobile,practiced o. The spot,Monday was a now or never.so I took myself off to the local rugby pitch,nobody there just 2 people throwing a ball to a dog,so off I we t walk and run,I am 64 all my friends say I am trying go kill myself,but I loved it a d off for day 2 today,but they are right it feels like I am killing myself,seriously it was a lot better than I thought.yea you have to push yourself in the hope it will get better,keep at it and it will,o e sure thing if you do t it won't,good luck ,keep in touch