I am due to visit my consultant endocrinologist later this week, and just wondered if anyone had any advice as to how to effectively present my case.
Some background info: I've been hypo for around 8 years, since having my first child. I thought it was being managed successfully with thyroxine, but for almost 2 years now I have felt awful. I spent a long time trying to convince my GP to make a referral for me, and this week will be my 4th appointment with the consultant, spaced 4 months apart. On my first meeting with him, I felt hopeful - he seemed to listen and understand. However, he's been obsessing about suppressing my TSH and has simply been increasing my thyroxine levels each time I visit. But nothing makes me feel better. Rather, I feel increasingly exhausted. If anything, occasionally I feel like I'm slightly over-medicated as I get palpitations, and feel unbearable hot, but still exhausted. Thankfully, my GP tells me my blood test last week finally shows a suppressed TSH.
I now feel very worried about going to the consultant, because I just don't think he will do anything to help me. The last time I was there, he suggested I was depressed (and as I'm a Psychologist, he rather patronisingly offered the cliché: "Physician, heal thyself"). However, I have suffered with depression in the past, and I know this is not the issue now. Yes, I feel very low a lot of the time, as I feel so guilty over the impact this has on my family. But, I manage to keep my life going - I work full time, try to complete work towards qualification on the side, and I have two young kids. I don't have the energy to keep this up - this is sheer willpower keeping me going, because I refuse to give up. If I was depressed, I don't think I would be able to access that willpower. But, I'm worried about my visit, because I know I find it more difficult these days to assert and explain myself, and I often end up tearful (therefore looking 'depressed').
My personal opinion, after doing all sorts of reading (much to the consultant's irritation) is that T4 meds do not work for me, and I don't imagine this will change? I would like to try alternatives, but I don't know if I'm fighting a losing battle - will he ever agree to this / is he allowed to? Should I just try to buy an alternative online? This option worries me a little as I don't want to start experimenting with my own meds without medical supervision, but to be honest I would try anything.
I apologise for babbling - I'm sure everyone will empathise with an unfocussed mind. Basically, does anyone have any suggestions of how to use my consultant appointment effectively, and not come out feeling fobbed off yet again? Or would I be better to just go it alone?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my post. Any replies would be very much appreciated.