I have had a good few months but my IBS-D has flared up again. A lot of explosive toileting, mucus and wet smelly farts. I was hoping that the government would ban family get togethers as it is easier to manage at home.
As it is I will need to go padded for most of Christmas to avoid embarrassment. My partner is used to it but no-one else knows. I will have to wear Tena pants all the time in case I fart. And I'll be sleeping in nappies. I usually sleep in the spare room when it is bad but we will be sleeping together in my childhood bedroom. Whilst I am kind of used to wearing them now, I still get embarrassed when he sees me in them. And I will have to find a way to dispose of them discreetly.
Just when I thought I had got used to going padded, I feel bad about it all over again. What makes it worse is that I have history with Mum over it. In my early teens I was very ill and bedridden for a bit, and she put me in pads to avoid accidents. It was a shame that dogged me for years.
Sorry just needed to let it out.
Written by
WellySam
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I totally understand. I just don't want to do Christmas. I just want to sit at home feeling shit on my own or with my husband. I don't want to be around anyone else, feigning happiness!
I know exactly how you feel, I have been doing it for 35 years and I just don't want to do it anymore. Is it possible to explain to them how you feel? My son know's how I feel because I brought him up but he left home over 10 years ago and I guess he can't remember what life was like living at home with this crazy women who lives in toilet!
I don't like my family to know that I an unwell. In my teens I was very ill for ages and I think Mum used it to control me. So I keep them and her away from all that now
Don't go then, make an excuse. Or, say you just want to spend Christmas with your partner! But I can talk, I still feel I have to do things, I'm not comfortable with!
WellySam, Your post has touched me. I wish you were not going through this. I would say to stay away also, but also understand how hard that is. I hope I am not over stepping, but I am sensing that you would feel guilt and stress over that especially if your mum controlled you over your illness. That breaks my heart for you. You will be in my thoughts and especially during the holidays.
I know exactly how you feel & can sympathise. I very sadly lost my wonderful husband a short time ago & my son has invited me to stay with him & his family over Christmas. His wife’s family will be there as well. Like you I wear pads & am worrying myself sick about disposal etc. I can’t turn down the invitation as he doesn’t want me to be on my own over Christmas. I have got a packet of scented nappy sacks which I’m hoping will get me through. I even worry about using their bathroom . He knows I have severe IBS but not about the pads. It’s of some comfort to know I’m not alone in having this problem. Thinking of fellow sufferers.
Good morning Welly SamCompletely understand your anxiety as I too use to avoid going away for Xmas. This was due to a woman's prob and not my current IBS probs. The couple of times I had to go to the in laws who live 100 miles away I took the following-one sheet, two large scented disposal bags, pot pourri toilet spray, double the amount of knickers for 2 days, pain meds and of course my understanding hubby. Do hope you get through Xmas having an understanding partner does help ease the anxiety🎄🤞
I think your worry of going away is probably not helping your problems with your stomach. It happens to me too. I often watch people having a good time and I can honestly say I am jealous. I often think what is it like just to go somewhere without thinking "what if" It's your Christmas too. If you really don't want to go tell them you have "upset stomach" they will probably think its a bug.
If you do go and get through it OK, give yourself a big pat on the back. Take care and I wish you all the best x
I feel your pain. I have the same dilemma year after year at Christmas. Last year for me was a reprieve not being allowed to mix. This year my eldest granddaughter has invited me (she knows all about my IBS as her other half also suffers from it) but I still worry about leaving home. Another granddaughter who is staying with in-laws over Christmas has asked IF I am staying at home could I have her dog for a couple of days. Yipee I will now stay at home & eldest gdau is fine with this & will bring me a Christmas meal. Wish you all the best for Christmas.
Hi WellySam, I also really feel for you (& all of us) I've been on this site around 6 mths to a year and it really helps to know I'm not the only one that has to wear pads after a flare up. It does make me feel really unclean although it's not my fault (or anyones). It's a good idea to pack the scented nappy sacks, I now have some and am going to pack them, I would have forgotten if I'd not read your post as I've been better for the past two weeks. I always take Imodium when it's bad and it does eventually bung me up & then I'm OK (apart from the discharge) for a few days. I'm only away for Christmas Day & Boxing Day so hopefully it will be OK. I'm really looking forward to seeing my grown up kids (who we are staying with). I have thought of taking Imodium tomorrow night (Christmas Eve). Has anyone tried taking it the day before to see if it stops an attack the next morning? I hope you do have a good Christmas, if you do go wear your pads and perfume & try and enjoy. All the best
I take half an immodium if my gut is processing food too quickly and then I can have loose stool, many bathroom trips, and soiled underwear. The Immodium usually works, and it's a godsend. I don't take too much because it makes me constipated and then that's another problem. It's all a question of management for me and watching what I eat. I usually take the half tablet every 3-4 days and it slows things down. So I’d definitely take it before an event. People take it the night before travelling too.
I keep my problems private from my partner and family as much as possible, which is another stress for me. WellySam is better off that way as she is open about it with her partner.
Yes I have gotten into the habit of taking immodium the day before any event. I take one the evening before and then another quick dissolve in the morning and have found I can enjoy most occasions with little to no difficulty.
Hi WellySam, your situation is heartbreaking. I understand what its like to worry about visiting a different home and bathroom comfort. How private is the bathroom?how often can I go without people noticing? Can I conceal the “supplies” and worst of all will I have an accident? I wish you all the best. If I were you I'd try to stay home if your digestion is in a bad flare-up.
Hi WellySam, You have not said for how long you are staying with your parents for; if it is just one (or two) nights then go with all the preparations you have mentioned and try to enjoy it all as best you can. You clearly have an understanding partner - which is a great help. However, if you are meant to be staying a few nights and your issues are causing you more anxiety then see through Christmas and then come home. That way, you have not upset anyone; also, as Covid is so rife, I think many may use the excuse 'I am beginning to feel unwell' to get home a day or two early! I (like you) have been through Tena's entire range...no one wants to be having a flare at this time of year - I am having one also. I hope you enjoy your Christmas nonetheless x
Hi sam. I also have been suffering with this issue for the last year half. All started with bad gas and explosive watery mucus. Here i am a year half later and it happens every few weeks to me. I feel a need to pass gas but its jelly. Ive had stool tests. FIT tests. Bloods. Ultra sound of stomach. Nothing. They wont send me for a colonoscopy because no blood or weight loss. But this has made me depressed and fed up with life to be frank. When it starts on me it can last 24 hrs then clear up. Its smelly clear or yellow mucus. I thought i was the only one suffering this nut obviously im not. No one knows whats wrong. Im 50 also. Feel ok otherwise but it just won't go away. Im scared to pass wind incase its wet. What a way to live. Doctors say ibs or ibd but no one knows. I take 1 loperamide daily to control the diarrhea side of it and that seems to work but i know the wet flatulance will come back with a vengeance
I am so very sorry you have to go through this again. I hope this flare up disappears soon. I have to put a pad down on top of the sheets and wear huge pads. It is awful. Sending hugs your way.
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Ampitryplene IBS 
I've had IBS for 11 years now..
