I feel I let everyone down

[SunnyK]

Hi,

New to this community.

I have celiac disease and an abundance of symptoms that relate to nothing. Extreme fatigue, plantar fascitis, chronic anal fissure, constipation but then diarreah during my period, eye floaters, pains in my abdomen that take my breath away, lots of wind, out of breath and find it hard to exercise plus weight gain.

I am b12 borderline, low folate, low vit d, I adhere to my gluten free diet (the doctor checked) calprotectin 99.

Nhs doctor thinks I'm normal and so my private doctor is administering b12 injections weekly instead. Paid for obviously.

The reason I am posting is because I am at a loss. Ive had to have an interruption of studies at uni. Today I had a talk with my employer because I'm always at work in pain and tired. They are revising my hours but ultimately I feel like they don't want me because I'm stuck with this horrible invisible condition that no one understands. I'm trying everyday to keep going. I don't know where to turn and wish I did not have to do anything anymore because I can't keep up and everything is a constant struggle. I wish I could just live away from everyone in the middle of no where.

Does anyone else feel like this and how do you cope with always been the ill one.

Sorry for being negative, I'm having one of those moments of despair.

S

[JackoI]

Without wishing to be down, many symptoms follow on from IBS like symptoms, as a result of it I now have anxiety issues that leach into my relationship and also battle depression.

I know it isn't easy but this isn't often a debiliting life long condition. Yes, many live with it for life but I have had IBS for 4 years now and I work 5 days a week doing a manual job as a driver (so, away from toilets) - 2 years ago that was impossible, now it's a daily thing that I don't give a second thought too.

I am on Buscopan and also now Mirtazapine - feel free to Google what that does.

I am not ashamed of it, and no one should be.

If you genuinely feel that this is really getting you down in the dumps, talk to your GP about it - they might suggest talking therapies or antidepressant drugs - some of which also sooth the muscles in the bowels as well.

Never apologise for being low - depression isn't a choice, just as having IBS isn't either.

Hope you get all the help you deserve.

Best

Jack

[SunnyK in reply to JackoI]

Thanks Jack. I was on sertraline for 3 years but it made me hallucinate. They are very quick to supply these rather than sort out my gastro problems.

I feel I have a long road ahead of me but I don't know how my current commitments are going to last.

I hate letting people down, although I've had a few mornings off and one day. Not many but their concern is they need commitment and they don't know how I'm going to feel when I'm working. Even though i get the job done and more. I just can't help that so its making me feel like a burden and I just want to runaway so people with energy can get on with their lives.

It's nice to talk to someone about it.

Thanks

[Debbie45]

Hello SunnyK,

I’m so sorry that you are going through a rough time. Firstly well done for taking time out of uni and talking to your employer, you are taking action to improve how you are feeling, and make things manageable. This is a big step to helping you cope with your situation. Uni can be stressful anyhow, without health issues - do you have a counsellor there or tutor you can talk to? University’s usually provide this confidential help to students so have a think about it.

You say your employer is looking at your hours, that is a very positive Step. It is difficult for others including employers to understand what they can’t see. However I doubt that they think you are useless. It may be slightly inconvenient for them but that it not your problem, believe me as a manager you have to deal with stuff like this all the time, so don’t feel bad about asking for what you need. I know what you are dealing with really is horribly debilitating but you really are not alone.

You have put yourself first, that’s brilliant. Keep talking and posting. I hope you feel better soon x

[Jayneelizabeth]

What a terrible business it all is, however, it does seem that millions suffer in one way or another so hopefully the rest of the world catches up eventually to include employment side. As it is hidden illness then naturally we dont generally know who has it and who hasn't.

[Hidden]

Hi there,

Yes I have been there too, many times.

I found that my IBS caused me to isolate myself more and more, because I never knew how I was going to feel. I had to cancel family activities and outings, or just not go - again. I dragged myself through my day at work and probably performed pretty badly.

I had IBS for 25 years, most of that chronic IBS with many different symptoms including extreme fatigue, constipation, bloating, abdominal pain, chemical intolerance, periods of anxiety and depression.

A couple of years ago I set out to crack my chronic IBS code and have now recovered from it. I essentially did this by realising that my doctor did not have the answers I need. I started being open to learning and experimenting - and listening to what my body was trying to tell me.

You may find something on my blog helps you move forward not just with IBS, but with abundance of symptoms that relate to nothing. sickofibs.com/ibs-triggers/...

I would also suggest you check out the article on Sibo and Candida, as this could be relevant: sickofibs.com/ibs-symptoms/...

It's important to remember that you are currently doing your best despite all your challenges, and that takes perseverance and courage.

Alison

[SunnyK in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Alison,

You are very inspiring!

Thanks for further info.

S