Stomach making me feel sad.

[Roc548]

So here I am, after binge eating food to bring on an IBS attack on purpose I feel ashamed of myself.

I've had IBS for years recently started researching about it more and trying to understand the GI tract trying to give myself some purpose trying to turn a negative into a positive.

But my health anxiety is bad at the minute my mum coughs up blood everyday and I want to help her but there's nothing I can do. I'm scared of loosing her, I can't even sleep Corona virus risk has added extra stress as she's vunerable. I can't manage stress I'm a dopamine addict and a procrastinator that's how I've always dealt with it. I do destructive things that affect my health negatively when I'm stressed. I feel ashamed of myself for even seeking attention.

I know people have it a lot worse than me,.and I should be grateful for what I have. I try my.best to be positive then I end up.crashing I'm mentally not strong enough. I've always taken the easy option by procrastinating and not being able to commit to something fully.

I would.love to use this time to do something positive to better myself instead of just loving the idea. I try to excersize, eat healthy, I don't feel comfortable in my skin I feel.like a failure .

Always blame it on the gut, oh stomach feels bad so I can't do this today etc. Always been my life but really I'm.not mentally focused I'm a addicted to instant gratification it's the reason I don't do anything I just get into a vicious cycle.

Yeah sorry just had to.gdt this off my chest.

[Hidden]

don't know where you live but am sad your mother is so ill but has had no medicine for her chest. I had a chest infection where I coughed up blood and

was treated with antibiotics, that was before this virus appeared. do you have

a medical centre o access as you must be distraught to try and induce ibs attack.

if you had the reassurance you were able to help with meds and caring it would make it easier for you. do you live in the united states.

[Roc548 in reply to Hidden]

Hi she has chronic bronchiectasis, and a pseudomonas aeruginosa bacteria infection in her lungs. Been working with a dietician to make her better after 30 years of being prescribed antacids, antibiotics and steroids. Trying to build up her immune system naturally now this killer virus is scary. I know it's best to not think about it and watch the news etc but I'm trying to to keep it together I find it hard I'm from the UK.

[asbayford]

You are very self aware, one thing I've been trying to do (which works) is for every negative thought, think of 3 positive thoughts to replace it. After a while becomes second nature. Everything starts with a thought, which then starts as a feeling, which then ends with an action.

Change your thoughts, so your feelings change and in turn your actions will follow

Sending all my love to you and your mum, you are stronger than you think!

[Jumpey]

Please don't feel ashamed of your patterns. Shame is probably the root of your issues.Not feeling good enough. Difficult experiences can lead to.such feelings.

I think it would be a good idea if you could access some telephone or online therapy to support you during covid .

And it sounds as though your mother needs medical help.Anxiety about a lo ed one coughing blood is normal.

Sending love. X

[Kitten-whiskers]

I am so sorry your feeling so low, please don't feel ashamed, you really are not alone.

So sorry your mum is so poorly, that must be very difficult indeed.

Have you looked into boosting your self esteem, you sound like maybe your stuck in a rut, or maybe some of it is habit. Also trying to find different ways of dealing with stress may help, lots of little changes amount to a big change in the long run

Best wishes

Debs