Trying to find positive self.

[Becca65]

I haven’t posted for a bit, I had been struggling so hard with depression and loneliness I’m afraid I was just giving up on life. It took my sister telling me she was beginning to dread hearing the text notification or seeing my name calling. So trying to get back to me and start being alive again. Photo was at son’s wedding October 12, 2019 and is of myself and my granddaughter Lexi Rae

[Justme153]

Hi Becca I hope you can shake the Depression if you can't please get some help. I am sorry your sister was so blunt to you. I can tell you from experience that she doesn't understand depression and that is why she said it. My mom was suffering from depression my sister and I didn't understand we thought she was just being winney and we said the same thing to each other. I dread seeing her name come up on caller I D . We feel so bad now that we are educated in depression and wish we could go back and change how we acted. Your granddaughter is Beautiful you need to get help not just for yourself but so that you can be the Best Grandmother EVER!!!! Show Lexi that even a strong person like yourself sometimes need to ask for help and that it's OK!!!

[4awinner]

Hi, you can’t give up! Breast cancer is no longer a death sentence unless you allow it to be. In the words of a 3rd grade student at the time of my diagnosis,”You have

to fight.”!🤜🏼

[Hidden]

Hi Becca,

Thanks for sharing such a beautiful photo of you and your precious little granddaughter. I'm sorry to hear that your sister has not been able to encourage and help you in the way you need. It sounds like she does not understand and is having a hard time facing what you are going through. I agree that it might help if you seek professional help with the depression and feelings of loneliness. Or even find a good friend to confide in if you are not ready to speak to a counsellor.

Take care,

Sophie

[Hidden]

It’s so, so difficult having depression. I had it before my diagnosis so it’s been hard. I have had counselling but don’t know if it helps. Download the Dare App. There are some free exercises you can listen to. Exercise is supposed to help. A walk. You do feel so lonely. If you live in UK the McMillan nurses are a good support and are there from 8am to 8pm - 7 days a week. I have also phoned helplines. Some days you can feel suicidal and then you have to think of your family and your lovely grandchild. It ain’t easy. Depression is an illness that, unless you’ve been there no-one understands. Make your Doc your first port of call. It’s difficult but I’m rooting for you. if you are feeling lonely maybe there’s something you could join? I’ve got my first grandchild coming in May and all I can think is will I see it? Your mind can tell you terrible things. Remember depression is a liar.

[hopenowandtomorrow]

What a beautiful picture Becca! I second what so many others have said already. May you find help & hope very soon. Sending long distance hugs 🤗 to you ❤️🙏❤️

[LotusAFlower]

Dear Becca65, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with depression.. I hope you realize how important you are and that you are needed by your sister and beautiful Lexi💕. In life we can’t always choose what happens to us .. be we can choose how we react to it. I’m rooting for you ... sending you warm gentle hugs...

[Sunnydrinking]

Hi

Thanks for sharing such a beautiful picture of you and your granddaughter. I’m sorry to hear you are feeling depressed. Seek help and talk to someone. Be kind to yourself - arrange some small treats & things to look forward to.

Most of all think of your beautiful granddaughter, Lexi Rae & how lucky you are to have each other.

Hope you feel better soon lovely lady.

Jo xx

[Barbteeth]

You look fabulous darling!... I’m an Ab Fab fan!!

Seriously though you’re so pretty and so is your beautiful granddaughter

I’ve been feeling very down in the dumps especially as I’ve just started new medication...I try to meet up with my girlfriends and go to see my horse..swim and go to see movies...anything to get me out and about

I’m anaemic as well which doesn’t help so getting an iron infusion on Wednesday as they do help

It’s not surprising we feel rubbish...it’s bad enough having mbc without the hideous side effects of treatment ....only the ladies on here can really understand so try to forgive your sister who can’t possibly ‘get it’...my husband is just the same...quite heartless sometimes and it upsets me

Try not to be sad

Barb xx

[8576]

Such a lovely picture. Love your dress. And that granddaughter, Wow. You are rich. I have a six year old granddaughter also. So delightful.

You are not alone. We are all here for you and thinking about you. Wishing you well and ready to correspond. Also, there is help at your Oncology unit. You will find others who feel like you do and that is always calming. Tell us how your treatments are going. Wishing you well,

June S.

[Lordmandy]

Beautiful! Get on Amazon and purchase a little book called ”There's No Place Like Hope” today! It is very helpful. They may be temporarily out of stock because I've sent several to my metastatic friends. We have every reason to be positive. There are many meds out there! We are so close to a cure! My and my mbc friend’s mantra is

#livingintothecure! Join us!

[Susan1953 in reply to Lordmandy]

Lisa, It is a great book. Thank you for mine!!!

[LeeannW710]

Hi Becca!

Beautiful photo! I am hoping that you can speak to someone and shift your focus. When you are feeing down, look at your beautiful granddaughter! Hugs!!

[mariootsi]

Becca,

Beautiful photo! I long for the day I become a gramma.

So sorry you are feeling so depressed.

I think we all go through times of feeling depressed and overwhelmed.

I suggest you speak with your onc about an antidepressant and/or a therapist. I find it helps to speak with someone. Hope it works for you. Depression feels like a hole we have to climb out of, but we need a helping hand.

I think our relatives just want us to be ok. I know it gets too hard for them too! Good to have a therapist who is not related to us.

[Paradise43]

Dear Becca. Sad to hear about your depression. You know when people tell you to buck up what they are really saying is how much they love YOU and how angry they are that they can’t fix you. Even through their love they can’t really understand how you are feeling deep in your soul. I try to find one thing each day. Today two tiny finches came to pick through my pear tree. Winter and dreary but the pair made smile. Coming back is a slow steady pace. Let meds and others help. I’m a widow and understand the loneliness of depression. But my granddaughter of 6 is a stitch and she pulls me back. Lucky to have those little angels too. Many are sending you good feelings dearie. Hugs too. Gather them in.

[Red71]

What a beautiful picture of you and your granddaughter. I’m glad your sister was able to mention her feelings to you. Sometimes the ones that love us most don’t say anything because they are afraid of rupturing the connection you have, but they are the ones that know us best and are in the best place to say something to get us off our pity party, whether it be a short term thing or a long term depression. If you are able to deal with it yourself, great, but if not get help. Do it for that beautiful granddaughter, show her what being a determined woman is like! And do it for yourself, so that you can enjoy each day. Elaine

[Hidden]

You both look lovely in the picture. ❤️

I have struggled with depression my whole life and my cancer has made it worse. My family doctor has played with my meds and they are the only thing keeping me functioning (and I’m not very active). Perhaps antidepressants would help. I’m sorry that your sister feels this way about your contacting her. Others do not understand how you feel 😞

[Becca65]

Ladies I have suffered from depression since I can remember. I was diagnosed in1993 and have been on meds ever since then. I am taking 150 mg Venlafaxine a day I recently added cinnamon capsules and find they actually help and cinnamon is good for you. Being single through the last decade and dealing with so much loss etc has just gotten overwhelming. I am a people person and have not been allowing people in for several years because for some time I felt when you loved someone they died or left you when you needed them. So it’s sort of my own fault. I love my sister she has the right to protect herself, so yes it hurt but I am grateful she said something. I was driving away the few people I have left in my life (they all live from 1-1/2 - 21 hours away). I really need local friends and would actually love to find a guy. I never made friends easily, but at this time I am totally at a loss as to how to do. It is so different now that I am older and well I wonder if people will be open to bringing a stage 4 friend into their lives - let alone finding a man who will open his heart. I have made online friends but you all know that is different. I need people to do things with even if it’s just hanging out. So lonely and isolated even here, not one person has cancer in the same way I do - mets to peritonuem only. When someone does have peritoneal mets they have multiple other mets and well to put it gently they seem to disappear within a couple months. How do I reconnect ladies? How do I learn to live again?