Just three years ago, I had small stage 1 cancer followed by lumpectomy and radiation. All was done so it would not return. About six months ago, it was back and crazy. I'm now taking Ibrance and Anastrozole. It has been difficult, but fortunately, I'm tolerating the medication quite well. Now the real kicker, my daughter is a cancer survivor. She had a diagnosis thirteen years ago, double mastectomy, chemo and radiation. She has done very well until she got a terrible backache about a month ago. She finally saw her Oncologist, just to rule out any return of cancer. Well, it's back, in her spine and liver. So, we have both been hit with recurrence within just a few months of each other. What is all this???? My prayers are that it can be managed and that she still will have quality in her life.
Hoping for the best.: Just three years... - SHARE Metastatic ...
Hoping for the best.
It is devastating when we get this news. To have to deal with your daughter’s illness is something I cannot even begin to imagine. I hope you have oncologists you trust and feel very comfortable with. There are new meds even in the past 10 years that work well for lots of women. I’ve heard of women getting liver tumors ablated. If there are ways to reduce other stress in your lives, please consider the options. You mentioned prayer, so I am assuming that you have a belief in a higher power. Now is the time to tap into that big time. I meditate. anything to create a circle of calm and centeredness that you can turn to on a regular basis to deal with your stress and fear. I hope you both have the support of loved ones who can lift your load and help you on this path. I never really questioned “why me,”. Although I was stunned it was me. I am trying to learn to ride this wave and still enjoy my life. In some ways, my life is better than ever. This disease forced me to confront myself and my assumptions and my way of being in the world. I wish it didn’t take cancer to gain a bit of wisdom and peace. I am 5 years in with Mets to both lungs. Right now my scans are great. I am hoping for many more years of stable disease and I pray that you and your daughter will have the same good fortune. I turn to certain “role models” to help me cope. Check out Kris Carr’s website. She also has a Stage 4 cancer. Lots of good stuff there. If you need to talk to someone, SHARE has a hotline in the US that will match you up with a woman in your clinical situation. I’ve called it about 3 times when I hit rock bottom. 🙏💕
Thank you so much. Such a help. I seemed to have been able to deal with my diagnosis much better than hers. I just want to make it go away.
Great info! Thanks for sharing! I’m just now waiting for a call regarding my PET scan from last Friday! Faith is a real gift for all of us! Please pray for some good results! It sure is nerve racking! God is good!
Wishing you the best. When you have faith, you are not alone. It is nerve racking.
You are such a treasure!! Always such wonderful words of wisdom! God bless you! XXOO Linda
I’ll quote you! Thanks. I’m really not wise just battle weary.
Well, your battles and your words have helped all of us to look at this dreaded disease with hope!! XXOO Linda
Hi Mildred,
It is hard enough dealing with a personal diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer, but to also learn that your daughter has the same diagnosis must be devastating. I would give you both a big hug if I could. Do you have the same oncologist, or do you see different doctors? Do any of your appointments or treatments overlap? If so, I would support each other as much as you can with appointments, treatment and so on. How are you both adjusting to the news? I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer de novo, so I didn't go through treatment, finish it, just to find out it had returned later on. It must be very hard when you think you are cured to then have to go through it all again.
This site is a very supportive place to be where you can receive support, vent, and ask for advice. I hope that you will continue to reach out and find some relief from your disease and your daughter's disease. Perhaps she can also join if she has not already done so. I wish you both all the very best.
Sophie
We do have the same Oncologist and have a great deal of respect for her. My daughter just learned of her new diagnosis. She already started chemo. That evening, she got a call that she was dehydrated and to go to the hospital emergency. They started hydration and two days later, she is still there. Just need to get the pain in her back under control. Not sure what the ultimate treatment plan will be. Thanks so much for your encouragement. I will tell here about this group.
I'm glad you have the same oncologist. I imagine if you give permission your oncologist will share information with you both if you cannot make it to each other's appointments. I have zometa infusions every 12 weeks to deal with a couple of spots on my spine. Maybe that will be an option for your daughter too. Or palliative radiotherapy. I had that as well and that really helped. Now I no longer have back pain, apart from when I have overdone things and my back starts to ache. I hope your daughter will soon be discharged from the hospital and have a definite treatment plan in place. I found that once I got going with treatment and knew what to expect that I could plan for it, and a lot of my worries went away. It's the not knowing and the waiting that I found the hardest thing to deal with.
So glad to know we are not alone. We are surrounded by warriors. Thanks sooooo much.
I am so sorry. I realise this doesn't help but I can't imagine the added stress to your life. I pray for all people with this horrible disease.
Dear Mildred
I just can’t imagine the hell you’ve had to endure...I have two daughters and it’s always in the back of my mind if they got bread cancer...but to actually have it happen to you is an unbearable thing and I wish I could be of more comfort to you
Good treatments are here and more to come...your daughters liver lesion ...it may be possible to get rid of it with radiotherapy ... I’m sure your oncologist will investigate this
I wish you both success in the fight of this hideous disease
Barb xx
I am so sorry about what you and your daughter are going through. We are here for you to help in any way we can. I hope and pray that you and your daughter will get through this.
Aunt Mildred, I am so sorry to hear that you and your daughter are both going through this. There are many good treatments today. I have you both in my heart and prayers. Blessings, Hannah
Dear AuntMildred: It’s shocking & overwhelming for the news when it happens to us, but I can’t imagine what it would be like for you & your daughter to have the added fears & stress.
I had Stage 3 & went through left Masectomy, full chemo & radiation 2.5 years ago. Then in 2018 I had leg pain that wouldn’t go away. Turns out I had a tumor in my left pelvis bone. Dx Stage 4 in April 2019. I am beginning to believe breast cancer is a chronic disease from the first diagnoses because it seems it comes back, sooner or later, after we have “survived” it the first time for a good majority of women. However, if we were told this during our first Dx, my guess is most of us wouldn’t fight so hard to get through it & have the hope we did.
Either way, I am thankful that we have new treatments that give us longer lives & a higher quality of life then women did 5+ years ago. Praying for a cure!
You & your daughter are in my thoughts & prayers. ❤️🙏❤️
These replies are so uplifting. We are all in a fight. We have to stay optimistic, because if we don't, we give it an edge. Thank you so much.
Oh Mildred. That's so aweful. Damn cancer!
I pray that you and your daughter will support each other and receive healing.
It is hard enough to have mbc without seeing your daughter go through cancer again. But it sounds like you both have a good onc who can put together a treatment plan for you both.
Love and hugs,
Marianne
It’s hurts so bad to have to see your daughter suffering too! It’s somewhat harder than having to bear it for yourself! My daughter is presently suffering from advanced Lyme disease coupled with a co infection so it’s constant pain in feet, hands, head. While it not life threatening, it becomes chronic and not any real cure! We all have these terrible crosses to bear and only with love and support from loved ones and a higher power are we going to be able to cope! God bless you and your daughter and I can only hope that somehow she will be out of pain and that she can receive a cure! This is the HOPE for all of us ! God bless us all❤️
Thank you. We just want to put a band-aid on it and make it go away.
Amen, my friend!
Aunt Mildred,
So very sorry to read your post. I can't even imagine your grief and anxiety--just for your daughter alone.
Have the two of you been directed to genetic testing; it sounds as if there are some amazing targeted therapies out there for those who are found to have a genetic link to this disease. I have two sisters, one of whom is my twin, and all three of us have had breast cancer diagnoses with three different treatment programs (all three cancer profiles were different.) I am the unluckiest one who was diagnosed with MBC, after it lay dormant for 17 years!!
My sisters and I have had genetic testing done twice; and no link was found. My oncologist said that it is likely because our link has not yet been discovered, but that there is undoubtedly a link. I hope that, if you are tested, you and your daughter may be among the lucky ones for whom your link has been established.
God bless and take care of you and your beloved daughter. You are in my heart and prayers!! XXOO Linda in Seattle
Before MBC we had the genetics test and told no link. But . . . seems, very unusual to have this happen as it has. Thanks so much for your support. It's crazy how it can lay dormant for so many years. We just can't take our health for granted.
Mom has stage 4 mbc. looking for hope. 
Bad petscan results 
Nothing working on My Daughters MBC
