Monty at vanessa’s wedding

[Barbteeth]

Teddielotti

This is a pic of Monty at vanessa’s wedding...Miranda is the bridesmaid and there’s me giving Monty some fizz

[Hidden]

Hi Barb,

Thanks for sharing this picture. Monty is a handsome horse and all of you look lovely. You were a glamorous mother of the bride, as I am sure you will be again when Miranda gets married.

Sophie ❤

[Barbteeth in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Sophie

Makes me a bit sad though looking at that photo...it was about six months before my mbc diagnosis...I was so happy...little did I know how life was to change....this wedding coming up will be different because everyone knows what’s wrong with me and it breaks my heart

Monty is such a lovely horse and he behaved beautifully...Bugsy would have been a nightmare!!! He’s a bit spooky!...so he wasn’t invited lol

Barb xx

[Hidden in reply to Barbteeth]

Hi Barb,

I know just what you mean. I sometimes look back at pictures taken months before my diagnosis too, when I was a happy, carefree 30-something woman, oblivious to what was coming up. But I also look at pictures taken afterwards and then think to myself this was taken after my biopsies, this was taken when I was feeling weak, this was from when I had my last period and was feeling grotty but still pushing myself to enjoy a day out at the beach, and this was when I had turned a corner and felt better. Do you do that too?

Sophie x

[Barbteeth in reply to Hidden]

I do...and it upsets me...especially when I was being daft with my friends...I can never ever feel like that again...the old me doesn’t exist any more and I don’t like the new me

Barb xx

[Hidden in reply to Barbteeth]

Oh, Barb. This is a hard disease to deal with, it really is. We go through a grieving process when this all kicks off. At least, I did. I had to grieve the loss of the old me and get used to what I am now. I didn't know you pre-diagnosis, but I do know you are a lovely, kind, caring soul now.

Sophie x

[Barbteeth in reply to Hidden]

Yes I know exactly what you mean...we really do mourn our pre mbc life...and we’ll never be the same again but I guess we’ll just deal with whatever happens now and in the future....yes the future!!!

Barb xx

[Hidden in reply to Barbteeth]

That's how we should all feel, planning for the future. Just look at how metastatic cancer is treated now compared to twenty or thirty years ago. It's no longer an imminent death sentence. We can live for many years. That's what my goal is. x

[Barbteeth in reply to Hidden]

Mine is but I find it difficult to be as positive as you are

Barb xx

[Hidden in reply to Barbteeth]

It isn't easy, that's for sure, Barb. I still find it hard whenever a friend who has recovered from primary breast cancer approaches me and tells me how well she is doing. I want to be in that position too. But then I think of all the positive things going on in my life and that really helps.

[mariootsi in reply to Barbteeth]

I feel the same Barb.

[Teddielottie]

Gorgeous happy pic! ...just love it 🥰 x

[Barbteeth in reply to Teddielottie]

I put it on here for you as we were discussing our animals and I thought you’d like to see Montys photo at vanessa’s wedding...he is family after all and we all have ridden him...Miranda used to showjump him..I took him hunting (no foxes killed I promise...this was after the ban on fox hunting) and now vanessa rides him...he’s very spoilt!!!

Barb xx

[Teddielottie in reply to Barbteeth]

Thanks Barb ... we do love our furry friends... some more furry than others! 😂

I have only just learnt how to add a photo on this site... so have added one of Teddie and one of the Rocketman Russian sage , planted in his memory . X

[Barbteeth]

He loved it!!... was Prosecco though..were not that posh!!

Barb xx

[Hidden]

I bet you will look just as amazing in photos of the next wedding. xx

[Barbteeth in reply to Hidden]

Afraid not ☹️

Barb xx

[Hidden in reply to Barbteeth]

We will see! As long as you enjoy the day with your family xxx

[Evaf]

Great photo! I am sure you will look just as gorgeous at your next wedding. I know what you mean about mourning your old self. It is a bit hard sometimes but it makes me happy to do the same things I did pre-diagnosis but being healthier, more relaxed and enjoying the little moments even more.

Eva xx

[Barbteeth in reply to Evaf]

Gosh Eva what a wonderful way to think....what gets me down is that I can’t do what I could before the mbc diagnosis and it makes me mad

I wish you all the best

Barb xx

[Evaw in reply to Barbteeth]

Hi Barb,

I am trying to do the same things I did before, sometimes my back hurts due to previous fractures, but it does not stop me from going to the gym, walks etc.

I really miss my old hair, even though my extensions look great. Always had fine hair but it would feel really thick in comparison to what I have now! I also miss having the ocassional glass of wine, I am on hols at the moment and it's extra hard when going out with friends...

However... I love being super healthy, my skin has never looked better and everybody is telling me I look younger than before diagnosis. Also lost some weight and fit into my pre-children clothes. I feel more relaxed and have more time to spend on things I really like.

So... if life gives you lemons you make lemonade, as they say!

Having this disease sucks but we need to concentrate on the positives and feel grateful for what we have 😊.

You will show them at your next wedding that even with this disease you are still your wonderful, gorgeous self!

Evaxx

[mariootsi]

What a stunning photo! Can't wait to see photos of Mirandas wedding!

[Godbeforme]

Such a beautiful photo! I just love it! <3 xo

[Wintervt]

Love this picture! xo Jade

[Kimr2081]

He is a very handsome guy. All of you look beautiful. I know how you feel about the upcoming wedding. I felt like a zombie at my sons wedding last year. I can hardly remember getting through it and that broke my heart. I was in the middle of a trial and the side effects just kicked my butt. It's hard to look perky and happy when you feel like shit!! I hope you can put this crappy disease aside for the day and bask in the joy!!

Kim

[Barbteeth in reply to Kimr2081]

What a shame Kim...that’s what I’m afraid of...feeling crap...also I’ve never met any of the grooms family so it’ll be a bit strained

Barb xx

[Kimr2081 in reply to Barbteeth]

Yes that might add a little more stress to the day. What day is the wedding Barb and I will make a note to pray for you on that day. Damn, I hate this disease.

Kim

[Barbteeth in reply to Kimr2081]

September 13th...it’s a Friday lol

Barb xx

[Kimr2081 in reply to Barbteeth]

That will be easy to remember. Its the day after my birthday. As crummy as I felt, my son understood and was just happy I could be there. Okay it makes me cry to think about it. They have now given me a beautiful baby boy as a grandson and he brings so much joy to my life.

Take care and be good to yourself.

Kim

[Barbteeth in reply to Kimr2081]

How lovely to have a grandson...I do hope to be around to have a grandchild but I’ll settle for getting through the wedding day without getting too emotional

Thank you for thinking of me..you’re very sweet

Barb xx

[Arkait]

Thanks so much for sharing such a grand photo. The horse is so beautiful and

gentle,

(and the ladies). Life is so beautiful----if short.

I once (1964) paused before

a mirror on a vacation ship, at age 26 , thinking how all this is temporary. I

still see the image to this day. And it was a brief moment. I have more inner

peace today than I did then, ,more of my life's efforts are resolved. But I must say,

the planet is not more peaceful, ,alas. A mixed result, now.

[Hidden]

This is an Awesome picture and you look lovely

[Loriterranova]

Barb thanks for sharing this photo with all of us!!! I'm sure it put a smile on all of our faces. Congrats and your daughters and your precious Monty are all stunning!!!!

With love and hope,

Lori Terranova