Is this common?

[rubyc1234]

Does anyone else find that when these amazing people like John McCain die that you are more emotional about your own status?

[Snowcone16]

Absolutely. And I look at the video replays trying to see signs...if he knew his passing would come or was in denial or..

I choose to believe he didn’t focus on it. As broken record as it sounds, he lived for the moment and for each day. 🤗

[nstonerocks]

Yes. And while I don’t want to get political, and maybe I didn’t agree with everything John McCain ever said, he was a hero in my book and the flag over the White House should be half mast. 7 years of torture as a POW. Life is too short for this kind of pettiness.

[rubyc1234 in reply to nstonerocks]

Incredible that you could surmount all the torture and imprisonment and come back to accomplish what he did. His passing has made me very sad this week.

[nstonerocks in reply to rubyc1234]

Gives my situation a different perspective.

[kit5]

no - it gives me strength to keep on keeping on... life is short. don't dwell on death. reflect on his life and the great things he did accomplish (esp making sure affordable care did not get repealed!) and find a small way to pay tribute to him..(when i hear of someone dying i say an intention for them before i swim...so for mccain, i might say an intention and swim 82 laps...) or plant a flower or hug your kids... but don't let others' deaths take over your daily happy.

[rubyc1234 in reply to kit5]

I try not to let this take away my joy , but I am not good at doing so. Hoping to get better at it.

[kit5]

i worked with an onco-therapist since my original dx in 2013. when you have a cancerous thought...notice it - acknowledge it (even say out loud - "there goes my brain thinking about cancer and dying and trouble ahead")....then make room for it in your head, then engage back in the present moment. NAME - notice, acknowledge, make room for it (it is part of your story...) and then re-engage in the moment. it takes practice but it works. and remember - no one is promised a tomorrow and no one should be trying to predict the future. that is my abbreviated advice that i have been working on for 5 years

[rubyc1234 in reply to kit5]

Thanks Kit.

[Julie2233 in reply to kit5]

Thank you for sharing that

[Mini9045 in reply to kit5]

Hi,

When I was diagnosed at 57 years old the Radiologist said Oh Sh!t. I had no idea that I was sick. I really did not think I would be here 5 1/2 years later!

I have had some friends, that seemed perfectly healthy, die since my diagnosis. That changed my whole outlook. No one knows when their last day might be.

I am annoyed that my hips hurt so bad that I can’t join my friends, family and young grandchildren in any activities that involve walking.

Hip ache, tiredness and now my eyes are watering are my major complaints. If I am sitting down, you can’t even tell that I am sick.

So many people do not understand metastatic BC. Does anyone else get annoyed by that?

Hope you are all doing ok.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Ann

[kit5 in reply to Mini9045]

i tell no one. then nothing to be annoyed by and no having to explain to anyone who will NEVER understand this journey... i did tell a few close friends, my immediate family and one trusted mom for each of my three kids, just in case i have something come up that i need coverage for... i minimize it with my kids - i want their childhood to be theirs - not one with a "sick" mom... and i hate the term "sick"... sick means in bed with fever. we just have cells replicating out of control!! that need to be whacked!!

no one needs to know anything...and people will be bringing my husband a casserole before you know it... people just hear cancer and they think you will be dead soon. it is a chronic condition now... just like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. so much new discovery every day... and look what we learn here from each other!! does advil help with your hips? i have stiffness and joint pain - but i just pop an advil and move on... my eyes water and my nose drips. super irritating! my toes and hands are much better on lower xeloda dose!

happy labor day. breathe!!

[rubyc1234 in reply to Mini9045]

I also believe that many I know who are healthy now may die ahead of me and certainly 14 years ago when first diagnosed that is exactly what happened. I can think of 10 people who were healthy and felt sorry for me and they are all dead and here I am just rediagnosed. Also have just been to my cottage for the weekend and my husband and I were commenting on the fact that so many on the lake have had various forms of cancer and have lived anywhere from 7-15 years after. They are doing well. I am coming to terms with this thing not as a death sentence but as a chronic condition.

[PJBinMI]

Having this cancer has certainly given me a somewhat different perspective on life and death. I have felt a kinship with John McCain that I would not have felt before cancer. Not long after he was diagnosed, and knowing that glioblastoma is considered terminal, I wrote a note to him and sent it to his Arizona office. I, too, see him as heroic, particularly for staying imprisoned with his military buddies rather than allowing the Vietcong to use releasing him for publicity, and have not always agreed with him politically. Though I feel differently than I did before cancer when a well known person is diagnosed with cancer or dies, I am much more personally affected when somebody I know dies! Those mount up as I live with this cancer longer and longer. I like to think that when I die, it will be a bit like entering a cocktail party with friends and that all those I have known who have died will be there to welcome me to the party! And I hope that the grandparents and aunt that died before I was born will be there, with arms outstretched towards me....... I suspect that John McCain will be celebrated there as he has been on earth! He has certainly shown himself to be a man of honor and courage.

[SeattleMom in reply to PJBinMI]

So well said!! 👍❤️

[Rhwright12]

Yes!

It reminds me to keep praying for a cure not just for my own needs...we all need a cure for all cancers! ♥️🙏🏻💕

[kit5 in reply to Rhwright12]

it is fine to pray for what YOU need. no guilt in that!!! you are #1 these days.

[Clair19]

Yes he was a great person and an all around American man. Being a Navy Bratt and my dad was in Vietnam. He flew supplies to the troops and got bombed and lost an engine. He flew cargo planes ✈️.... We lived on Guam unfortunately my Mom got breast cancer at 30. so we had to leave early back to the states. I can’t believe his Mom is 106! He was a great man and will be missed. Remember he had an aggressive brain cancer. Still cancer is cancer. He died 8 years to the day Ted Kennedy died of same cancer. My husband informed me of that.