My name is Lisa and I’m a 48 year old woman from East Boston, MA. I was diagnosed as having metastatic breast cancer (already spread to bone) on May 1 of last year (2018). It was a total shock and it still feels surreal. I already suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety, for which I’ve been in treatment since my early 20’s. I’m not finding this to be a good mixture of diagnoses, as I’m sure many of you can relate.
I’m ER+ and PR+ and HER2-. I started pain management with my PCP, and I think we have finally found a good combo of painkillers.
I have decided to forego any aggressive treatments and just let this disease progress on its own terms. The side effects were awful, the joint pain, fatigue, depression, blurry eyes, memory and concentration issues made me miserable. I just don’t have the strength or desire to fight if I have to feel like that everyday. The treatments I have tried are Tamoxifen, Anastrozole, Letrozole, and Lynparza. Now that I have discontinued treatment, I am feeling better than I have in a long time. I am spending my time volunteering and seeing friends.
My mother is my main caretaker and we are incredibly close. I regularly see my Oncologist, PCP, Psychiatrist, Therapist, Breast Cancer Social Worker and Palliative Care team. I attend a twice monthly Metastatic Cancer Support Group at my hospital and follow many FB groups.
I love to support and get support from others going through this horrible disease. I am always available to talk to others to listen to how they are coping.
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Just saying hello. I have same dx to bones and lungs- on faslodex, ibrance and xygeva. Side effects are manageable right now.
I understand your decision and respect though I may not agree with it. I have had anxiety and depression life long- been on meds for it. There are times it all gets exhausting/ drs treatments, scans, tests. But I am willing to fight and maintain quality of life; my dr knows that’s important to me. I cannot say I would never stop treatment- I thought about it; i don’t know if and when I actually would. I think it takes courage to do what you chose also. Wish you the best
Thank you so much Frances. I know a lot of people don’t agree with my decision and I have been told I’m selfish, but I appreciate you at least supporting me. If I had children, perhaps it would be different, but as a single person it just isn’t worth it to me.
I’m so sorry that you suffer depression and anxiety also. I’ve been on meds for that for years. I tolerate them fine, but the cancer drugs ... I tried my hardest but just couldn’t do it. Even my mother, who has seen me both on the cancer meds and off, respects my decision as she saw how bad it got for me.
I wish you all the best and believe you will get through this and maintain a good quality of life. You sound like a strong woman and I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
The onc want me to take depression pills but I refute. I finally find something that let me sleep and relax me. I slide the ginger root in a few pieces, add cinnamon stick and soursop leaves. I sleep like baby and relax me. I usually deal w the pain bc those pains killer cause other issue. I use it when the pain is too much.
I’m glad you found something that helps you. I believe that you should be able to make your own choices about what you do and do not want to take. I wish you the best!!
You right, but doctor wants to force us sometimes to take some many drugs. I take letrozole and Ibrance but I try to look for natural solutions if I can. I wish you well too.
Thank you and I couldn’t agree more. The doctors have their own agenda and just push drugs at you and then tell you the side effects you are having is not part of the medication. I wish they would just be honest and tell us it’s not going to be easy and that we should try whatever it takes to make it better. ❤️❤️❤️
Dear Lisa, you are remarkably brave and I can see this decision fits in with your history and the depression and anxiety . We are all different of course but I have decided to put up with the horrible scary side effects of chemo and Letrozole mostly it’s about my 4 grown children and ten (!) little grandchildren who are the life force guiding me ,along with joy of friendships old and newish. I send you my respect and affection and all best wishes for some relief from your symptoms .
Thank you Denise! I never had children, mostly because I knew that depression and addiction were so prominent in me that I didn’t want to pass that along to anybody. And I never did find that perfect man to marry, so it’s just me. I have parents and a brother and a small number and aunts, uncles and cousins who I’m very close with and I think they all can understand my decision and seeing how bad it got for me on the cancer treatment. I wish you the best of luck also!!
Thank you for sharing your story. If you're interested in helping others, please consider becoming a volunteer on SHARE's helpline. We are always looking for new volunteers and have a dedicated line for those living with metastatic disease. Please reach out to the Helpline for more information.
Also, please note we do have a metastatic community here on HealthUnlocked.
I would love to be a volunteer!! SHARE was the first hotlines I found after being diagnosed with MBC and I will never forget how helpful they were to me. Is here a specific person I should get in touch with to volunteer?
Hi Vic, I went online to see about becoming a volunteer, but it states that to work on the Helpline, you must be a “survivor” which because I’m Metastatic will never happen for me. I’m very disappointed.
We do make acceptations for those living with metastatic disease. We also have a dedicated metastatic helpline. I'll message you with more information.
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