Hi, I have been recently diagnosed with Stage 3 invasive duct breast cancer that has spread to my lymph nodes. Currently, it is only on my left breast, but after my MRI, they found 2 areas on my right breast that will be biopsied next week. We know that the left side will be a mastectomy but are waiting for results on the right to decide the right course of action for the surgery. If I will have to have a double mastecomy then I am considering reconstruction but am scared. Has anyone done this and have thoughts? Or has anyone just had the surgery where you are flat and your feelings on that?I appreciate having a place to discuss this with women that have been through it! It has been a scary time and everything seems to come at you so fast! There doesn't seem like there is alot of time to process everything.
New breast cancer diagnosis - SHARE Breast Canc...
New breast cancer diagnosis


Hi there. I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Try to hang in there and stay positive during the tumultuous ride you're on. I was diagnosed in February 2024 at 40 years old, with stage 1 invasive ductal in my left breast. I chose a bilateral mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction and am very happy with my decision. I also know many people that have chosen to go flat and are very happy with their decision as well. Every person has to choose what they feel is right for them. As you said, it doesn't feel like there is much time to process and you're faced with so much information and so many decisions to be made. If I could go back and give advice to myself, I would say there's something to be said about your initial feeling. That first feeling you felt when you were faced with a choice. I knew immediately what I wanted to do but spent weeks torturing myself and going back and forth only to go back to my initial thought. Make sure you have done all of your research and consider everything your surgeon says, good and bad. Write it all down and make a pro & con list if that helps. If you have any questions about my experience with the diep flap, I'm happy to answer. I know it is a scary time and my heart goes out to you. Sending you well wishes as you go through the process !
I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this. You're in what I consider possibly the toughest part - the waiting & not knowing. Personally I wouldn't bother with a biopsy I would just do the double mastectomy then you don't have to go through this again because anytime there is some little lump it will scare you all over again & if it comes back in that side you're back to this same situation. I was diagnosed in June of 2022 at age 46. I had always pretty much told myself if I was ever diagnosed I would just do the double mastectomy to save myself a repeat cycle of mammograms and biopsies. I was stage 1B had 12 rounds of chemo, 16 radiation and am now taking the aromatase inhibitor exemestane for 5-10 years. I chose DIEP flap because I didn't like the idea of cold hard implants or the chance of breast implant illness & having surgery to change them out every 10 years or so. I traveled to PRMA in San Antonio from Kansas city because they are extremely experienced with DIEP. I know it feels like you're in a rush and need to move fast but please take your time choosing surgeons and hopefully you're at an NCI designated cancer center. This is a long road, from diagnosis in June of 22 to the final part my final surgery in Feb 24 I felt like it was never going to end. Now it seems to have just gone by really & I can't believe it. There are so many patient groups of women going through the same thing on Facebook and other forums and so much medical information on the Internet it's easy to get overwhelmed researching. My advice is to take little chunks at a time but don't get yourself overwhelmed trying to understand it all too fast. Let yourself find distractions in movies, TV, books, friends, whatever. Your mind needs a rest from thinking about it 24/7. Hang in there. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this
Hi there. I think everyone can relate to the feeling that when you are initially diagnosed, there is so much to process and figure out, that it is indeed incredibly overwhelming. I am someone who underwent a double mastectomy because so many people in my family had breast cancer and then, recurrences when only doing the surgery on one. I opted to go flat. Although scary initially [my scare was I would be feeling less feminine/attractive]. I found I adjusted well, taking each step slowly, and was soon really happy I made the decision to go flat. Now [8 months in], it is something I hardly think about. What was important to me was to get physical therapy as soon as surgery as could be advised. This is because there is a tightness in the chest that one can feel but doing the physical therapy does a great deal to relieve that. I found that there is clothing to address my flatness when I want it, and a freedom I didn't have before when I don't [I feel lighter in my body]. I'm now also grateful that I don't have to get yearly mammograms with all those incessant worries. And when I learned that more people were going flat and getting it done aesthetically [aesthetic flat enclosure] that also gave me confidence. At any rate, know that this period of worry and confusion will pass! Check out "Not Putting On a Shirt" or articles online that address different ethnicity going flat experiences. I wish you the very best!
Greetings Sister/Warrior, and yesssss Thriver😇. I have 1 girlfriend who had one breast removed, and that breast was reconstructed so well that you couldn't tell the difference between which was reconstructed, and which was her natural breast🙃. My cousin had a double mastectomy, but she had nipple tattooing. They looked pretty good. The technology available to make us look, and fell whole is a GOD send. These plastic surgeons are skilled artist😇. Fear not you will come through this and be able to help others in the future☺️. I pray you will have supernatural healing Amen🙏
I opted to go with implants because the DIEP Flap surgery would have delayed the mastectomy by several weeks and I just needed to get the cancer out of my body. One of the implants lasted a year before I experienced capsular contracture. The other implant ruptured four years later. I have been flat since having them both removed in October, and I feel great.
hi there!
Currently going through similar. I’m sorry to hear you are. I didn’t have the lymph nodes but the rest sounds all too familiar. I had a double mastectomy on Jan 30 and immediately started reconstruction. We started with the expanders and will be doing implants. The expanders are rough but I feel will be worth it in the end. It’s all what you think you want/how you feel. For me, I had a hysterectomy when I was in my 30’s and to lose both that and my breasts was just too much. Even though these aren’t “mine”, I needed something.
I will say the expanders, when they do a fill, it feels like when your breastfeeding and stop -when they are so full it hurts - kind of like that. Just to give you an idea of what the feeling is like. They fill them slowly every week or two until your desired size and then wait a few weeks/month. Then do the final surgery to replace the expanders with the implants. So it’s a process. Some do say they will do the implants right away depending on the size you want and if they can (some factors involved there).
Good luck to you.
I had only a single mastectomy and DIEP. The initial stages do feel rushed. I might have gone for the double mastectomy if I had thought things through. Consider that the DIEP surgery can probably only be done once. It may make more sense to reconstruct both breasts when you have the chance, if you are so inclined.
Hello cneal20,
Please be of good heart as others have also urged you to be. It is indeed a frightening time but comfort yourself that your bc has been detected and good treatments are at hand for you.
On the mastectomy issue, I come at it as a 74yr-old so I admit I may have a different perspective. I had a lumpectomy of my right breast in 2008 after IDC and then a second primary (ie different type of breast cancer - lobular) in my left breast in 2022. This one required a mastectomy.
I am petite and I felt having just the one right breast looked odd to me plus I didn't like the silicone prosthesis I first used for the left breast post mastectomy. Yes it matched the weight/shape of my extant right breast but it got hot and felt heavy to me. I didn't opt for reconstruction because I was tired of so much surgery that year and wanted to focus on my recovery. Also, silicone prostheses are expensive here in UK at around £150 each if I recall and they 'perish' after 5 or so years.
In 2023 I decided to have a 'prophylactic' mastectomy of my right breast breast and given the (to me) odd aesthetic too. Plus I learned that it is possible to use 'softies' which are breast-shaped fillers for bras, They can be cotton-covered, are very light but hold their shape. and the filling can be taken out and the covers washed. And they're cheap at maybe £15 each and I guess could last for many years.
I went to a breast-care nurse and she showed me a huge range of softie shapes and colours from which I could choose. But I said I simply wanted 2 'softies' which would match the shape of my right breast before it was removed. Perfect result even with close-fitting winter polo-necks. And of course, all my clothes are already the right shape.
This is not to dissuade you from reconstruction dear cneal20, if that's what you decide to do. But it's to highlight that there is this option available.
Onwards and upwards,
LeoEucalyptus
you and all this is tough. However. Do what u want. Don’t do what anyone else would like you to do or suggest. Your initial choice plays a huge part but you also were on that road to decision making. And u think of you no one else. Your choice. Your choice to live with. The stress and anxiety is very tough. I now wish I had looked more at long range and not been in a hurry to stop it then. I should have looked at full preventive cure not just solve and go on. Then later going thru it again and again and again and still Hopefully yet. So please U make choice. Gook luck. Blessings. Forward. Hugs
I was also diagnosed with Stage 3 in the left breast with lymph node involvement and they kept seeing something in the right (they had been keeping an eye on the right for 15 years, had it biopsied twice). I was told the left breast had to be removed and I decided to have the right one removed also, I didn't want to have to keep worrying about it. I opted for an aesthetic flat enclosure. Initially got some push back from the surgeon about removing the right and not doing reconstruction. I wanted to do a little surgery as possible. I got prothesis but didn't like them, found them uncomfortable. I chose to just be flat. The upside is I don't have to buy bras! Some clothes don't fit as well but there are a lot of options that look great. I agree with the suggestion to check out "Not Putting On a Shirt" . Reconstruction is also an option later on as well. Best wishes, I'm sure you will make the right decision for yourself.
Hi, I had a stage 2b breast cancer Er+ HER2 negative, 25mm, with 2 cancerous lymph nodes, surgery occurred in Feb 23. Treatment was a lumpectomy and total node clearance. Lumpectomy with 5 high dose sessions of radiotherapy is common in the UK, although some choose a mastectomy or a mastectomy may be clinically indicated.
Following surgery I had 6 rounds of chemotherapy (ECT) 3 weekly and commenced IV bisophosphates 6 monthly for 3 years during chemo. The radiotherapy and hormone therapy followed chemo. I’m taking Letrozole for 10 years. Ten weeks after commencing Letrozole I commenced Abemaciclib. This adjuvant treatment is a cdk 4&6 inhibitor which is given for 2 years in high risk her2 negative breast cancer.
This treatment hasn’t been easy but I’m 17 months into the 2 year course of Abemaciclib and I have managed to stay on 150mgs twice a day. I am tolerating the amatrose inhibitor (Letrozole) quite well.
The hardest part of my cancer journey has been psychological. Cancer is a silent starker, It always lurks in the background.