64 yr old single woman. Had double mastectomy.
It’s been 2-yrs since I completed chemo.
I ‘m angry, sad, disappointed, hate my body, I gained a lot of weight, don't exercise or eat well anymore. Am fatigued all the time, depressed, on anti-depressants. Was in some support groups, but found unhelpful after chemo.
Stopped exercising, my clothes don't fit. I eat unhealthy ‘cause I deserve to after what I've been through (now going on 2 years).
What has cancer done to me? Took away my breasts, my hair, my joy, my happy retirement, my personality, my self-esteem related to body image, the probability of never having a relationship, my health, my motivation & desire to get healthy. I am still in discomfort, I hate wearing breast forms. Have considered chest tattoos.
I am not a warrior, I am not brave, I am barely a survivor. I do not give thanks for being alive every day, there is nothing positive about this experience. I learned that cancer sucks and life is harder now.
Where do I go from here?