Paruresis - Shy Bladder Syndrome - Sensitive Issues ...

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Paruresis - Shy Bladder Syndrome

MrJMan profile image
8 Replies

so there's this thing that as a guy you can whip your little man out and just pee! That is unless you suffer with Paruresis, aka shy bladder syndrome....

having dealt with this most of my life... following on from a traumatic event at 14! I find it becoming more of an issue now I'm dating a guy! I feel so awkward. I hate it! Went to my first pride event last year and was mortified at not being able to pee!!! Anyone have any words of wisdom to stop this! I need help...

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MrJMan profile image
MrJMan
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8 Replies
xsevenx profile image
xsevenx

I have the same issue, but that’s because I have an enlarged prostate. Are there any pelvic floor exercises you can do to help your symptoms? Just a thought….

MrJMan profile image
MrJMan in reply to xsevenx

So I've tried pelvic floor and still do them.... I know it's in my head. As far as I know my prostate is ok. Having been checked in the last year as part of my 40 plus health check

Deadman_Walking profile image
Deadman_Walking in reply to MrJMan

This is going to sound gross (probably), but I have trouble going with anyone else in the room. I discovered at some point that if I just picture myself peeing *on* them suddenly I can go. Just my 2c, good luck!

Tedboyg profile image
Tedboyg

Try holding pee to about to burst m8 and do outdoors with thought may be possible that seen building confidence to be around others have been that guy u can chat with me anytime lad

Nick2U profile image
Nick2U

I’ve been there, and until several years ago I thought I was destined to be there forever. Thank you for giving a name to it, other than shy bladder syndrome. I used to stand at the urinal for what seemed like forever as others would easily walk up to urinals on either side of me, pee, flush and go until the last one left to finally enable my bladder to open up, hoping no one else would walk in and stop the flow. Even worse when I could feel one or more waiting for an available urinal. I used to only use the stall toilet to avoid the embarrassment until I finally forced myself to at least try to overcome my fears. Interestingly enough my shy bladder became less of a thing once I came out of the closet in my 50’s, but the things I found worked best was closing my eyes, relaxing as much as possible and listening to the sound of flowing water—either from flushing or others urinating—and slowly yawning. Once I started yawning, things began to open up. In order to relax though, I had to let go of what others might think of the weirdo standing in front of the urinal, and then visualizing myself peeing without effort. At some point my doctor prescribed 8mg of Finasteride (double the usual dosage) for my prostate to help the stream, with an added benefit of making my flaccid penis larger. Occasionally I get nervous again and chuckle to myself and then relax, close my eyes, yawn and let it go. I was fortunate to have a friend next to me for several confidence building sessions at home and smaller restrooms before graduating to massive men’s rooms in a crowded airport or movie theater—talk about passing the final exam, when you can pee there, you can pee anywhere! Best wishes to you.

MrJMan profile image
MrJMan

thank you for sharing

Blindbeggar83 profile image
Blindbeggar83

I’ve had shy bladder syndrome since my late teens. I first noticed it when I’d struggle to use a urinal at school. And then in clubs I’d have to use a cubicle and go sitting down.

Last year I went into hospital as i stopped being able to pee at all…. Total urine retention (need a brain scan, but put it down to extreme anxiety)- was in hospital for 24 hrs but as I couldn’t relax and try to go in the toilets, had a catheter fitted.

What I have found since then, is that if your bladder isn’t relaxed, you’ll never go.

I can go in a cubicle standing up now, and can go outside.

But I think it’s a case of mind over matter.

MrJMan profile image
MrJMan in reply to Blindbeggar83

Thank you I agree!! If I'm in the toilets I can owe at a urinal if they are empty or I have the kids floating about, mainly as I am keeping one eye on them.... when I'm alone and it's busy I can't, sometimes in public loos I can't pee in front of my Bf, but I can at home its daft really!! The football stadium is the worst so I try not to drink

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