Sensitive Issues for Men
1,278 members197 posts

Help? Support? A friend?

So, I'm 21. I'm a wheelchair user. I have serious chronic pain (since birth) in the feet, ankles, legs, knees, hips and lower back. This is caused by permenantly damaged bones and nerves. I also am visually impaired, have asthma, a severe heart problem and a range of metal health problems. I'm not looking for attention. I just want someone who understands you know?

I don't get help for my conditions. They can't put me on most pain killers, it just isn't an option. I always go round on my own, travelling by public transport and everyday I get abuse.

I just can't cope anymore.

I feel like I'm worthless and pointless and hat anything I do will just fail.

I'm at rock bottom. I don't know who else I can talk to. I honestly feel I'd be better off dead.

Is suicide a viable option? Am I less of a man for feeling this way? I feel like I am.

5 Replies

Dear Robin

Reading your post has moved me deeply . . . I can empathise and know where you are coming from. Being able to express your feelings so strongly is itself a great asset.

Small comfort but sharing our sadness and frustration is helpful to ourselves and also to others. Please don't give up - hope is all that most of us have. Others will advise you to fight for better medication and help from the seemingly uncaring system.

Just know that there are others struggling like you - together we have a stronger voice to find some help and solutions to our aflictions.

Affectionate hugs . . . stay safe



My brother/sister, I cannot tell you that "I understand" because it would be a lie. However, I can relate. As a person who was at the point of committing suicide, there is no shame to feeling how you do or having those thoughts. Many people can relate to having reached rock bottom. We are proud, and you should be to, for reaching out and expressing yourself. Even when there seems to be no hope among the dark clouds of the abyss, your reaching out is a powerful statement. If you are in the U.S. please call the National Prevention Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If you feel that there is no other option and are at the point of ending it all, please call this number or an ambulance to pick you up for admittance. It is your voice that will change the world. With proper support, you can come out victorious. To whoever you are, I believe in you and the message has been received loud and clear. In that, you have succeeded and shall continue to succeed in the midst of all the perceived failures. You are the light we need. The world needs you, your message. We need you, I need you.



Hi Robin,

Just want to check in and see how you're doing. You should be really proud of yourself for sharing your situation with the community here, and the replies you received are very well done.

The strength it takes to face your challenges every day, and the fortitude it requires to keep going, make you special. Just remember: At the end of every day, you get extra points in the "real man" category for all the extra work you do. You belong to a unique group of people that get to see the world in ways most people can't imagine.

How is everything?

1 like

Everything is looking up a bit. Still struggling a bit but... That's standard.

It's sometimes quite difficult to see what you have acheived in the face of what you feel you haven't. Ultimately what I have acheived and the hurdles I've jumped to get there mean little most of the time. That's if they get recognition at all.

1 like

Hmm. Well, I'm glad things are looking up. You're right, though: It's definitely hard to see the positive sometimes. Especially when world feels out of control and/or unjust.

Do you know if there's a local group of people with similar circumstances? Meeting people face-to-face who're also dealing with similar challenges can really help brighten the day, even if only for 24 hours. Most places usually have free support groups for all types of random scenarios.

Sometimes it even helps to sit in on random ones, just to see all the different challenges people face and how to overcome them. Believe me, I've been to a bunch. "Everybody's got something," is a quote I THOUGHT I invented, until "Good Morning America's" Robin Roberts said her mom used to say that.

Super lame.

Anyways (sorry)... Volunteering works wonders, too. Science shows: Doing acts of kindness provides a ton of mental health benefits. The only caveat is you have to legitimately do it out of kindness, not expecting anything in return.

When you say you "get abuse," what do you mean? People being jerks?


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