Same gender intimate care for men

One issue with men getting the care they need is finding "Same Gender Intimate Care". Womem have same gender care for breast heath & Gyn issues. Men need the same kind of dignified care for prostate exams, catheters, etc. That's a Major reason 35-45% of men avoid care Its a sea of female care givers. Give men the same dignified care that women presently receive and you will attract those men that are dying on average 7 years earlier than women. Myself & a lot of men I know avoid care due to this problem in medicine. Give men the same respect & dignity women are afforded & you will all of a sudden see men taking better care of their heath. Men are every bit as modest as women. I refuse to go to a Urologist for the care I need due to the entire front desk being staffed by females. Most men don't want to discuss their intimate medical problems with the opposite sex .Women don't have to go through that embarrassment to get a mammogram or a GYN issue resolved. They can discuss all their problems with same gender staff. When it comes time for her procedure she is assured she will have an all same gender team for her comfort. With men even if they go to a male doctor the MA, RN or Technician assisting the male doctor will in 99% of the time be female, where does that leave a modest male. He simply doesn't go for the care he needs due to embarrassment. Please make some "All Male" clinics to men can be comfortable if they desire an all male team. I know myself & A LOT of men I know refuse care till its too late due to embarrassment. We don't treat our female's this way, don't force opposite gender intimate care on men, give them choice in health care. I know a little law, there is a privacy clause in the law that protects patients when it comes to intimate care. Right now the only gender that reaps the benefit of this clause at the present time is women. If you provide this same gender care for women but don't afford the same for men, YOUR DISCRIMINATING.

44 Replies

  • Spot on Lefteddie!

    Exactly right. People forget that not all men find it easy to discuss private matters with women whatever their situation. Whether it be financial, legal, family & in this case medical stuff, many men feel it is easier to open up & speak frankly with another guy. Men have been given a false image of being stiff upper lip and onward & upward when in fact men need reassurance and privacy just as much as women.

    Thanks for raising this issue and hope other men stand up for their rights to be considered if they prefer a same sex consultation/procedure.

  • Christo,

    Men have been staying away from Health Care for years & their health is suffering because of it This is one major issue that gets swept under the rug. The media portrays men as having to have women cajole and force them to go to get treatment The media has come up with every

    thing imaginable as to why men don't take better care of themselves. "Same Gender Intimate Care" is never mentioned. Probably because of the number of female health care workers, 95% female to approximately 5% male.They don't want to bring attention to it because it would mean having to hire more men to even out the gender mix at the cost of female jobs. There are approximately 3200 hospitals in America almost all of them have same gender intimate care for women's Breast health (Mammograms) & GYN issues. They never have to be embarrassed by opposite gender intimate care. Where are these same gender clinics for men for their comfort, they don't exist. You don't have to have a 50/50 gender mix in health care to accommodate men that want same gender intimate care. Hire a few male RN's that when its a request it can be accommodated. Some men would rather have a Male Nurse place a catheter or not be present for a prostate ultra sound. Men have no choice it if they are being treated for prostate cancer & go for radiation therapy. 95% of the technicians that do the placement of the equipment for the therapy while the man is laying there naked from the waist are female. They aren't told this until they are in the area and have to submit to this. I understand its a life saving procedure but come on treat them with the same dignity you would offer a woman. There are BFOQ laws that are explicitly designed for this purpose. To accommodate patients that prefer not to be seen or manipulated by opposite gender care givers. The only ones accommodated by this law are females, which mean men are discriminated against. It won't be long before hospitals will be getting law suits because of not listening to men wanting this care. Its cheaper for them to just force opposite gender intimate care. With nurses & technicians form 95% of the staffing in hospitals they surely don't want to give up their positions of authority so its not going to happen without a lawsuit or the government stepping in. Remember FIRST, DO NO HARM. Forcing this care against those who believe their dignity is compromised is against title V11 BFOQ law. The cold hard facts of this is men die 7 years earlier than women due to embarrassment. These are your fathers, brothers, son's, uncle's & boyfriends.

  • this is true , I had a high psa test and was asked to see a urologist when I went just a male consultant and female nurse in room , had to lay on bed and nurse told me to remove trousers and pants while she just stood there , then consultant come and said turn on side for finger exam . I am unforturlly a grower so found this hard infront of a strange women . after I was told I needed a tust biopsy , hence I didn't go . jon

  • I can sort-of see where you are coming from, but as a chap who has had testicular cancer (and it doesn't get much more 'personal' than that area) I didn't care who saw me...just as long as they knew what they were doing. As is happened it was a male doctor I saw, but I know for a fact that female theatre staff and nurses were present at the time of the operation.

    Many too many men are just too embarrassed to see the doctor, full stop, and use the fact that it is a female doctor as a 'convenient' excuse.

    I would urge ALL men to see the doctor straight away if they are concerned. I can guarantee that the doctor WILL have seen it all before.

  • Sallycycle,

    That's your personal feeling, don't for a minute think all men think like you. That's exactly what hospital staff are counting on when someone like you has to endure a female theater that you will just go with the flow and except it. Not all men OR women can do that, some would rather die that have to submit to the humiliation. AND like I said there are laws exactly for this BFOQ that protect your privacy "Only during intimate care". Many law suits have been filed and won when a patient was forced to endure opposite gender care against their will. I understand the importance of getting care in situations like yours but don't speak for all men. There is a reason men don't take better care of their health and "Opposite gender intimate care" is one of them, a big one. The estimate is 35-45 percent of men don't seek the care they need because of it. It would seem to me if the medical community cared about those men they would change their policies & hire Male RN's & Technicians to accommodate them. It would save more men's lives and make more money for the hospitals. Sallycycle, whenever this topic comes up I say "Switch the Gender roll". If a female were laid out naked from the waist down and required Vaginal surgery would there be an entire male team doing the prep before during & after surgery?

  • Knowing many doctors and nurses I can categorically say that the hospitals don't 'count on' anything. They are professionals doing their job; one that involves long hours doing complex work.

    I'm afraid there will never be a definitive answer to this....but irrespective of any feelings or views, many will suffer in silence, whilst most will not care. I cite my wife when she was giving birth. She didn't care who was in the room, just as long as they could help.

    I wouldn't care if I had an all male or all female group. Why should I? As far as the clinicians are concerned, I am just a patient.

  • Sallycycle,

    I understand your feelings but that's not how a MAJORITY of men forgoing health care feel. Again reverse the rolls, instead of you on that table its a female getting the radiation. I can assure you it wouldn't be an all male team while she's laying exposed for prepping & manipulation of her genitals. Another example which will never happen to make it more clear. All 3200 hospitals in America are staffed by 95% Male Doctors, RN's & Technicians. I can guarantee you this "Opposite gender intimate care issue" would be fixed in no time through affirmative action or the government making change. The NOW group would be demonstrating outside every hospital. Read up on BFOQ laws when it comes to intimate care, it is guaranteed by law for not just females but males also. Hospitals can not force opposite gender care on any patient, but they do it everyday to men. All I'm saying is provide the same dignity of care presently afforded to our female friends. Save those men that are dying 7 years earlier out of embarrassment. The title of this thread is "Sensitive Issues for men" rather that tell all men to "Suck it up" (which would never happen to a female) I'm bringing up an issue that is "SENSITIVE TO MEN". So let's be of help in trying to solve the issue rather than discount it.

  • To be blunt, most men would prefer a female doctor as opposed to a male doctor. I have no preference, just as long as they know what they are doing, and can help.

    I feel that this, as a running forum, may not be the one best best for your campaign.

    Good luck elsewhere.

  • Sallycycle,

    I respectfully disagree with you, I am in the health care field and see this everyday. Female RN's inserting a catheter in a male patient when a male is available but never offering the patient a choice. Same thing in the radiation department. Your wrong about MOST men preferring a female doctor, Nurse, or technician when it comes to intimate care. Yes, some do want opposite gender care but the one's that don't have no choice. We would NEVER tell women "you just have to go with the flow, suck it up & accept opposite gender care for your Mammogram. Let's make an all Male Mammogram clinic and see just how well that works out. Which by the way there are no male Mammogram technicians in America. Walk into any Urology clinic & its a sea of women at the front desk then when you see the male doctor if that's what you choose you will be met by a Female RN or MA or could be the girl down the street helping the doctor. Don't ambush men with Opposite Gender intimate care" give them options & choices like females have. Medicine has been set up with the idea of protecting women's dignity, well men want dignified care too. Where they dropped the ball is they never designed the same dignified care for men and its about time they do. Again like I said, I am responding to the thread's title "SENSITIVE ISSUES FOR MEN". You are in individual and are entitled to your view but believe me there are a huge number of men that DO WANT "SAME GENDER CARE." I am not on a campaign, I'm trying to respond to this threads title with an issue that is never discussed WHY MEN AVOID CARE and "Opposite gender intimate care" is a huge reason. Good for you that you don't mind everyone seeing your naked body, not everyone feels like you.

  • What a great debate. I have sympathies for both sides (is that sitting on the fence!!)

    Loving this new forum. May it go from strength to strength

  • Yes a very good interesting debate all right.

    I had to go to get something checked out in 1998, a lump in the groin area. I went to my local doctor and he checked me out. I got the same thing checked out in 2007. I did feel slightly less comfortable with the female doctor but both tested & gave re-assurance. Both were helpful and offered information & re-assurance.

    This was definitely worth discussing & thanks to all contributors so far.

  • Austin,

    Thank you for providing this forum & the topic.

  • Take a job in healthcare at any large medical center and you will quickly realize there

    exists a tremendous double standard for male patients. The staff bathroom in

    a medical intensive care unit had wallpaper that was full nude male center folds

    from play girl magazine that covered every inch of the bathroom. There were only

    female nurses on that unit. Now imagine for a moment a mammography suite

    that employed only males and their staff bathroom had wallpaper of nude

    centerfold models. Now, you are only imagining this cause male mammographers

    don't exist. There is some serious problems with this issue and has been for too

    many years.

  • Apart from you need some psychiatric help! you want male or female fruit cake team?.your a troll with a problem.

    If i go into hospital or taken there in an ambulance i don't care if there male/female/left/right wing/"commie"!/Facist/KKK or even from mars! but want someone that is at the best of there ability to get me to walk out of there again! simple.

    but you seem to have a hang up/fetish about this.

    you seem to have forgot a few things!!! I'l help you a bit!

    Be it males or females neither wants to give you an enema or stick a catheter up your winky or a bed bath but but guess what it's a job they have trained for giving years of there time to devote to medical care doing long hours often with little sleep dealing with many things from moment step into the place till time they can get out of there?

    So your just number xxx on the conveyor belt of med care there doing the best they can in a very hard/difficult job which can be very stressful for them and more often than not is very!

    so to think because a male and giving you a bath or cathing your winky that they want to butt roger your ring piece i think is rather out of order as there more likely to be thinking oh lord let me get this big lump of lard ar$e outta here so i can go sit down and have a coffee!

    But another thing you forget is that so many of these people also have children of there own.

    Plus have many medical people around me my old girl friend was a nurse.My sister&cousins was also plus other are or have been both Female and "Male" and the last thing on there minds was if the person was hot/dishy/cute etc but what was on there mind let me go home i want my bed!

    but Children always got special care they all say they'd do the extra mile for a child.

    Plus as someone that has had to deal with a few very serious medial emergencies i can tell you then last thing on my mind was how the person looked as when the poop hits the fan and your doing cpr that's all your thinking about is keeping them alive till ambulance gets there then phew hand them over!

    But one of the main things when not in primary care like when staying in hospital or having to go there or Quacks is someone that talks and listens to you be it male or female

  • Lefteddie, PT here. We need to move this issue to the forefront. The only way for change is to move it to the stadium of public opinion. This is how you get the attention

    of hospitals and medical facilities. Please post on Dr. Bernsteins site so we can


  • Hi to be honest ive had bad care from both male and female quacks but also good from both me personally want someone that has some understanding and i guess compassion than there gender.

    but one thing is in hospitals once your there on table etc your just a piece of meat as it were not a person of either sex and there there to deal with you.

    I'm happy with someone that "actually" talks to "me" not at me/over me so not feeling like the child with my parents sitting playing with toys while they discuss me.

    Once you get over the "embarrassment" as you call it and speak about your problems you will find it quite easy and could find your more happy with a female as it's your barrier not theres to overcome.

    I have a Gynecomastia problem with an hormone imbalance as have a P tumor and would rather have a female doc to speak to on that issue as they have there own so would hope understanding!

  • I accept the point, if an option is available to a women it should be available to a man, or the equivalent, we don't need ovary checks.

    But I feel the reverse, I would hate to have a man touch my penis or testicles. If i had tot all to some one about an intimate problem I'd far sooner talk to a woman.

    Again i agree with your core point it's sexist not to offer an equivalent service i'm just saying given the option i'd far rather go the other way.

  • I shall cut to the chase on this doesn't matter one jot who checks you, preps you are treats you. They may or may not have the same as you down stairs, but who cares? They are professionals doing their job. They are NOT sniggering behind your back, or comparing; they are doing a difficult job that patients CAN make easier.

    We have two choices, be treated by some one, or don't be. If I has been 'fussy' I would be dead. I would have left my wife a widow, and my son without a father.


    If you have a problem, go and get it sorted.

  • And I'll cut to the chase also. You may need to go get it sorted Sally Cycle because not everyone feels as you do, if they did there wouldn't be all female clinic's for females to get mammagrams. People do care who sees them naked & the government has mad available BFOQ laws to provide for this very purpose. Not many people know about it LIKE YOU. When it comes to "Intimate care" laws were written where it is not an emergency but you are the paying customer for a procedure you have the legal right who performs intimate procedures on you. That is the reason women have Breast health clinics set up with all female staff to protect there privacy & dignity. This same thing has been overlooked for men mainly because they haven't complained. Sally cycle like I said earlier everyone is an individual, you don't care who see's you naked More power to you, woo hoo. Not everyone feels like you and you shouldn't expect them to. We don't tell women to GET OVER IT, GET IT SORTED. Men die on average seven years earlier then women mostly because they don't take better care of their health. One reason is because they don't seek health care. This is one reason they don't "forced opposite gender intimate care", not the only one, but one of the reason's 35-45% of men don't seek health care. Females get dignified health care, men need to get the same. I'm speaking out for the men who aren't getting the care they need out of embarrassment. Your bottom line Sally Cycle Isn't my or everyone's else's bottom line. And if you reversed the gender rolls & were talking about women it surly wouldn't be there bottom line either. They wouldn't stand for your bottom line.

  • Good points! I've personally been fortunate to have always had a male primary care doctor. It definitely makes me more comfortable and willing to discuss personal medical issues as opposed to doing so with a female. Just seems less awkward because you're talking to someone who seems to "get it" if you will.

  • I recently had a stay in hospital and had to have a shave downstairs. I quietly enjoyed the young woman shaving my tackle, much better than a guy doing it. Fortunately for me 90% of doctors in Japan are male and 90% of the nurse are female.

    That said, I agree you should be able to choose. If you feel uncomfortable having a female examine you, then say so and ask to be seen by a man.

    Most hospitals/clinics will do their best to accommodate this.

    Common sense really.

  • It is unfortunate that a few of the posters here feel that affording men equal treatment regarding gender preference is unimportant. We don't make fun of women for wanting a female nurse. I wonder how the posters here poking fun at men wanting same gender care would feel if it hit home. Say your son dies from something curable but was left too long because he was too embarrased to have females treat him. You find this out afterwards. Would you say he was not a real man because he didn't want females to see him naked?

    Most women look out for their gender and have empathy for other women regardless of how they feel personally. A lot of men do not support their own gender the same way. Kinda sad.

  • Skydog008 you are a troll... You are most likely overweight or a skinny ass . For sure I can kick your fucking ass all over the place . Guys like you are fucking wimps . meet me in the gym i show you what a real man looks like !!

  • Honestly, it shouldn't matter. But that said you should have a choice.

    If it matters to you, it matters. Period.

    Now, what upsets me is people name calling others for expressing an opinion, that is a base form of cowardice and really stinks.

    An opinion is an opinion, just as valid as any one elses.

    Sanctimony and bigotry have no place here.

  • I am a guy and I am not gay or bi. I am modest and I support patient choice and I do care what others guys think on wanting of care. I do want same gender care. I would want only same gender care. I support nurses both male and female. I personally only want male nurses for intimate care. I was sexually abuse by women three women up to the age of 13yrs old. Because of past experiances I only want male nurses. I am going to phycological counceling to this day because of past abuse by these women. I know of other men who have been abused in the past by women. One of them was abused by female nurse when he was teenager. She struck his penis and testicals so hard with and instrument that caused damage to his testicals. One of them had to surgically removed, and left him strile. Him and his future wife could not have any children. He to this day does not trust female nurses or caregivers. I know for fact that not all male nurses are gay eather. I have friends, and even a nephew who is a nurse. I know for fact they are not gay eather. Of course there are gay and bi nurses, but not all of them are. How is a patient going to know if nurse is gay or bi anyway? Sexual preferances of nurses does not matter in the personal life anyway. It would be unproffessional of a nurse to even discuss this. Also, some of us grew up in a Christian home, and I do attend church. So, modesty and wanting same gender care is my choice. Male patients have as much right to same gender care as girls and women do. I also support girls and women in their choice of same gender care. We do need more men going into nursing. I have friends both male and females who are nurses. My own daughter is a nurse. I will stop now. Please, excuse grammer and spelling? thanks

  • Skydog088, you are a troll. I am not a nurse, I do have family and friends who are nurses. My niease just graduated with her bsn. Modesty was ingrained since I was child. I have had many health issues, I have had spinal cord surgery, I have had lung problems, and see my Doctor regularly. I dont mind female nurses taking care of me. I said I was sexually abused by three women until I was 13yrs old. I do not want female nurses or doctors for intimate care. If intimate care or exposure has to be done. I want an all male team. You say many men dont care, some do not care, as some women do not care eather. As more and more men are opening up about sexual abuse committed by women, and all the female teachers being caught having sex with their male and female students. The numbers on sexual abuse committed by women on boys will be pretty close to equal. You skydog088 are pervert. This is all I will say, I will never comment on skydog again. Alot of men if ask will want same gender care just like women ask for it. There are some in both genders that dont care eather way. Please, excuse grammer and spelling?

  • You lot carrying on like this makes me not want to be a part of this forum anymore.

  • Let's stop all the name calling, ok? Girly men. Real men. What is this? The third grade? The bottom line is this: men should simply be given a choice when it comes to intimate care of their bodies. Some men prefer same-gender care, some men prefer opposite-gender care. Right now that choice does not seem to exist when men visit urology offices. Even though a male patient might have a male doctor, almost all urological offices are staffed completely by females. The only other males in the building....other than the doctors....are the janitors. If urology offices could at least have ONE male nurse, tech assistant, PA-C, things would greatly improve for male patients needing cystoscopies, bladder ultrasounds, any procedure "below the belt." Perhaps some female patients would like to have an all-male staff perform their mammograms (though I sincerely doubt it). But the choice should be theirs. It's all about being able to choose who has access....visually or one's body. There should never be guilt placed upon a patient who has a preference one way or another. The male patient should not be required to explain his preference. It's simply what he feels most comfortable with. End of story.

  • Don't put us all in the same boat. Bottom line all men should have a choice who touches or sees them and have the right to pick who they want as a medical provider .. It's that simple . on top of that its the freaking law !!

  • Skydog088 we get it, you think all male nurses are either homosexual or are straight & want to rape & molest all the women & young girls in the medical environment. Your last statement shows how ignorant you are, if everyone thought like you we would all be living in the dark ages. We have advanced to where people care about each other & strive to move forward & advance in life. When an issue is found in our society that can be improved or something wrong in a system or the way government works people move to make changes for the betterment of all mankind. We all get it that you don't want any man to touch you, believe me no male nurse would want to have anything to do with you so you don't have to ever worry about that happening. You will get your wishes for opposite gender care which you're entitled too. Now quit bullying the rest of the people on here that do wish to have same gender care for intimate procedures which is their right. You have made your views very well known & we all understand how you feel, but don't force your feelings on everyone else after they post. Men & women aren't that much different when it comes to how they want to be treated especially when it comes to respect & dignified care of their body. Just because you're a MAN doesn't automatically mean you have to display you're naked body to women & not feel modest, or an individual MAN can't be humiliated just because he's a MAN. By the way, your point about a hospital being sued for Inappropriate care by a male nurse. I can post several hundred cases of men suing hospitals for inappropriate care due to female nurses & doctors abusing them. Do a search for a female doctor in Silver City, NM that abused several hundred male patients in surgery before she was brought up on charges. Take your blinders off & you will see that it is a two way street for abuse. Myself and others on this blog respect all views, even the ones that differ from ours. Women aren't babies but they get same gender all female intimate care to make them more comfortable, they don't even have to ask for it. For the men that want same gender intimate care it just may save there life by coming in for treatment instead of waiting until its too late out of embarrassment. If same gender care for intimate procedures will help make them seek care, we just saved another man's life. Skydog088 don't force your views on other posters that differ from yours. Ask for your hospital bed next to John Wayne and enjoy all the female attention you two want ,thats your choice and you can get that enema you want by a pretty female nurse & we'll all be so happy that you got exactly the care YOU WANT.

  • Skydog088, LOL I'm not a male nurse but you made my point in your first statement when you said "What gives you the right to think that you can see someone in an intimate position because you are a nurse." You made my point for me, thank you.

    No nurse or tech has the right to FORCE care on a patient that is unwanted. The patient has the right by law to select the gender of the caregiver they want for INTIMATE CARE. I can post several hundred instances of case law where both MEN & WOMEN sued over this issue & won substantial sums of money for the intrusion on their privacy & dignity. You are absolutely right skydog088 they don't have that right, you made my point. If a young lady doesn't want to be seen by a male nurse that’s HER CHOICE & there are laws to protect that right, all she has to do is let the establishment know when entering she has a preference for same gender intimate care, by law they have to accommodate her. Right now because of the gender imbalance in nursing, (about 90% female to 10% male) a woman is almost guaranteed she will get same gender care for intimate procedures. A man or boy on the other hand, the deck is stacked against them. Because of the imbalance in gender of nurses & technicians in these fields the deck is stacked against men. Hence A LOT of men avoid going for needed care out of embarrassment. Any other industry with a gender imbalance like this that favored men over women would have been attacked by the “National Organization for Women” group or feminists long ago. It’s a simple issue to solve, hire more male nurses & technicians. This law is only valid when it comes to INTIMATE CARE. You cannot ask for or be accommodated by same gender care for any other purpose. Most patients don't know these "same gender intimate care laws exist." So Skydog088 thank you for making my point, you are exactly right those women & young girls do not have to have male nurses for intimate care, all they or their parents have to do is "SPEAK UP" when entering a hospital & let the administration know they do not want cross gender care for intimate procedures. What I want is for the female nurses & technicians to not feel they have dominion over their male patients for intimate care WITHOUT ASKING OR GETTING APPROVAL from their male patients (better known as “Informed Consent”). If a male patient is embarrassed by having intimate care provided by a female nurse or technician he should not be made to feel ashamed for asking for same gender care. It should not be taken for granted that it’s ok for a female nurse or technician to preform intimate care without that male patients permission. And, hospital administration needs to provide for this by having male nurses & technicians available for the men that want this care instead of saying "We don't have enough male nurses & technicians to accommodate the men that ask for this, THEN HIRE SOME. If that’s the case, you are already providing same gender care for the majority of women without them even asking for it, especially in your O.B. department (there's not too many men working in there if any) same with the mammogram department, I don't see any men in that department. This has gone on way too long & men are dying needlessly by waiting for medical care due to embarrassment. If your providing this same gender service to one gender but not the other, there is a word for that DISCRIMINATION. I believe that’s illegal folks; maybe a few more lawsuits are needed. Thanks again Skydogo88 for making my point.

  • Hi well as someone that had to go to hospital as thinking ive Cancer in stomach so had to check my rear end one was female doctor brought in male nurse would rather two females to be honest.

    But at the end of the day whats best is someone that is at the best of there ability irrespective of there gender as both can be good and both can be bad but most just see you as someone to shove outta the door at first opportunity!

  • My urologist is a man. We discuss everything. I have a new physical therapist, who is a woman. She will help me with incontinence. She will teach me special exercises involving my penis.

  • Thanks.

  • Hello:

    I’m new to this board.

    First let me say, I am NOT a healthcare professional I do however, personally know and have spoken too many in the business.

    The United States healthcare industry has grown up on and nurtured to this day the unfounded notion that only women can and are modest and men are not and should not be modest at all.

    This notion is far from the truth and the sooner the healthcare industry drops this notion, the better everyone will be.

    I’ve read many notes here where many people think if you’re a male nurse, you gotta be a pervert.

    To them I would ask, what about all the female nurses that have been in the news around the country lately for doing things like taking pictures of patients with their phones while the patient was unconscious then sharing the pictures with colleagues?

    There is plenty of evidence to fill both sides of the coin on this issue. That discussion is for another place and time.

    Here, I will just address the male patient wanting a male-caregiver.

    There is no right or wrong on this issue.

    Everyone who goes for a medical test or procedure has their own preference as to wanting same-gender care or opposite-gender care in a medical environment.

    It’s not our place to judge people over their preferences.

    What makes one person comfortable can in turn make another person very uneasy.

    Take for instance a situation whereby a man take a solemn vow with his wife when he marries her. He chooses as part of that vow to honor her and not to allow any other female to see his most private parts. Who are we to tell him his vow doesn’t mean anything in a medical situation. It’s a matter of choice.

    What the healthcare system is missing and must find is equality in the way they handle patient preferences. You can’t do it for one group and not the others. It will if not addressed eventually lead to legal trouble I’m afraid.

    I think we can all agree, most women (note I’m not saying all), would rather speak to another female about most if not all intimate type issues and have only females present for any tests or procedures.

    Why is it so hard then for many in the healthcare industry and elsewhere to believe that there really are men (both young and old), out there that want to discuss their male related issues only with and around a male doctor or caregiver not a female?

    It’s because society has over the years taught everyone that the male species of the human race is supposed to be the strong, dominant, and fearless one. While at the same time, everyone was taught the females are shy and modest.

    So out of fear of seeming to be weak or wimpy, there are many of these strong, dominant, and fearless gentlemen that along with countless other men who suffer in silence because they’re afraid or won’t speak up and say “I want the same choice women get when it comes to their medical care” or, they have spoken up and the healthcare industry has done what they do best and turned a deaf ear to them.

    It isn’t a question of looking weak or wimpy. It is a question of choice. Why do women get to choose and men don’t?

    One if not thee reason for the problem is staffing.

    The nursing profession has been and is still dominated by women. These people work tirelessly sometimes under deplorable conditions to help people and they don’t get the thanks they truly deserve. I for one thank them for all they do.

    The “old guard” of the profession went to school, got their degrees then entered the profession & learned their craft. Over the years, they flexed their muscle and used their influence to get things the way they wanted them. Back then it was their way or the highway.

    For a long time if a woman came in, everyone (without thinking), made sure she’s covered up. If a guy came in he was just told don’t be shy, you don’t have anything we haven’t seen before. All because of the way society thinks men and women should be.

    This way of thinking went on for years in the industry then slowly, change began to come about in the healthcare business.

    The system started moving towards a patient centered care system giving the patient more control over what happens to them.

    HIPPA laws came along and the “old guard” was getting older now and new blood (including men), began coming into the profession.

    The “new blood” could see the disparity between the way men and women were treated even with the help of the new HIPPA rules but, because they were new, they didn’t want to challenge the old way of thinking less they lose their job they spent years training for.

    So the men were still left short-changed.

    Hiring practices today are still for the most part strongly influenced by women from the “old guard”. It is this wall of “this is the way we do things here” that must come down in order for change to happen.

    There are good men out there that are equally qualified for nursing and tech positions that are being told no thanks females only need apply.

    Offices, clinics, and hospitals should be hiring an equal number of male and female candidates so as to accommodate patient needs.

    It’s understood by most people that mammography and L&D areas would hire mostly if not all female candidates.

    But in areas such as radiology, urology (in the prostate cancer area there should be mostly if not all men hired), diagnostic sonography or ultrasonography there should be an equal number of men and women hired to handle both men and women.

    The old way of thinking that being a nurse or tech in any capacity is a woman’s only area needs to go by way the same way the right-track player went, obsolete.

    For years, women have screamed they want “equal pay for equal work”. They screamed and were heard.

    It’s time for the healthcare industry to “hear” what men have been asking for. All they’ve wanted is what the industry has freely given to women for years.

    The right to choose who cares for them in a medical setting.

    Ladies, next time your dad, brother, boyfriend, husband, or your son is sick, ask them “have you seen a doctor”.

    If they haven’t, ask them if it’s because of the way they are treated when they go in?

    You’d be surprised how many men are foregoing needed medical care simply because they refuse to just hand over their dignity and self-respect to these people.

    If you want the men in your life to live long happy lives ladies, stand with them and speak loud and clear.

    Tell the healthcare industry, men deserve the same choice as women already have. It’s time for the system to change.

    Without needed change, many men will needlessly die sooner than they should of.

    Write or call your local hospital and ask them will they accommodate your wish for same gender caregivers. When they say it’s not possible, ask them why. Tell them you are going to write your elected officials and request they look into the healthcare industry hiring practices.

    It’s time to let people know now what they’re in for if heaven forbid they need medical assistance.

    If enough people know now what they have to look forward to maybe, change will come.

    A male friend of mine needed a scrotal ultrasound recently. They didn’t tell him ahead of time a young woman would be doing the test. He was under the impressing the hospital would assign a guy to do it since it was male related. When he got there & found out, he cancelled rather than be humiliated. After calling around to clinics & hospitals he had to drive 50 miles in order to use a place that had a male technician to do the test when he lives 20 minutes from a teaching hospital.

    That is wrong and that’s one reason why the system must change.

    Regards to all,


  • I agree with you 100% Skydog, there is a movement to have hospitals hand you a form to fill out when entering a hospital with a list of questions. One being "when it comes to intimate care do you require same gender care. That would solve this issue for the men that want it and for the women that want it. According to American Law it has been determined by the courts that this is the only thing you can demand same gender care for INTIMATE PERSONAL CARE.

  • Soul, if you've read any of my responses to this subject were aligned in our thinking. On All Nurses I've supplied various court judgements so the nurses and tech's that just take it for granted they have a right to your body no matter the gender could see court rulings. You can not dictate you want a certain race etc. but this one thing "Same Gender Intimate Care" is a right the healthcare system can not invade. They should be the one's ASKING us if we prefer it but they don't. Your right when it comes to Hospital administration they ignore the wishes of male patients. If you read some of my writings you'll see that 95% of nurses and technicians hired are FEMALE. And who is hiring this all female staff? The female department heads and directors. If you take anyone of the approximately 3200 hospitals in America and look at their management staff, its ALL FEMALE all the way up the ladder until you get to the CEO and that position is usually always a male. Your right its females protecting females and its the old girls school of thought, men don't care we can just force opposite gender care on them. Another thing your right about is men that are referred to a hospital for a scrotal ultrasound and you mentioned, most men that haven't gone through the system ASSUME the hospital will assign a male technician for intimate care. When they are ambushed undressed and in a hospital gown its a pretty poor time to wage a fight and they know it. Women don't understand why the men in their lives don't take better care of themselves, they think it's funny. Tell them to walk a mile in our shoes, how would they feel if the hospital they had to go to for intimate tests were fully staffed by all males. Labor & Delivery, mammogram department etc. I think then they would get the message. Our women are catered to in hospitals to protect their dignity and modesty. No thought what so ever is given to men. Women are sent to Trauma are completely undressed then assessed and immediately covered up. Men that come into Trauma are stripped naked assessed then left exposed for everyone to look at. I'm not saying what my job is but I've seen it hundreds of times. More and more female doctors, nurses and technicians are being brought up on charges for boundary violations. I can list several that have had their licenses suspended for taking pictures of male patients, one in New Mexico for fondling male patients in the O.R. she had been doing it for YEARS mostly with an all female theater staff assigned to her. Finally one of the OR nurses reported her. She didn't loose her license like a male would have they gave her a slap on the wrist she is still practicing. So the other problem you didn't mention is hospital staff protect each other. This female doctor had been doing this for years it was common knowledge among all the hospital staff. They joked about her because she was an ENT doctor which puts her specialty at the opposite end of the body, hey doc your at the wrong end was the joke. If this would have been a male doctor and a female patient the outcome would have been much different, that doctor would have had his license pulled. Another glaring example of the double standard in medicine. This problem needs to be cleaned up and men given dignified care, "Same gender intimate care" if they want it. And to make that happen hospitals need to HIRE MORE MEN. Don't just assume that men don't care that you staff the urology department with all female, or your sonographers are all female when men have to get a scrotal ultrasound. Or hire all female staff for men getting radiation for prostate cancer. No male nurses when a man has to have a catheter inserted. If you have departments where men aren't allowed so as to protect women's dignity and modesty as in L&D and the Mammography department and you don't do the same for men in Urology, Sonogram Department , and especially men getting radiation for prostate cancer YOU ARE DISCRIMINATING. Most men thinking the hospital will automatically assign a male for intimate medical tests then finding out its all female will feel ambushed some will be humiliated and never go back for medical care again. Men die on average seven years before our female friends, gee I wonder why. Skydog has the opposite problem he has females desiring the same thing same gender care for intimate medical care and are assigned male care givers. I have advised him that on entry to the hospital to make it clear if ANY INTIMATE CARE IS TO BE GIVEN its to be only by same gender care givers. Glad you joined the conversation Soul and hopefully we can get hospital administration to listen to our pleas.

  • Apparently not enough men have had the unfortunate experience of dealing one on one with these doctors, hospitals and clinics. Or they're just to scared to speak up. Unless people everywhere speak up, this problem will not be corrected.

    It amazes me how many women's clinics are going up all over the country. They advertise for women, staffed only by women.

    By comparison, you see very few men's clinics and those you see are staffed by both men and women.

    I wrote to a couple of the clinics and asked "if you are truly a clinic for men's health issues, why do you have female doctors and nurses on the staff"?

    As I expected, not one of them replied to my inquiry.

    I suspect it will take an act of congress or more than likely a lawsuit to open the healthcare industry's eyes and ears and make them listen to the people.

    Its a bad situation to say the least.

    Until things change, I won't let my doc schedule any tests for me before I find out if its male related & what's involved. If any part is intimate related, I first call to make sure there is a guy available to run the test then I tell the office where to schedule the test and with who.

    It's the only way not to get ambushed like my friend did.

    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.



  • Hi Skydog.

    No, I'm not a male nurse.

    I'm just one of many many men out there that want to see the healthcare industry give their male patients the same choice they give their female patients. Some people (including lawyers), would say it could be construed as a case of discrimination.

    I know men who strictly out of respect to their wives, will not allow a strange woman to see them below their waist. It has nothing to do with testosterone levels. Just their wedding vows.

    It's not the healthcare industry's place to judge people that want opposite gender care-givers.

    The end result of the patient experience is to have the best outcome possible from their visit.

    If giving them same gender care-givers gets them the best outcome then the institution should do everything in their power to have enough staff available on all shifts to make the outcomes positive.

    I understand financially it will put a burden on the facilities however, to soften the burden, as the older female nurses start retiring, maybe they hire a qualified guy instead of just ignoring they are out there ready to help

    They're going to have to find a balance soon because once the current whispers against current practices become loud & clear for all to hear, the flood gates for change will be opened and the industry will have to comply.

    It's only a matter of time.

    Have a great day all,


  • Hi Skydog.

    Like I said it's a matter of choice. The industry can't give women a choice not men. It's discrimination which will lead to lawsuits & tie industry up for years in a legal battle they could have& should have avoided.

    Best regards,


  • Hi Skydog.

    The fact there are are so many assaults in hospitals is just another flaw that shows the system is broken & must be fixed soon to better protect the patient & their dignity.

    Patients deserve to be given a choice and their choice should be honored by the facility.

    Not all men are homophobic they just choose not to have their private areas on display in front of women especially one they never met before.

    Until men are given the same choice women are freely given without hesitation, men will continue to die earlier then they should.

    WE need to find a way to change the system so its safe and works for everyone.

    A large (and what many will say impossible), task but one that if everyone works together, can be accomplished.

    Best regards,


  • Hi Skydog:

    I don't think bi or gay plays into the scenario for guys as much as the need for some men just not wanting or allowing a strange woman to see much less touch their private areas. For many men that area is reserved for their wife or girlfriend.



  • Sorry Skydog I am neither gay nor am I a male nurse. Men deserve to be treated the same way as women have been for years. It's called choice. Both genders deserve it not just one.



  • Good afternoon:

    It's been awhile since I was here. In my time away, I've spent a lot of it speaking and writing to people in our nations capital about getting same gender care written into the new health care bill they are currently crafting. I've also spent time talking with healthcare administrators about hiring on more male staff to attend to requests from men for same gender care for intimate care, exams, testing, or procedures.

    Over the years the healthcare industry has been very crafty in the way they hire their all female staffs.

    Out of one side of their mouth they tell the public they serve how they are an "equal opportunity employer".

    Out of the other side, they go about only hiring female staff.

    If they are challenged in court, they use what is called a bona fide occupational qualification defense (BFOQ). What they tell the courts is it is reasonably necessary for them to hire female workers to support the normal operation of the business. Their logic is males don't have modesty issues as far as they can tell while women do. So they will hire female workers, they will be staffed in areas like mammography, & L&D where its needed to protect her privacy and dignity while at the same time take care of the medical needs of both males and females.

    Their defense in this case is bogus because it cannot stand up to two tests.

    The first one is they could hire an equally qualified male nurse or technician who could step into the shoes of their female counterpart and do just as good a job.

    The second area where this defense fails is in the "Patients Bill of Rights" which hangs proudly in the lobby of many a healthcare institution.

    On the one hanging in the lobby of the community hospital near my location there are two very important lines.

    Every person has the right to Personal privacy and the confidentiality of your medical record.

    Every person has the right to be treated with dignity.

    Two words "Every Person".

    If they mean what this says, then they supposedly protect the privacy and respect the dignity of ALL patients not just their female patients.

    The industry should be called on the carpet for blatant discrimination.

    Men deserve the same right to choose as women already have and it's about time federal regulators stepped in and corrected the situation as the institutions have shown without a doubt they like things status quo.

    Out of fear of being seen as weak, wimpy, or even gay many men won't speak up in a medical setting involving opposite gender care for intimate related subjects even though they know they want nothing to do with the situation. They tell everyone it is what it is as they are embarrassed and humiliated.

    The medical community knows this and isn't going to ask him if he'd prefer same gender care because then they might have to increase payroll to hire more male staff.

    They'd rather trade men's lives for the almighty dollar.

    Hopefully with the new healthcare bill the scales that are currently tipped far in favor of women's healthcare will be brought back to the middle and equalized in favor of all.

    Have a good evening all.