Sensitive Issues for Men
1,235 members193 posts

erectile problems

This maybe an odd one and I might get a bit of stick over it but I feel I have to say something on this issue.

On the female side of the coin when erectile problems happen to a male partner whither due to illness such as heart attack happen and medication such as Viagra does not give the "spontinayity" ((spell check ain`t working) this can have an enormose effect on any loving relationship, so what do you do as a couple to overcome this ?

Do you just give up on sex ?

Do you masterbate each other and use "aids"

Do you bring a "lover" for your wife into your relationship to relieve her needs

i may have hit a taboo on this posting but I feel that a lot of couples are in this position and it needs talking about openly.

12 Replies

I use the Viagra, which is free for me because I also have diabetes and now I have been blessed with dementia and yes it causes so much upset in the marriage.

I normally guess the situation and look on the side of caution lol, works 85% and the rest you can guess.

But don't give up UNTILL you've done everything you can and best of luck.

The prices of Viagra have now fallen so it's much easier to obtain.


Viagra is not available to all due to medical conditions ie heart problems. There are several alternatives available through the NHS clinics but although cheaper than on the open market, cheap they are not. We discussed the various methods and I must admit I was not too pleased with any form of external intervention, such as the removable implants etc. I feel that it has always been a natural and fulfilling response between me and my partner and so not too sure. However, although intercourse is great, next to it must come "cuddles". Nothing better that giving each other full attention with no deviations or ulterior motives. the number of times my wife used to say, lets just cuddle....and we did but I always had the intention of taking it further, at the back of my mind....that's men for you. I have now got a penis pump, which is very effective in giving and maintaining an erection, with the use of bands but now we are more likely to cuddle than make love.


Pity more people not replying to this post as it must be of concern to a lot of couples especially the females who bear the brunt of the "problem "


Bobski1 - I think you brought up great point, and more people do need to reply. Here is what I will say from the perspective of the thousands of men we work with who deal with this problem.

1. Make sure your ED isn't a result of an underlying problem. Not only can heart conditions cause it but so can diabetes, depression, stress, and a few others. The irony is that ED makes guys stressed which leads to worse ED. See your Dr.

2. Try natural solutions before Viagra or any other pill. I highly recommend checking out Talking About Men's Health there are several post on the subject from leading Men's Health doctors -

I hope others reply.


Austin, MHN


What exactly you want to suggest when one is having ED and the other frigidity ?

1 like

OK Dippy

This was a serious posting so stop piss taking.

There are a lot of people having problems in their relationships when it involves the lack of sex due to one or the other having problems,It does seem a lot of people are in denial going by the lack of postings maybe due to embarassment or something else.

The reason I did ask the question was one of my lads left his computer on and it was on a dating site,being nosey as to what he was up to .

On this site I noticed a few adverts from couples needing a male to "service" the female on a regular basis due to the husband having a heart attack .

That couples need to go down this road may show just how life changes on the relationship side when you do have a heart attack,now,whither the lack of erection is due to the medication,fear of another heart attack, or the heart attack itself ,I don`t know . But,what I do know is that this is a subject that does need talking about and with luck the cause of the problem found and hopefully eliminated.


Another problem can be your medication and that I recently noticed other sexual problems, as was mentioned earlier is depression and the Medes are SERTRALINE and a side effect of that can make you unable to climax, no matter how long your on the job lol, I only noticed this a week or so ago.

That's one thing sorted out lol.

All these type of things need to be talked about on these sort of forums.



You are absolutely right!! This is a topic common to many of us. It needs a open discussion. Let us share each other problem in this respect and suggest remedial measures as each one thinks fit.

1 like

Sorry only just read this, so I'm pitching up rather late. I wish this topic wasn't hidden away it would help many if it wasn't!

From me and my hearts point of view and then include the medication, my now little thing just hasn't a clue what an errection is, let alone what shoots out of one. My doctor just said 'it part of the condition' I can't have the likes of viagra because I'm already on loads of nitrates.

From my wife's point of view, how can you enjoy something that kill some one and one sided sex just isn't fun, she also said that me having an errection was a sign to her to get ready, so it got her going. I said just think at the gates I can say 'I died on the job' and you can say 'I killed him with sex' didn't work,

Our brother and sister type marriage just exists, she's given up and I just get angry.

The love is still there but take the sex away and even the cuddles loose there meaning. If we were younger (both mid fifties) chances are we wouldn't be together.

So to repeat, I want it talked about more, not just its part of your condition, In other words live with it, it may have just help us well more so my wife.


What I don`t understand is this is a major problem but It is not acknowledged by 99.99% of this community,whither its due to being embaressed or something else I dont know.

But I am still aware that some couples do have to advertise to help them out .

your comment of "Our brother and sister type marriage just exists, she's given up and I just get angry.

The love is still there but take the sex away and even the cuddles loose there meaning. If we were younger (both mid fifties) chances are we wouldn't be together."

I know and understand you on this one and it takes a strong marriage to survive it but there is no doubt it can be hell at times for both involved.


Hi, I faced similar situation. Disturbed sexual life because of the growing age - Erectile dysfunction. My friend recommended me kamagra pills. I have been using it same now from the site They do discreet and ontime shipping, no fuss. I have been quite happy and satisfied with my life since then.


Might see my local pharmacist for these as I do not trust the internet ,knowing him he`ll possibly get the generic for 1/3 the price if not less.

Thanks for the info though as it may help more people than just me .



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