I thought about writing this blog as if today was just like any other day but it isn’t – I was going to lie but I can’t – today is not a good day that is, in fact it is thee most horrible, awful, lousy day and most definitely, positively worse than yesterday.
Firstly let me say that I am a smoker. Have been for most of my life and always will be and today, I have been the most stupid, stupid person on this earth. Why? Because I have put a cigarette to my lips and lit it! To make it even worse, I took a drag and then another and then one more before I stubbed it out and literally pulled it apart and watched the tobacco and paper fall to the ground. I have now just thrown away nearly 42 days of my life because of my own stupidity. I was doing so well and I was winning but no more. My ears are buzzing and my head is spinning and to be perfectly truthful I am crying my eyes out because I have smoked when I told myself all those days ago that I was finished with smoking for good. I am just like an alcoholic – I am a smoker always have been and always will be. DO NOT want to be but let’s face it if I didn’t want to be then I wouldn’t have done what I did.
Despite getting through yesterday thanks for all the support and a pm from someone telling me I could do this, I can’t.
I feel an utter failure and I am an utter failure despite all my blogs as they were only words and full of advice which I didn’t take heed of. I really and truly want to curl up in a corner and die as I am so ashamed of myself. I wanted to be able to say to my doc in 10 days that I had done 7 weeks of no smoking but I can’t now, can I?
Looking back with hindsight which is a truly wonderful thing I suppose I wanted to prove to myself that one wouldn’t make any difference but it does – I’ve proved that and I only had three rotten, stinking lousy puffs.
So, firstly I am sorry to everyone. Secondly, EmJay take me off the wall of winners and thirdly when you’ve all had a chance to read this by tonight, I am going to come off this forum as I can honestly say that I just cannot face any of you again.
Buttons I'm sure I speak for everyone in saying that you will always be welcome back here. Quitting is really hard, this is my fifth try in 2 years and I still have a long way to go so stop kicking yourself in the butt about a relapse. Were all on the same road here, and none of us think its easy.
Hi Buttons, Stop taking it out of yourself. Your not a failure. You have just had a mishap. Its not the end of the world. Besides you don't really want to give in, and suffer in life DO YOU?
Surely its better to keep on trying, to improve your health. Like Emjay says think of it as a practice run. Look at Pete bless him he has been trying to quit for over a year now. But he hasn`t given up trying.
Please stay with us. we don't mind if you scream at us.
Hi Buttons , this is one of Emjays blogs that may help.
What happens when the cravings become too much?
Here's a few things to try that can help you through these moments;
1. Stay Positive
It really is important to remain as positive as possible as this can affect your whole outlook on everything. Feeling negative is understandable, however, you need to push these feelings out as they will make everything seem a lot harder. It's like carrying an extra load on your shoulders. Losing the negative feelings will lighten the load and nothing will seem as bad to you.
2. Keep a craving log / diary
Grab a small notepad and pen.
Write down at the top "I can do this".
When a craving comes on make a note of the time that it is.
Make a note of what you think may have brought on this feeling. Was it because you saw somebody smoking, it just entered your head, you spotted a cigarette packet etc...?
Write down the words "I am doing this"
Think about how you are actually feeling, does it feel like a physical feeling (in your body somewhere) or a psychological feeling (in your mind)?
Make a note of these feelings, both physical and psychological.
Write down "I have got through this"
Carry on with what you were doing beforehand...
Next time you feel a craving coming on repeat all the above.
After a while, you should be able to recognise any triggers that bring on these feelings, you can then plan how to avoid them.
You will also notice that given time, they will become less frequent as time goes on.
This feeling will pass, you just have to see it through
3. If possible do some exercise
If you can go for a walk, then a nice stroll will do you the world of good. Practising deep breathing exercises as you go. Filling your lung up with fresh clean oxygen.
Maybe if you are at work, just have a nice big stretch. Get up and nip the loo or go and get yourself a nice cold drink of water. Just take yourself for a little walk away from your workstation if you can.
If you can, go for a jog, or have a go on your rowing machine if you have one. Maybe if you just try a very brisk 'march on the spot' for 2 minutes.
4. Have a pint of water
This will help pass a craving and stave off any pangs of hunger, it will also help flush your system too. You will need to pay more visits to the loo though
5. Focus on exactly how you are feeling, do you really believe that the craving is that bad, that you cannot overcome it?
Can you get on with something that may take your mind off it for a short time?
6. Go and brush your teeth
It would be such a shame then to smoke and undo the good work so far, especially just having brushed your teeth and giving yourself lovely clean breath.
7. Breathing exercises
breathing exercises can be used to give you a calming feeling, help relax you, give you a bit of energy if you feel a bit lethargic, slow your mind down a bit should you feel it racing away.
It's worth practising different breathing techniques beforehand so that they come more easily as and when you need to use them. Have a look through our archives for some of our different types of breathing exercises
That's just a few suggestions to help you get over cravings. Try them and see how you feel and let us know how you get on
Remember that whether or not you decide to smoke, the craving will go away
Stop beating yourself up, we've all had slip ups, I don't know how many i've had, to many to count, stay on here, we will help you, I'm sure you do want to quit, otherwise you wouldn't have come on here in the first place, I know this is really hard to do, just regroup, read Emjays blogs, starting with the one above, come on here and shout and scream if you need to.
OY '' Butts, your talking a load of flippin c__p Woman, are you listening to me you sit yourself down and think '' WHY '' you slipped up ?? and how you can overcome it next time I know why I slipped up - stress - so now I have to try to find a way of dealing with that
Butts, as Jillygirl has said, I have now been on this site for over a year trying to quit, it is the hardest thing that I have ever tried to do, but I tell you gal, I'm ''NOT'' giving up, giving up Try some NRT to help you to quit
I know just how you feel Butts, I tell ya gal like me, you just have to pick yourself up and shake yourself down ready for the next go at it
Erm just wondering Butts, was it just the 1 fag you had, or have you had a few ??
Lots of people on here have just had 1 fag, or a few puffs, but as long as you have got straight back on your quit, it dosnt matter your still classed as quit
Why don't you try an inhaler. I use an e-cig myself but inhalers have been tested I believe and it seems to me are the closest thing to giving the same physical feeling of inhaling. I understand that you have been trying to go without using anything but surely that would be better than actually smoking. I don't care at this time if I have to use something for the rest of my life. Anything has to be better than smoking.
Kath, I have been smoking for 44 plus years and trying to stop for 32 years. I managed when I was 26 only because I was expecting my first child, so I was doing it for him not myself. I have tried and tried since then and although I have now gone 3 weeks I am not counting myself as a non-smoker as I have gone more than this in the past. Each time I have tried it has been hard but I know that one day I will beat the smoking habit. You just keep trying, you are not a failure, if you are then I have been a failure on more times than I can count.
Stay on here, keep positive. My dad stopped smoking 28 years before he died but said he was always a smoker, because could have lit up at any time, I think we are all like that but sometimes things just become too much and we surcumb.
You did well just having three puffs only so the desire to stop is still there, count them as a silly mistake and try again. Lots of love and positive thoughts being sent. suec x
Kath. So you had a few puffs AND YOU DID NOT ENJOY THEM so why go back. Keep trying to kick Nic to the curb. You can do it. Stay on the site for support we all need it to fight this addiction and stay strong
Sue x
Hi Kath, I just spent ages typing a comment for you.. But it wouldn't send. it's disappeared into the ether, which is very frustrating.
it's very important that you stay here with us... people that have a Slip have first hand knowledge of how it happened... and can be of huge help to others here who come very close to it.
Once those angry/ disappointed tears dry... Just start over... I've slipped many, many times over the past two years. But no way am I going to stop trying.
Each time my Pride and Self esteem take a battering, but that's Nicotine for you... Powerful, and baffling.
Ease up Kath... you will do this eventually... just for you. 'cause we can't do this for other folk, we won't stay stopped that way.
Kath I used the Boots inhalator to help me. they come in 15mg. and 10 mg. So you may find
10mg is enough to keep your cravings at bay. I know I thought if I am on the inhalator forever it is still better than smoking. I managed to quit within 6 months. , but everybody is different. Please consider nrt. it may just be the answer. (Also boots is cheaper than the others.)
I now pronounce you 1 of us lot cos you have put 3 of the same comments on Whether its to do with quitting, and our brain cells arnt working properly or whether its the gremlins that we get now and again, erm I'm not sure
Well, well, don't know what's up with the site, but I can't do a delete or reply to Pete or others. it keeps coming up with " Whoops, can't find Page 404!
Have switched everything down, but Gremlins still there... So sorry folks, it ain't me!
Buttons I have been a non smoker for three months now. However I had two puffs of a friends cig two weeks ago. So what, I don't intend to beat myself up about it, whats the point in that ??? Just forget about it and carry on, good luck.
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you sit yourself down and think '' WHY '' you slipped up ?? and how you can overcome it next time 
like me, you just have to pick yourself up and shake yourself down ready for the next go at it 
or whether its the gremlins that we get now and again, erm I'm not sure 
ONE MONTH AND COUNTING!!
Never want to light again 
Never thought I would
2 weeks an one day smoke free
