Hello Folks - Two weeks in and shattered. - Quit Support

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Hello Folks - Two weeks in and shattered.

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER
34 Replies

Hi everyone,

So, while trying to find out a few things regarding quitting smoking I found links to this site and read some posts - it seems like a supportive and immensely helpful community and I thought I might join in.

I gave up smoking two weeks ago, or to be more honest 1 week, 6 days and 12 hours ago and I feel like I've been pummelled by an angry baboon for 1 week, 6 days and 11 hours.

I've been on a bit of a personal mission over the last 10 months - I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last year and once I got my head around that I needed to make changes.  The first thing I wanted to do was get to a healthy weight and as such have lost 34 lbs and still have 10 to go.  I discussed things with my diabetes nurse and we decided that weight was first and smoking was second, just so I could focus on one thing at a time.  However, about 2 and a half weeks ago I temporarily lost sight in my left eye (only for 9 minutes - but they were a long 9 minutes).  I was seen by a local stroke clinic and they took the relevant readings and even though my BP, Cholesterol, ECG and Cartoid arteries were all pretty good they still suggested I had suffered a TIA.  This obviously freaked me out and after a few days I decided that I needed to quit smoking too.  So, I did, at 8am on the 22nd March I stubbed out my last cigarette.

Since then I have been pretty much going it alone (support from friends and family) but not really looked for any help from anyone professionally.  To be honest, I had no idea how hard the process would be.  I have been knackered, physically and mentally drained.  I have had the cravings, the dizzy spells, the headaches (the dizzy spells and the headaches have been challenging as I have also been worried about what happened and each little physical wobble has sparked concern that it's another TIA or something.). I have been sad, desperately sad that my association with smoking has gone, but also disgusted by the thought of smoking again.  I have two packets left from what I bought before I decided to quit - they are in a cupboard in my kitchen - perhaps just a symbol of what I'm doing. I've not opened them or even taken them from the cupboard in 10 days.

What I haven't felt is any sense of achievement yet, because I'm aware that 27 years at 20 a day is not going to be easily forgotten and I just know that tomorrow will be tough too.  I also know that the 5th April 2017 won't be tough though.

Anyway, sorry for such a long post - I just haven't really put all of this down in any semblance of order yet.  So, now I have - maybe things will seem a little less chaotic.

Thanks for taking the time to read this novella 

Cush

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Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing1967
7 MONTH WINNER
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34 Replies
Bevie1968 profile image
Bevie19688 MONTH WINNER

Well done on deciding to quit now all the things you have said happen to all off us so don't feel you are alone because you are not ,this group has got me further than I ever thought was possible I smoked for 35 years so feel your pain ,the good news you will feel better just remember each day nicotine free is another day your body has been able to repair itself ,come on here rant and rave as much as you want but leave the fags in the cupboard good luck 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

Bevie1968 profile image
Bevie19688 MONTH WINNER in reply to Bevie1968

Ask admin to put your badge up its so good to see it go up 

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Bevie1968

I'm not sure what the badge is?

Bevie1968 profile image
Bevie19688 MONTH WINNER in reply to Cushing1967

Next to your name will be how long you have quit for x

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Bevie1968

Ah, right - magic.  I'll get onto that.

Thank you

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Bevie1968

Thank you Bevie - yeah, I know every cigarette not smoked is a small victory and logically I should be feeling better, perhaps the psychology of just having it thrust onto me is making it seem more onerous but I won't smoke again.

The last two weeks have been horrible and to go through all that, and what's to come without having a decent end result?  Seems a bit self defeating really.

Thank you for your reply 

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to Cushing1967

Hi Cushing---How are you doing now??Still in drivers seat I hope.... I just made 6 months and I understand ,like many of us what hell it can be.. Im just starting to feel some real freedom--and less symptoms of withdrawal--Not to say they have been as bad as yours the whole time--They waxed and waned--The last major thing I dealt with was learning to breathe right --that was just a couple months ago and Im much better with it now--I got blindsided on that one--That wasn't pleasant--and the eating--I was just a bottomless pit--and gained 17 lbs so Im not happy about that--How did you lose the weight you were talking about ?/ I still have periods of being ravenous-I also  did a lot of crying last month--seemed like everyday Id cry in the morning--I knew what it was so that helped-(nuthin like missin the devil)-Ive been very surprised by all the withdrawal symptoms--because no where out there is the info on what it is going to be like--My dr is even oblivious  to it--so thank goodness we have this site and eachother--I have hung on here like a baby baboon to its mum--and whined and ranted and celebrated with these people--Yes I did the sweat and blood work but they propelled me and carried me with their caring and wisdom--so hang on --and get this done--I am so proud now--Once I couldn't even look behind me--so scared Id smoke--Now it is like an ugly dream and Im awake and it is getting easier and I have these lovely friends now  who were there during the blur and happily still are (shout out to you lovelies)--Take care and hang on xxx MmeT

in reply to madametobacco49

Hello Madame ,

Love your reply❤️👍🏻  wish I was home... Alberta is up in flames... It's in a state of emergency... I need to get back and help out someway.   80,000 people evacuated in Fort MacMurray... God I feel sick inside... Okay luv ya and congrats on 6 months 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖💐

You're such an inspiration.... Thank you xxxxx

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to

Hi Az==A south wind tomorrow is sending the smoke down here--I am in south Dakota--only 1 state between me and southpartof Canada so staying in--I was wondering how you are doing with what is going on--Sorry it has to be now while you are trying to relax and enjoy yourself--Im assuming it isn't where you live--I heard 90,000 running for their lives--Only hope is if they get some rain which I guess is a possibility--Did you read the post on UK and their toxic cloud? It sure is shaping up to be one nasty weeknd--Love ya too--thanks for writing dear--Hang in there--MmeT

in reply to madametobacco49

Yes I am close by... I want to be home to help out... With supplies, shelter etc... I'm just sick inside... I'm praying a lot xxx

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to

Oh dear Az--Im so sorry for you--I really am--So you are from that exact area?OMG--do you know if your home is still standing??? You can certainly come home if you need to--I guess if it was my town Id have a hard time relaxing now--Poor girl-Big love and prayers--Im here if you want to talk--Anything I can do I will--xxxMmeT

in reply to madametobacco49

Hi Madame ,

I'm south of the city but people are needing shelter etc... A young mom just had her baby... I'm just sick for everyone.. Thankyou for your prayers and support xxxxx

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to

AZ,when are you scheduled to come home?? All we can do is pray for rain--They said today no stopping it without mother natures help--Just an inferno--cant stand the pictures--but I always think someone has to bear witness to these events --and care about the suffering--because it matters--that people aren't suffering alone and other human beings care and are aware ie--they are not alone --I know that sounds like a flowery speech but it is really how I feel--I am thinking of you and praying for canada and you--MmeT

in reply to madametobacco49

Thankyou Madame ❤️

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to

your welcome ((((((((((Big Hug))))))))))))

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to

Hi Az--just watching news--Fire could double in size by tomorrow-but they are expecting and hoping for rain  sunday--so we will hope..... Love,MmeT

kimberly434 profile image
kimberly4345 MONTH WINNER in reply to

Praying for your home and everyone in need!

Briarwood profile image
BriarwoodAdministratorDucky

Hi Cushing and welcome to our quit family😊

You've had a rough time and have done very well to quit with everything else that has been happening. You should be proud of your achievement as it's not an easy thing to do. You have shown great determination in losing weight and having tackled that, you can now apply the same determination to your quit👍🏼

What you're feeling is all very normal and you're not alone here. We know what it's like and there's a wealth of information here and lots of friendly people too. 

Have a read of the pinned posts and don't think of the past or future, just tackle one day at a a time. Much easier to break it down into little pieces😉

We are happy to listen and it helps to get things out, sharing is really helpful so don't ever worry about that. Try some of the breathing techniques and stay close to this site. Our motto is NOPE not one puff ever🚭🚭 drink lots of water to help flush out the toxins and if you can manage some excercise this will really help. Good luck🍀

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Briarwood

Thank you Briarwood - one of the things that the TIA meant was that I've not been able to drive, so there's been an awful lot of walking - which I have enjoyed.  The fresh air has been good and while in the past I would light up while walking the whole idea seems a bit alien to me now.

And water? The constant trips to the loo probably class as exercise too.

I have been reading the posts - it's been pretty enlightening and encouraging.

I will do it - the weight loss was a challenge too but it's shown I have the resolve to get these things done and that alone has helped.

But having somewhere just to vent or share, I think that might be the final thing to help me succeed - I'm usually quite taciturn and overly stoic about things, but I don't think that's the best way forwards

Thank you again

Firecrow69 profile image
Firecrow695 MONTH WINNER

hey Cush, Thanks for sharing. youve certainly been on a challenging journey. I imagine its been pretty scary. well done on your quit you have done amazing.

lots of tips on the forum, but best bit for me me has been encouragement and stories.

lots of water and lots of sleep has been good for me.

really wish you well, and keep checking in. getting a weekly winners badge feels good.

cheers FC :-)

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Firecrow69

Hiya Firecrow69, yep it has been a pretty hard couple of years in some ways but I suppose you just need to be as philosophical and proactive as you can.

I think that the stories and tips and support might be essential to get this done.

And sleeping and I have become almost inseparable of late, it's been nice to be honest.  I might have fallen in love with my bed again.

Thank you again.

Andrew-S profile image
Andrew-S

Hi Cush. Welcome to the forum ur very welcome and right that it is s very supportive place there's always someone about to chat to it moan to or just have a good scream at! 

I think ur right if u have a health scare it is the sensible thing to do to quit and never too late to benefit from quitting. Ru using any nrt or going it alone? 

Two weeks is a brilliant start feel proud of yourself the first few days then week are the worst and ur past that now. 

Let us know if you need any help. There's loads of posts to look through weve all been through the same withdrawal as you (apart from the angry baboon bit!) there's always someone on here that know exactly what you're dealing with and going through. 

Best of luck to u in ur quit take care 😀

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Andrew-S

Thanks Andrew - I am hedging my self congratulation until my birthday, which is a couple of weeks away.  I have a few nights out before then so if I get beyond them and reach my 49th Birthday without succumbing then I'll have reached my first milestone.  I did the same losing weight - I gave myself punctuation marks as it were, achievable but not too easy goals to reach and that worked for me.

I started off cold turkey but then I realised I was personally torturing myself, so I'm on patches at the moment.  I'm going to the pharmacists tomorrow to enroll on their quit programme.

I reckon that 27 years of 20 a day as I said in another post (approximately 193,000 cigarettes) - well, there's no point in making the process harder than it needs to be.

Thank you again

Maddyg profile image
Maddyg

Hi Cushing, thanks for posting. Welcome to our quit support group who I call my second family. Everything you have described is normal withdrawel symtons . You have made the best descion for your health long term. You are a strong person, and what you have gone through has made you stronger and sounds like more determined ,, way to go;)

Stay close to this site we are all here for you, you can rant , chat or whatever we are here for you. Yes it's hard I too smoked 30 years so still feel like something is missing but will never go back. I had to change my life, routines etc, anything that related to my smoking , like getting up early to smoke god knows how many cigs. I now sleep in and just give myself enough time to get ready for work. I go for walks after meals. It is life changing, but all for the best

You can do this here for uou

Maddy x

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Maddyg

Thank you Maddy - funnily enough I have been surprised at the strengths I've shown over the past months - I'm not very good at blowing my own horn or acknowledging things I achieve, but dealing with my own health issues and the death of my dad and looking after his brother and other stuff I've had happening over the past few years (none of it earth shattering or unique at all, but all of it in a fairly short time).  I suppose I've got a little bit zen about it - you achieve what you can and you do it the way that works.

A lot of people have given up smoking - I suppose we're all on a journey that others have done and others will do.

So, yes, it's hard but as you say - very much for the best.

Thank you Maddy.

droopyJ profile image
droopyJ

Hiya Cush and welcome😊 Awesome start to your quit😊

I had quitting sort of thrust upon me... I had really high cholesterol and found out on the Friday that the doc wanted me on statins. On Saturday I looked it up on Google, on Sunday I bought the patches and Monday I stuck my first one on. When I saw the doc Tuesday I told him I was now a non smoker and didn't need the tabs 😊

Never in my wildest dream did I think that I would last this long but mainly due to the lovely people on here 😊 They kept me going through some really low points in my life and I am grateful to each and every one of em😊💛💛

Sooooo keep us nice and close, always carry a spare patch, use different sides and places on your body daily, take them off at least 30 mins before bed so your dreams are not too weird and start saving your cig money. You'll be amazed at how much you save and if things get a bit much, Go treat yourself to something nice 😊😊😊

Good luck and keep us posted....NOPE 😊🚭🚭🚭🚭🚭🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to droopyJ

Thanks Droopyj.

Well done, as I ended up feeling prouder than I thought I would at the end of yesterday I can only imagine how I'll feel in two years.

Thank you for the advice on the patches - I was maybe leaving them on too long and having some insanely ridiculous dreams.  I took your advice last night and was pretty much out like a light - so thank you for that. 

Carissa28 profile image
Carissa2810 MONTH WINNER

You can do it!! One thing I had to do, 4 days in, I knew there were 9 cigs in my coat pocket, the temptation, and the amount of willpower it took not to smoke them was overwhelming, so I took them out I broke each one and  threw them in the dumpster to rid myself of temptation! You'll figure out what's best for you :)

Firecrow69 profile image
Firecrow695 MONTH WINNER in reply to Carissa28

well done Carissa sounds like that was a pretty empowering move :-) guess its you in vonttol now!!! keep it up :-)

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to Carissa28

Thank you Carissa - oddly enough for me I've never been tempted by the ones I have in my cupboard.  In fact the idea of having one just one repels me a little.

Who knows, in a week things might change again but at the moment they are pretty much the furthest thing on my mind.

And the very best wishes to you - it's been nice knowing people are going through their journies at a similar time to me.  It makes me feel less isolated.

madametobacco49 profile image
madametobacco49 in reply to Carissa28

I still have cigs in my apt--I did the same thing when I stopped drinking (just have a little wine now and then now) I kept couple bottles of beer in frig --It made me feel secure--Just threw my ashtray with butts in it by bed--a month ago--so we are all different--I just needed to not be afraid of quitting--Guess my way of facing it head on--Crazy huh??  xx MmeT

Crush you are amazing. After all you have been through and you still haven't smoked. Well done!!! You are doing so well. All the symptoms you describe are your body detoxing and rebooting back to a nicotine free state. I understand why the symptoms concern you coz the word TIA is scary. But stopping smoking is the biggest gift you could ever give yourself. Be at peace with your decision. Tell yourself that every time you have a craving. Keep close to your nurse for support and monitoring. Everyone is here for you they have been so supportive to me and have kept me sane. You are winning!!!

Cushing1967 profile image
Cushing19677 MONTH WINNER in reply to

Thank you 4catsandcounting.

I am pretty much settled as being a non smoker, perhaps because at the moment the symptoms of stopping are much milder.  Perhaps it was going to the smoking cessation pharmacist yesterday and being told that my carbon monoxide was of a non-smoker that hit it home (I knew that it didn't take too long for it to clear but just hearing the words non-smoker was psychologically really empowering)

Thank you again and all wishes and luck on your journey too :)

counslr profile image
counslr

How are you doing?

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