Quit Support
10,358 members17,725 posts


My husband and I both quit smoking 12 days ago and I'm now wondering if our marriage will make it. We have been fighting just about every day when we were loving towards each other before. My insecurities seem to be exploding and I cry all the time. We have both blurted out hurtful things and looking back, I'm thinking that it is due to us going cold turkey. I have all these emotions just coming out and really don't want to keep saying hurtful things that I really don't mean. Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to smoke anymore and neither does he but I don't want the strain on our marriage either.

8 Replies

Hi Tanchill3, a big warm welcome to our lovely quit support community :) and a massive big well done to you and hubby for reaching 12 days quit and cold turkey too :) not an easy task eh :o

In the early days of quitting, our minds are all over the place, we get irritable, short tempered, aggressive, weepy, you name it and we get it :o but its only short lived and your minds will get back to normal soon :)

Going cold turkey means your minds and bodies are going through a vast change :o no nicotine, non of the 4.000 other toxins that are in a cigarette and of course the habit too :o So its a big change eh.

Try doing things together, maybe go for a walk in your local park and talk to each other about how you feel and congratulate each other on how well your doing :) help each other to get through this hard time :) Go for a meal together, treat yourselves to something nice with the money you have saved :) cos you well and truly deserve it :) Be PROUD of each other for what you both have achieved :)

Orfordholly and her hubby quit together using e-cigs and I can remember they went through a sticky patch in the early days too :( but are now both 5 months quit :) and still together may I hasten to add :) :)

Take care now and try to stay focused and positive and just remember '' NOPE '' Not One Puff Ever :)

Pete :)


Hi tanchill3, Listen to our Monkey ( Pete ) ' The Wise One ' :-)

Reading your post I can relate with the irritable tension between you and hubby, my hubby still smoking and think it was just as well in the early stages, I hate the smell of cigs on him now though. I had hoped as time went on he would try too, but I still live in hope :-) then again he would be far more irritable than I was !! :-D

I have succeeded using a vapour e-cig, still using it when I get tense, and I had smoked for 45 years.

It's going to be tough at first, but so worth it, after all we all want and hope to be Healthy older people.

Stay Strong, and keep in touch. :-)


I think this is very tricky as you've both gone cold turkey (personally I think you're both AMAZING,I could never have gone CT and survived) Pete's advice is good,he's very wise (!!) TRY hard to think before you speak and think about what you're saying,sounds to me it's the nicotine talking & not you or hubby.Remember why you want to do this and make plans together on how you'll spend what you've saved by not smoking.If all else fails then think about an ECig with a cartridge or liquid that's nicotine free,makes you think you're smoking when you're not.I smoked 15 day for 38yrs I have COPD (mild) and still cough after nearly 18months of quitting,please don't be like me,give up now and feel how great it is to be free.Good Luck to both of you.Hugs H x

1 like

Hey tanchil, that flipping nicotine takes over our lives, it makes us smell, takes all our money and just burns it, it rots our bodies both inside and out, prematurely ages us, with every puff we breathe in 4000 toxins...... when we try to give it up we get miserable, cranky, coughs, colds, infections, toothache, headache and God only knows what else......

but unlike the increased risks with continuing to smoke, these side effects don't last...so please please please don't let this nasty vindictive piece of crap come between you and your hubby... you had a lovely warm relationship before you gave up, it hasn't gone anywhere it's just nicotine trying to get you to carry on smoking...

stay strong and you will both come out the other side stronger and healthier for it 😀😀😀😀 x

1 like

Thank you for your words of encouragement!! I have not been myself the last now 13 days!! Day 12 was much better even working a double with only 3 hrs sleep!! Staying busy helps a lot. Just trying to stay stronger than the craving!!

1 like

Hi Tanchill, you've had lots of good advice already I see so just wishing you continued success in your quits and you have both done amazingly well cold turkey. I probably would have murdered my hubby and be serving time behind bars 😡 as the days become a bit easier ( and they will ) let this terrific achievement bring you closer together. You are going to be soooo proud of one another so hang in there together and it will all be worth it 😊 x


Dear Tanchill, I am so impressed with you and your husband's strength and also the supportive comments. I was wondering how I will manage to get past spats with my husband, as a roll-up was always a good avoidance and/or comfort technique! so this is all helpful for next time I get snippy...


Hiya just62, I've got a few suggestions for ya regarding spats in the future if ya need em, this is what you could do..................take your lovely Pip out for a walk but this is what I would do ..............put the collar on my hubby and drag him out for a walk ( obviously this is only in my dreams ) unfortunately 😇

Seriously just come on here and let off steam, it's the best place to do it. We know how hard it can be and we'll support you all the way 😊 x

1 like

You may also like...