I have just brought some tobacco -:(

It's amazing, I'm 8 months quit and earlier I brought 1/2 oz of Amber Leaf. Why??

I have been working myself up all day and it got to the point where my anxiety had started to overcome me again and I could feel a panic attack brewing.

I really don't want one, but it's reassuring to know that they are there.

I feel disgusted with myself for letting anxiety back in and leading to me buying these.

I want to throw them away but I've just spent nearly a fiver on them so I don't know what to do with them....grrrrrrr.....

34 Replies

  • Keep it and put it away, i always think if you know you have one there then you are reassured that its always there if you really really need it, but you aren't going to need it are you :o), I live almost on asda's doorstep and i use that as reassurance that i have no need to panic as I can always go and buy some within 2 minutes, it works for me anyway.

  • Ian, Ian, just calm down eh, just calm down :)

    Soooo, your 8 Months quit now then, thats just flippin fantabalious pal :) :)

    Our minds play funny tricks on us, plus you were feeling a bit down eh :o BUT, you havnt had any :) :) :)

    As for your 1/2 oz of amber leaf, either sell it to one of your mates, or find a place where your lovely wife dosnt dust much, and leave it there to gather dust and to remind you of what happened today :) so hopefully you wont do it again eh :) :)

    Stay strong Ian :) Pete

  • Thanks Pete,

    It's locked up in the car . I'm not going to have one I've come to far....I just really needed that reassurance...

  • Thanks Linda, I use to carry around a pouch for exactly what you had explained. But I actually thought I was over that part. It's locked up in the car so it would be a mission to get it, but I Really don't want it. Just nice to know it's there..

  • Hey Ian, stay strong Mister - If for any reason you did give in and make yourself a roll up and then smoke it - I can almost guarantee the following;

    1) you more than likely won't enjoy it :-(

    2) the thought of having it is probably nicer than if you did actually have it :o

    3) no matter if you smoke 'just the one' or continue to smoke for a number of days, weeks, months or longer - you will most definitely want to come back to stopping again

    You have come so far here and this is just a distant memory that has found a way to sneak out and bring a pesky craving with it :x

    Stay strong and give us a shout if you need us ;-)

  • Thanks EmJay it's going in the bin first thing in the morning


  • Yey!!!! Now I really do want to do a happy dance - YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!!!! xx :) :) :)

  • Hi Morriemoo - I've got one thing to say to you, please please please please don't smoke it, you don't want it, you really really don't, you have done ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANTLY - Wow, just look how far you have come, it's absolutely amazing and you really should be so proud of yourself - you are one of our shining stars, you have proved that this is possible and the last thing you want is that thing you made the choice of giving up 8 months ago.

    Look at you, you're amazing, and you look and feel so much better these days, your life is so much better. You can do this, you can fight this, I know you can because I believe in you so much, I just know you can do this.

    And you know why I believe in you, because you haven't given in - okay you've blown a fiver, you could have done that buying a couple of pints in the pub, or 2.5 lottery tickets!

    Mr Nic is an evil git - he plays nasty and makes us think that we need him - the thing about this is that it's so rare it happens after this period of time it has actually knocked you for six whereas you are more prepared for it in the early days- but you haven't given in - THAT is how strong you are, how committed you are and how positive you are - BE PROUD OF YOURSELF, because I am really really proud of you.

    So get those horrible negative thoughts out of your head and start having very happy, very positive ones again, tell yourself "I'm amazing, I've faced the monster and I've beat him up!" and then do a happy dance because I'm ready to do a happy dance for you!

    So what's your favourite song? xx :) :) :)

  • Thanks for the support Chrissy.

    It's not the nicotine which is driving me to smoke but the thought of my anxiety overwhelming me again. As soon as I brought them I just wanted to throw them away.

    I'm going to destroy today :-)

  • Hi morriemo, I'm really pleased that you are destroying the temptation and I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety, I didn't know that you suffered from that. For the last 10 months I have been working with a beautiful and intelligent young lady who also suffered from anxiety and it affected her in such a way it was actually quite baffling and genuinely upsetting, so you do have my deepest empathy and I hope you can battle through it when it hits! Take care xx :) :)

  • Hi Ian

    Almost 8 weeks eh. that's a great achievement, you must be really proud of yourself :D

    We all have our 'little' moments throughout life and this sounds like it was one of yours :( Stay strong and keep the faith, you will feel better for it .... -x-

  • Cheers Droopy :-)

  • Stay strong morriemoo, you are totally amazing, you know that, 8 months, brilliant! The smoke won't make you feel better, it's smoke and mirrors, it'll not help.

    Been battling anxiety all week myself. It's just awful. So many of us here do understand the crazy times too! We're all minding your back.

    Tomorrow is another day, and you can keep feeling proud of yourself for your huge massive achievement.

    Wishing you a good peaceful night's rest. Really proud of you! So well done!

  • Hi Sweetie, are you okay? I'm sorry you've been feeling rough and I'm sorry I haven't been about much lately - work has just been a pain.

    I've missed you though and let me know if you are okay - hopefully if you're not here now, we can catch up tomorrow.

    xx :) :)

  • Hi Chrissie

    Stinking summer colds and maybe a bit of stop smoking jitters!? Like you said above, it is crazy how the mind can trick us into thinking a smoke will help!! Just so glad to have the ecig, for when this bit of trickery strikes :)

    Glad to see you still sparkling there! Also that the work and play sounds good :) You keep shining bright like a diamond lovely :) You make us all sparkle!


  • Oh I'm sorry you have been suffering with this stinking cold so many people around here have had it and it is a particularly horrible one. I think it's the one I had before Christmas and it seemed to hang on for ages, but it does get your down.

    You are doing really really well with your stop honey, and I know that if you are like me, I always smoked when I had a cold and so your cravings will be "up" at the moment and the battle with the cold and the cravings are possibly wearing you out.

    Be kind to yourself, realise how hard it is but do it anyway and you know that it will be over soon - there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You've got your e-cig as back up and I know you don't actually want to smoke.

    The flipping weather isn't helping either - wow what a difference from last weekend, it's absolutely pouring down again here!!!

    Take care of yourself and be so proud of yourself, you are doing a great job - and I'll send you a few healing hugs to you and hope it helps

    Love Chrissie xxx :) :) :)

  • Thanks Chrissie, feeling those hugs now :) xxxxxx

    So much better not to be smoking. I imagine the horrible gunge there would have been! This stuff is bad enough, but it would have been a lot worse, yukkydoo!

  • yukkydoo indeed lovely! ha ha ha - that is such a brilliant word!!! :D :D :D xxxx

  • This time next week will be on hols - probably away when you are? Sunshine sorts it all. So excited! Where are you off to?

  • Boo Hoo I'm not going anywhere!!! But I am extremely excited for you :) :) :) - so as I have no life, tell me about yours......where are you going to? And please please please can you bring some of that sunshine back with you - my skin is getting very wringled with all this rain!!! xx :D :D :D

  • Holiday at home is good too, you're getting your fitness and socialising firing up now, aren't you! That sounded great :)

    We are going to Cuba :) 8-) Want to hear Chan Chan and that music in its home. Went 29 years ago with baby 1, so some reminiscing and seeing the changes....

    Will deffo send sunshine to you 8-)

    :) xx

  • Oh that sounds absolutely wonderful - I would love to go there! Someone at work was there about 3 weeks ago, and somebody else has actually mentioned it as their holiday this year as well, but I can't remember who that was.

    You will have an absolutely fabulous time sweetie, how long are you going for.

    I'm just looking forward to a proper break from work before our manic summer begins - it's going to be crazy time! Also, my youngest daughter will be coming home from uni for the summer that week as well so that will be really lovely xx :) :)

  • Oh Chrissie, it will be great to have time with your girl, and not have to divide yourself up. Just lap that the up :)

    I can imagine summer is completely crazy busy for you, so it'll be just right for recharging your batteries :)


  • Love Cuba and would so love to go back the people are incredibly friendly and it's a gorgeous place enjoy x x

  • Thanks Kaprin :)

    Very excited now 8-)


  • Thanks Betts. I know deep down that actually smoking makes my anxiety worse in the long term. Lots of deep breaths and a cup of tea and I'm ready to throw them away!!!

  • I'm so sorry your struggling right now but your are being really strong as you haven't given in yet. I once saw the following quote on here and always liked it..."If I have just one cigarette, I'll be back where I started,

    Where I started was desperately wishing I was where I am today.". Good luck and stay strong x

  • Thanks Fresher that's a really good quote :-)

    I've come to far to start again..

  • You definitely have and you know in your heart that the cigs will not help your anxiety at all

  • Hang in there Morriemoo - 8 months is a lot of hard work to throw away. I know its hard - I've been quit 8 months now (an ex rollie smoker) and somedays I feel like my heads going to explode! Coming to the quit support site really helps but if I'm having a bad day, I find that going for a swim or taking an extra long bath can help relax the anxiety.

    Good luck mate, hopefully we'll get our 1 year winner badges together :)

  • Please don't do it Ian, you can get through this, anyway it's my birthday today and you having a smoke would ruin it so don't do it. I get really anxious to so I know how you feel and you have had a really rough quit I know that but you will kick yourself rotten if you give in, and think about that lovely son of yours and the way you can play footsie with him now, you don't need it Ian really you don't it's that monster Mr Nic playing those tricks again miserable sod I detest him, go for a walk, swim, have a cuppa anything until this wears off. I know how you feel been feeling that way myself a lot recently but can't let myself or my new found friends on here down and won't, neither will you. Shout and scream if necessary and keep it in your wallet like you did before just smell it if necessary but don't smoke it, here for you pal here for you x

  • Happy birthday, Kaprin!



  • Thank you really appreciate it x

  • Happy birthday Kaprin!



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