TO HAVE AND TO HOLD .....

..... Until death do us part.

Now which one of us, if any, would link that phrase to smoking – our wedding vows most definitely but smoking – no, I don’t think so. But if you really, really think about it the phrase couldn’t be more appropriate to/for us smokers. How so? Well, by partaking of a cigarette we HAVE TO HOLD it and it, once lit and smoked right down to the tip, could just cost us the ultimate price which is our life!! Let’s face the facts; we give it more than one chance to do so, don’t we? Some of us as little as five times a day whereas others could and do, or should that be did?, 20 and 30 chances or perhaps more, only you yourself know just how many cigarettes you have or can consume in any particular day. Are there enough hours in our waking moments for that amount, well every smoker will tell you that there are because we constantly think about smoking and if we’re not thinking about it we’re actually doing it.

Should we be unlucky enough to be diagnosed with one of any of the smoking related ills that, let’s face it are many, we will, have no doubt about it, pay the ultimate price in that we will die and the more we smoke the quicker we will hasten our departure from this world.

Now if I have shocked some of you or even just one of you because, let’s face it, we do know the facts, or should do by now, then all I can do is apologise. Saying I’m sorry is easy but I do mean it, I would not want to hurt, upset or offend anyone on here. But if these, my words, have made you stop and think then they are worth their weight in gold because it is never, ever too late to stop. What price your life? To be struck down with an illness, that is self-inflicted, that will end in your early death is silly – how are you going to tell your loved ones that you have done this to yourself? How do you explain to a non-smoker what you, a smoker, have done to yourself and why? How do you explain that you are slowly but steadily and surely, committing suicide by smoking not just now but for the foreseeable future?

Why do we smoke? Well one reason could be that you enjoy smoking – but do you really? I know I don’t but we are all different. Another reason could be that we have smoked for so long it is now a habit that we just do, without thought. To reach out for that packet of cigs, with the lighter or matches either besides or on top of the box, is habit. You just move your arm and hey! Presto!! In your hand is your cigs and light, simples as that. Is it your crutch to get you through the bad parts of your day? Do you think it is what keeps you sane? Do you think it keeps you calm and less likely to lose your temper? All of these and many, many more are excuses – you know that and I know that – and they are all pretty poor excuses at that. For me personally, I have a cigarette because I’m frightened, no, scared to death, that without a cigarette my life will not be the same nor will it be worth living and, more importantly, I don’t know if I can live without at least one cigarette but we all know that one is never, ever enough. You’re all probably thinking what a poor excuse and you’re right, it is poor but all excuses for not stopping are, when looked at properly, poor. The only reason we don’t stop is not because we cannot but because our own minds, make a very good job of convincing us that we cannot! It is all in the mind and it’s not just nicotine that influences our brain and/or mind to think that way, it is all the other chemicals contained in just that one, possibly, fatal cigarette.

Stupid and silly excuses do not make the illnesses associated with smoking go away – in fact, they bring them nearer, because how many of us when thinking, yes, just thinking, about quitting smoke more than we would normally? Quite a few is my guess – I know I am probably one of those that do. Now how stupid is that? Very is only my answer but hopefully yours as well.

So how do we go about stopping or quitting? Firstly, we have to be sure in our own minds that this is what we want to do. For some, this is easy but it certainly isn’t for me. I keep thinking to myself, I will stop after this one, then it’s I will stop after this next one and so on. So in my opinion, the most crucial element of a successful quit is one’s own mind. We have to ensure that our mind is, laughably, in the right frame of mind! This is not easy but it has to be done. Whether or not we like it, we have to focus our minds on ALL the benefits of quitting. Secondly, we stop ‘clock watching;’ because I think the majority of us are guilty of that. For instances, is it only 30 minutes since I had that cigarette? It feels like hours so we go and have another cigarette. Logical – no but it is how the mind works. Thirdly, we do one of two things in that we either throw everything away that is to do with smoking so we have no cigarettes to smoke and we have no lights to light any cigarettes that we ‘happen’ upon (a danger when your other half carries on smoking as I found to my cost) or, we keep an un-opened packet of cigarettes on our person or even in a drawer. Whichever option you have taken or are going for takes, guts, courage and resolution to commit yourself to give it the best shot that you are able. Fourthly, we pray in our minds/heads, that we have the strength to see this, the way to a better life and a better us, through to the bitter end. No matter how many times we ‘fall off’, we have to carry on, to go on and continue our journey, if there isn’t that strength of commitment there, then the battle is really over before it’s begun.

Now as you know, I was a non-smoker for 7+ weeks but fell and have fallen a few times since and my resolve disappeared bit by bit after each fall until there was, actually, nothing left. However, I have done something today with my other half that I have never done before and that is spent a lot and just so you know, anything over £100 is a lot of money to me, I do mean a lot of money on a car not a new one but an old one and I am now determined as this will be my show car, that I am going to live for a very long time to get my money’s worth out of it!

I now have an added incentive to quit the habit of smoking besides health reasons and the fact that I want to stop and I am going to do my level best and then some to succeed. When I think about having a cigarette, I will think about this car. Note: Mind diversion tactic! I do not want it smelling of smoke. I do not want bits of ash all over it especially if I have just cleaned it! I want to be able to go to the garage and fill it with fuel without having to think that’s cost me x amount and I could have bought x packets of fags for that. Driving this car is going to give me and hopefully others more happiness than cigarettes have or will ever have given me and I want to keep this car for as long as I shall live and I shall live a lot longer (hopefully) if I do not smoke!

Today is, yes, yet again, my day one and I know there will be moans and groans amongst the majority of you and conversation to the effect that ‘oh god not again please’ but this site is an honest site and I am an honest person. I have reasons to stop, I have more than ever incentives to stop but most of all, I hope and pray, that I will have your help and guidance and support along the way.

Perhaps the blog title should have been:-

TO NOT HAVE AND NOT TO HOLD, from this day forward, because it will always be for the worse, making me poorer, making me sick and ultimately result in my (possibly) early death.

I hope that I have not upset or hurt anyone too much but if I have, then my apologies and I do so hope to have all your company on my journey to a smoke free existence.

Wishing everyone happy thoughts and have a good day even though it is still persisting it down here and it might not be where you are and there’s no cricket for my other half to watch and if he tells me once more that England only need 2 more wickets to win then he won’t be smoking anymore either! Cos I will break all his cigs in half (you lot thought I was going to kill him now come on, admit it, you honestly did, didn't you - not quite that short tempered yet but there’s plenty of time )

Keep smiling all ‘cos it’s what makes the world go round.

Kath.

xxx

[Betts]

So true, you've covered some of me in there!

And just now I am going strong, not smoking (but doing a fair bit of eating! Will have to sort that later when back off hols).

I find it a lot easier in nonsmoking environmentsn where I can't be lead into temptation. You are doing well in your resolve, Kath, you owe it to that car now too !

Does she have a name?

Good luck and power to your car-polishing elbow! No power at all to your lighter hand!

Xx

[Hidden in reply to Betts]

Hi Betts

Thank you so much and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it (well I hope you did anyway). Regret that the new car is male and called Roger to go with Rupert and Gary. LIOL Oh well, there are already three females in the house - me and the dogs but now unfortunately there are four males if you include himself!

Resolve has been tested today I'm afraid but it will be 24 hours tomorrow and then hopefully it will get easier.

Luv

Kath