Kathleen's funeral

[acorneater]

The time between her death and her funeral was a little difficult and it went like this.There was a delay in getting her death certificate because of the latest restrictions regarding communication with the registrar,The undertaker could not start their process until they had received the green copy.Finally the registrar phoned me and all the paperwork was done over the phone.I met up with the vicar at our village church to start making arrangements for her funeral and burial.I was expecting him to say that I could only have a few in church but luckily I could have more if they were socially distancing .No singing or organ playing was allowed.So after sorting out a seating plan I managed to get 30 in,and her hymns were downloaded onto a phone to be played played back through a wireless speaker.I wanted her buried next to my son in the graveyard but that relied on not uncovering an unmarked grave (church was built in 1043)I sent out all the complicated arrangements to the 30 people and invited other villagers and friends to a get together at the local cricket ground afterwards.

All went to plan at her funeral Monday 13th,all except that more people than planned for went into the church.But I got away with it and the funeral/burial was completed with many lovely floral tributes and donations to PSPA.The weather was glorious and we all made our way to the cricket ground (3 min walk).We had the use of all their facilities including toilets,pavillion,bar,and a giant gazebo .We had a really nice celebration of her life with plenty of photos of happier times.

I am having a bit of a quiet time now as I begin to tackle all the outstanding paperwork.If there are any U.K. members that have funerals coming up,I can pass on my experience.

[HilsandR]

The last few months for you have been pretty difficult to say the least, courtesy of covid. However, you, family and friends were able to say your final goodbyes to Kathleen in the way you wanted and I am sure in a way she would have approved off, sharing memories of happy times. Wishing you peace in the weeks and months ahead and may your happy memories of life with Kathleen bring you many smiles - it takes a while but you’ll get there.

Best wishes,

Hils

xx

[AliBee1]

Hi. I am glad that it all eventually went well. That must have felt good for you. My friend's husband who died of PSP a couple of weeks ago had a similar problem with the death certificate but it all turned out ok once she located it and he had a beautiful natural burial in a wild hay meadow with the most amazing views of Dorset. They were allowed 20 people not including the funeral people and my sister who took the service. We all had to wearing masks and like you no singing but the music played was very peaceful and gave time for reflection. She like you is now facing all the paperwork. Take care of yourself. Love AliBee x

[Tippyleaf]

Dear Acorneater

Pleased and relieved for you that you could have a “proper” funeral with friends and family there for you and Kathleen - it sounds beautiful.

There is so much paperwork to do now - I found it exhausting. Try and pace yourself working at your own speed

Take care of yourself now as you start on this new path - a whole world of new challenges

Love Tippy

[Northstar1]

That is very kind of you x

[Heady]

This time never goes quietly or easily, Covid is just another complication you could do without. Glad it all turned out how you wanted.

“The Paperwork”. It is a nightmare, well that’s how is seems, in our condition. Remember you are still exhausted from all the caring and grief itself takes every bit of strength you have left. Nothing has to be done today or even tomorrow. Take your time, only do a small bit at a time and then only that, that has to be done now. Get others to help.

Sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

[AJK2001]

So glad you were able to have a fitting farewell even in these difficult times.

Take some time now to recover your own resources and be kind to yourself. Yes the paperwork has to be dealt with but not necessarily immediately.

[Katiebow]

I’m so pleased that you were able to give her the goodbye she deserved, seems hard to do in the present climate. I know that Ben’s Farewell meant so much to me, helped with the grieving process. Take things as easily as possible and give yourself plenty of space think, reflect and grieve, it’s a long process that goes in waves of intensity, go with the flow and listen to yourself, not some well meaning other!

Sending love

Kate xx

[Hiking13]

I am so glad that you managed to have a fitting send off for your lovely wife and I really hope that it has brought you some peace. Take it easy now as grief is exhausting but remember we are all here for you

Sarahxxx

[Nanny857]

After all the obstacles, you managed to arrange a lovely farewell to Kathleen and a celebration of her life, surrounded by family and friends. She is now at peace and now it's time to care for yourself. The paperwork can take a lot of effort so take your time over it. Sort out anything, that needs urgent attention and see to that, but the rest can wait until you are ready.

Sending much love,

Nanny857xx

[SewBears]

You’re very strong during such challenging times! Maybe that’s not the right word but I’m exhausted reading of the “green copy” requirement. I mean, how many hoops we are forced to jump through. Just when we think we’re where we are supposed to be, we get a different hoop. I’m so sorry that the process is made to be so difficult. At first I was speechless and I had to reread your post a few times before figuring out what was making me so uneasy. The entire process is devastating, but add to that the green copy and I think I came unglued. I’m pleased that you were able to give Kathleen a nice send off and made it through all of the obstacles. As others have said, the paperwork can wait and you can rest, enjoy the quiet time. It’s very much deserved!

❤️ SewBears