I just wanted to share this wonderful idea! My daughter presented a "Memory Jar" to my Mom yesterday; I have to say it was an absolute home run! All of the grandchildren wrote 10 individual memories to share with Mom, and they were written on colored scrolls, wrapped with a ribbon and placed in the jar. She was instructed to open one a day, or whenever she wants to enjoy a memory. She opened one yesterday, and it was from one of her grandsons that has just recently moved over 1,000 miles away ... tears were flowing, but they were happy tears. We recorded Mom reading this scroll, and we sent it to him --- what a keeper! Her voice is weak, but recording seems to really pick up the sounds of her voice pretty good, so we are overjoyed.
First thing this morning, after our typical routine ... she had her reading glasses on, opening her jar, and pulling out her memory scroll! Perfecto!
I have had a hard week, trying to keep my emotions in check -- overwhelmed at some of the changes that I am witnessing, but this gift yesterday afternoon just brought sunshine on what was a pretty cloudy day. #FindingtheJOY
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bazooka111
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What a lovely thing your daughter has done - a wonderful idea and will give your mom so much pleasure - a fantastic keepsake. I bet those grandkids have come up with some great stuff. As we always say on the forum - keep making memories - keep finding the joy!
SO great! I do believe that this COVID has been such a mountain to climb, but yet times like these it has seemed to bring us to a place of great appreciation. I love the notes for Grandma - How special that must feel for her! x
You are so right, Kim. I think Covid has made us all take a step back and look at what is important rather than dwelling on trivialities and has given us all a chance to embrace the beauty around us that often goes unnoticed during our normally busy lives. Life is short, for some far too short.
Yes, this has been the third morning since receiving the jar --- Its funny how Mom has a routine -- pretty much the exact same thing every morning (potty, water, coffee, check glucose, turn on the morning news, check glucose again) ... NOW, we have added pulling a scroll from the memory jar! She is now looking forward to reading one each morning ----
So, now Im in trouble because I recorded one of the readings from a grandson, and posted it on our Facebook Journey page --- she has 11 grandchildren, and they are all privately asking for their "MawMaw" to read their memory on video. Special memories -- I keep reminding Mom how loved she is, and how demonstration of love has impacted her grandchildren --- "What a legacy" I say to Mom -- yesterday she cried with what I sensed was great pride. Slivers of joy!
You are a pretty special family, Kim, so much love between you all, wonderful! What a perfect legacy for the grandkids if your mom was able to record on video each of their memories. I know things are getting much tougher now so maybe that’s not an option and would be too much of a struggle for her. The main thing is she is getting so much pleasure out of those little scrolls - such a special idea to brighten her day. Hope you are having a good day - I realize things are getting harder for you now but you keep on smiling, bless you.
Hey Hils! Yes, days here are changing, and I have found it difficult to explain to my brothers, and their children the importance of her limitations. I am trying to explain that we are experiencing exhaustion to an entire new level -- as in too much stimulation. I watched her last evening, as I have let my brothers come to visit with some social distancing -- it is so hard to keep them away. Being careful as we can be. But, anyway ... all the conversation going on, and she is constantly trying to keep up -- cant really interject because the conversations move to quickly. My heart breaks for her --- and I cant quite explain it to them on the spot. (So guess what Im going to be doing ... yep, Bro talk for me. :-/) As soon as the visit was over, her face was really pitiful, and I took her straight to bed. TODAY ... no calls, no visits, just quiet time -- ALL DAY. I am incredibly grateful, because she is truly loved, but I have to be the bad guy most of the time; especially during this damn pandemic. <pulling my hair out>
Friends and family never really get to grips with the challenges we face on a daily basis. Even when we spell it out to them it seems to go over their heads. To this day it hurts when I remember having friends over and when Rod tried to interact and because it took him so long they would often talk over him. I did intervene by asking them to just give him a minute to gather his thoughts and that did make them a little more sensitive to giving him time. The other thing that used to make me cross was when they would come in, Rod would be sitting in his chair and they would say to me “how’s he doing”, as if he wasn’t there. My reply was always “its ok to ask him yourself, he does understand, there might just be a delay in him answering.”
It will be exhausting for your mum when you have family gatherings, it was for Rod, but important as well for her to continue to be included. Good that you’ve had a nice quiet day today to recharge her batteries and yours, though I know there’s not much respite in any one day.
I hope some nights that you can get mom to bed early enough for you and hubby to sit and have a nice quiet chat and a glass of wine - remember to factor in some time for the two of you - very important. Sorry if I’m sounding like an old mother hen!
It’s been another beautiful day here in the UK, well at least here in the south, so I’ve pottered about aimlessly, which has actually been really nice.
I don't know how I missed this response from you!!! I always look forward to connecting with you! ------- I appreciate your perspective, it always seems to hit the spot!
So guess what!! I have arranged for a date night for my hubby and I next week ... so you can sound like an old mother hen as much as you want -- always welcome here. Not sure what we're going to do ... we have talked about going to a drive-in diner --- there's a really nice one here ... we're not going into any restaurants .. no way for me, but it will be nice to get out. We shall see! I have re-connected with my respite gal, and she is coming back into the house twice per week so I can get some breaks. She came on Tuesday, and I went to the park and worked on my outline -- Im writing a book; I had put it down for awhile, but I'm ready to get back in it. Took Momma for a drive today with the top down -- it was actually warm here! Whoop! I hope you're doing well Hils --- taking things one day at a time here ... Momma had a good day today -- finishing up season 2 of Downton Abbey (for the second time) -- her favorite, and she wants to watch it again!
Your mom has very good taste - Downton - I absolutely wallow in it!
Glad you’ve organized a night out with hubby - it’s a must - though entirely agree that staying out of restaurants at the moment is very sensible. Ours haven’t reopened yet but even when lockdown lifts some more I am going to be taking very cautious steps. Some of the advice from our government is often so confusing that I am going to make my own mind up about what I feel comfortable with when the time comes.
Great that you are still able to get mom out for a drive and long may that last.
What a beautiful idea of a memory jar!! Your mom looks so happy...Your daughter must have learned from you her 'thoughtfulness'...I so enjoy reading your posts and the ways you find to 'entertain' your mom... She is a very lucky mom to have such a caring daughter and grand
Awww thank you for your kind words Liz! I have learned over the past few years that life can change in an instant, and when you think “that would never happen to me” - Life can slap you into reality. I have lost some very special people in my life in recent years, and so many “would of, could of, should of’s”, but not this time! I am cherishing every single day with my sweet Momma, and yes, I can only pray that my son and daughter are learning from my example to “Honor your Father and Mother” ... Thank you again for words, it touches my heart. - Kim
Kim I know what you mean that life can change in an instant...Last year my hubby died suddenly of a massive stroke when I was out shopping!! I lived with the guilt of not being there for quite a long time..but with family around for support and encouragement I can cherish the memories of our 40 years together!! Keep well...Liz
I am so sorry for your loss Liz. It is a blessing to have family/friends around to support in times of loss. Having over 40 years together is a beautiful story, oh the memories to cherish. ((Hugs)) Kim
Thank you for your kind words —- she is beautiful inside and out; she’s my Momma, but it is true for everyone that knows her. Angel on earth. I love that idea!!! I will look into this right away - her volume is good one day and gone the next, so I’d have to be ready... I fear the day that her volume doesn’t return. This disease is cruel and unrelenting ... every day, I find myself trying to wrap my brain around the mere fact that we are here. 🦋
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