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Memories are made of this

Ratcliffe profile image
15 Replies

I have been going through a strange spell recently, I've suddenly started bursting into tears randomly over the silliest of things when they remind me of things about David. The strangest one was waking up in tears in the middle of the night having dreamed about him. Argh 🙂

Something I have wanted to do for a while is put some pictures together on the wall etc, so having found a suitable frame, I put this together today.

The picture is one of my favourites of David. It is taken of all places in our local IKEA restaurant, but I love it because he is just breaking into his cheeky grin, and we actually met in IKEA! It was taken just over four years ago.

I also wanted to put his D pendant with a picture, we bought each other a chain and D pendant, as we wanted something similar that we could have to think of each other when we still lived in our own houses before we knew what PSP was. We wore them all the time, and David's was only removed on the morning of his cremation and passed to me. I'm still weamring

The card was sent by the funeral place, on the side showing it has David's name and a few words, the reverse has the "All is Well" prose. I decided the name and date side worked better as the writing in the prose is really small.

It's come out just as I wanted it, and is currently sitting on a shelf in the living room and will be put on the wall as soon as the Christmas decorations come down.

I feel really happy having done this, I have wanted to do it since almost straight after he died, but hadn't felt up to it until now. I know it will make me cry initially, but I want memories on the walls, as we never had any pictures of ourselves up before, I guess because we were still together.

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Ratcliffe profile image
Ratcliffe
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15 Replies
Ratcliffe profile image
Ratcliffe

In the middle it should have said I'm still wearing mine.

Darned typing and lack of proofreading !

Derek

Yvonneandgeorge profile image
Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Ratcliffe

Lovely photo, such a sad time Christmas remembering all the good time, not wanting the bad times xxxxx

abirke profile image
abirke

What a wonderful picture. He looked like a fun and genuine person. And what a wonderful project. though not teary, I am scatter brained.....I wake up in the morning feeling as tired as I did 8 hours prior.

Remember tears are cathartic

Bruce's only words he could say were "Do Well" when people would leave the house. My family has now adopted this phrase. So between your man and mine we can be reminded to do well so that all is well in this new journey.....if it isn't well yet, it can get there....right?

Do Well

Andrea

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar

I've been putting up photos, too. It so comforts me to see my Henry smiling at me. (I avoided saying his name here to protect his privacy at first, and then it became habit.) I always have a photo with me when I travel any distance, so I can put it on the dresser where I stay. His smile was so contagious, and it still works. I just have to smile back. Even through tears. Love to you, Derek. It helps to share this with you and the other friends here. Thanks. Peace, Sarah

Marie_14 profile image
Marie_14

Derek you know your strange spells? It's called grieving. David has only been dead a few months?!

It is what we all go through but some earlier/later than others. That is a lovely photo by the way. A good choice! Hope you have as good a Christmas as possible.

Marie x

doglington profile image
doglington

I find it important to see pictures of Chris whilst he could still smile. I think this stage is incorporating the past.

love, Jean xx

Tippyleaf profile image
Tippyleaf

Lovely photo, so good to have these positive memories around us.

Thinking of you today and everyone else facing their first Christmas without their loved ones.

Take care

Love Tippy

raincitygirl profile image
raincitygirl

What a lovely tribute - a warm and delightful looking man :-) When I saw the pendant and chain I knew exactly what it was. Cheers Derek; if not now - soon, I hope.

Anne G.

Allalone2 profile image
Allalone2

Wonderful thought and nice rememberence of him. It's 1 month today since I lost my husband and had a very emotional day yesterday. It's supposed to be a Happy time today but I don't even want to get out of bed!

God Bless everyone

Duffers profile image
Duffers

Lovely photo. Keep his photo in every room so you can see him all the time when you wander round your home. I've got a few. All the best at this time of the year.

Marie

Althea-c profile image
Althea-c

Dear Ratcliffe,

My heart aches for all of us,who went through PSP with our loved ones,and those who are still dealing with it.

David was a fine looking man, and the saddest part is that you had to go back five years.

I too, am sorting out photos,and have to go back five years to find one that reminds me of my well Barry.

I envy your tears.... let them flow, my friend.

I have only cried twice since Barry passed on 27th November.

Maybe because I shed so many tears over five years, as I lost him bit by bit.

You know what that's like, we have all been there.

Just keep going forward, as he would have wanted you to.

As I question,what should I do.

I ask myself, what would Barry want me to do.

Much love,

Althea

Dickwin profile image
Dickwin

Derek (and all who have lost someone to this damned disease) I am so sorry for your loss. But that is a wonderful tribute. May we all find peace as our loved ones are finally rid of PSP.

2017 will not be a year I remember fondly. After 2 years of PD Diagnosis and 4 years of various symptoms, my wife and partner since secondary school was 'upgraded' to PSP in June. She is far from gone, but I have been going through a grieving process of my own for all that is and will be lost. This beautiful and vibrant woman who I couldn't wait to retire with is breaking down in front of me, and I feel so utterly powerless.

Thank you all for your sharing and support. I don't think I would have coped nearly as well as I have without all of you. I will need you all in the coming years, and I know you will be there for me. Thank you!

Warm Regards,

Dick

wallysyaya profile image
wallysyaya

What a beautiful tribute to David. I wish I had something more to say, something more comforting. But my heart is with you.

Ratcliffe profile image
Ratcliffe

Thank you everyone for the wonderful replies and all your thoughts and ideas. This is what makes this place on the web so wonderful.

I hope all of you have had as good a Christmas as possible, whether it be your first Christmas without someone, or several years later,and of course all of you who are still battling on and providing care for your loved ones.

We all know what everyone is going through, at whichever stage of PSP, and that is why we all understand.

Happy Christmas period to you all, and love and hugs for the New Year!

Derek

Allalone2 profile image
Allalone2

Thanks for sharing. I have a shadow box too, but haven't been able to put it together yet, in time I will. I bought a necklace with a heart with a saying on it and also holds some of his hair, a feather charm and his birth stone which I wear. I've had several compliments on it. Also, have pictures around too!

Take care of yourself and hugs sent your way

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