Christmas Solo: This is the first Christmas... - PSP Association

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Christmas Solo

23 Replies

This is the first Christmas I am spending alone in 30 years. It is my choice to do so.

Hope everyone has a good day.

23 Replies
Jkhakh2 profile image
Jkhakh2

Blessed day to you. I know a little about how you feel... my first without my loved one for 27 years. I will be visiting family later today but now just having a quiet time. Jeri

enjoysalud profile image
enjoysalud

Thinking of you........

Margarita from los angeles, but up in Oregon

Kevin_1 profile image
Kevin_1

Jeff

Me too.

My heart bleeds a little. (British understatement).

But I can still visit Liz...

My heart goes out to you both.

Hugs

Kevin

kenh1 profile image
kenh1

Just back home to an empty house. My first Christmas for 55 years without a wife. My sons and their wives have looked after me well. Good Christmas dinner and a nice family get together. My preparations for Christmas were rather chaotic which I put down to grief. My thoughts and prayers are with all those who are missing their loved ones may God grant us His peace. Love, Ken.

Nanny857 profile image
Nanny857

Hi Jeff. My 1st Christmas without Will and although it was with family there were times when I felt alone.

Sending love to you at this difficult time. Nanny857xx

honjen43 profile image
honjen43

This is my 4th Christmas without my love! It still feels lonely, even amongst caring family. Think that is likely to continue, but feelings are not quite as raw as at first.

Hugs to all on their own here!

Jen XXX

SewBears profile image
SewBears

Jeff,

That’s a pretty tree. Our Christmas was just hubby and myself. I burned up the phone wires chatting with long distance friends and relatives today. A few years ago when I was working full time and hubby was not well I stopped decorating. I stopped sending cards. I was just overwhelmed with melancholy and couldn’t bring myself to create a festive atmosphere when my heart just wasn’t in it, I constantly feel exhausted. My husband doesn’t know the difference between a regular day and a holiday. He’s happy eating a special meal and I enjoy cooking so I was able to handle that part. Hubby is here but I’m still very isolated and often lonely. It’s all part of the journey I guess. Without sounding like a grinch I’m glad that today is winding down. And we keep on keeping on. Cheers to you and your beloved Larry. I hope that you were able to enjoy some fond memories. ❤️

journeyofjoy profile image
journeyofjoy

Jeff,

I am glad you are spending it your way. Tonight is my first night alone since Sandy passed away on the 16th. Our out of state son was here a couple of days before he passed and I just took him to the airport this evening. It's going better than expected, being alone on Christmas night. I spent yesterday and today with family.

I have an idea already that it's going to be the little things that hurt more than the big things. Christmas without him is something anticipated but having to do some of his laundry after he was gone was tough. And who knew that going down the bread aisle in the grocery store yesterday, seeing his favorite raisin cinnamon bread, would bring me to tears. I will miss him so much but he didn't deserve to endure this disease any longer.

The dog and I are here and pretending that Sandy is asleep in the bedroom. Pretending is okay, at least for now.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

in reply to journeyofjoy

I didn’t cry yesterday at all and wondered about it. Reading your comment about the bread aisle opened the flood gates. I needed that release. Thanks.

SewBears profile image
SewBears in reply to journeyofjoy

Thank goodness for our fur-babies! I talk to mine like they are people and I swear they understand every word that I say ❤️

Katiebow profile image
Katiebow in reply to journeyofjoy

Pretending is fine in my eyes. Xxx

racinlady profile image
racinlady

Jeff, I hope your day went well.

I couldn't face a whole day alone so decided to see a movie. I've had too many of those (days alone) lately. Chose the feel good movie, "It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood". It did it's job--made me feel good.

Just trying to pick up the pieces and get back to living my life again. I don't even know if I know how to do that after 57 years of marriage, but I'm trying. I'm glad Christmas is over though.

Pat

Spiralsparkle profile image
Spiralsparkle

Sending love & peace to all.

It is an extremely painful & different time of year. The feelings of loss & grief are intensified.

Wishing things were different & these evil diseases hadn't robbed us of our loved ones at whatever stage they maybe suffering at.

🕊️💚🕊️💚🕊️

Northstar1 profile image
Northstar1

Love to you Jeff

Hi Jeff... l like your tree. I hope you had a day of rest, plus good memories. Everyone heals in their own... (l wondered if you baked a cake... l wanted to bake cookies but did not... today l might because it always makes the house smell good & brings back good memories). Sending gentle hugs... Granni B

in reply to

I made an apple pie a few days ago and have been working on that. After it is gone I have to lay-off the baking for a while. I am getting too fat. I only use to eat half of what I made. Now I am eating it all.

doglington profile image
doglington

Thinking of you Jeff.

It's 2 years now but I have struggled for the last month. Unexpected things trigger memories still.

Sometimes it's better on your own than beng with others but feeling alone !

Big hug for you Jeff - I guess we both need it .

Love Jean xx

in reply to doglington

I had been though this once before. This isn’t completely new to me but it is different this time. I know it will take time to get over it. A long time.

Birdman34265 profile image
Birdman34265

Yes I am alone without Kathy after 47 years as she's in a rest home ,but I made the best of a situation ,I keep myself busy , just remember Jeff there are people who love you ,I am sure that thoughts and prayers comfort us who are alone this Xmas,Love and peace to you all...Peter

Kmacgamwell profile image
Kmacgamwell

Thank you for opening this conversation.

Alone in life and then alone in death...

I'm glad Christmas is over.

All the first without out Larry, it's so sad but healing I hope for you Jeff.they say time heals all,take your time only you will know.

Dee

mjtogether profile image
mjtogether

Jeff, thinking of you this holiday and also all the others who are missing their love ones.

Christmas day was a one to reflect for so many of us.

So many changes, so much to have to witness, endure and live with.

But we all have each other on this site who understand and can relate to or with.

Jeff you needed that release too and you will need the next one and the next.

Many hugs to you and "our Special family" this holiday season.

Katiebow profile image
Katiebow

I think it's fine to chose to be alone with your thoughts and be closely in touch with your emotions at times like this, as Jean said you can feel more alone when you are in a room full of people. I did exactly the same last New Years Eve and plan to do the same this year too, it gives you space to reflect and remember all that you both have been through together whether through death or forced separation.

Sending love

Kate xxx

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