I am writing this to let you all know that I have my home back.
Fiona and Paul moved into their own flat last Tuesday. Fiona's reaction was to tell me I had ripped her heart out. I did ask what she thought it had done to me.
Having said that, Fiona has popped in over the weekend with Paul and said it is the best thing that could have happened to her. That did give me a moment to think I definitely did the right thing. I am lucky in that as Paul doesn't work he was able to spend his days searching for a home.
I must admit when Fiona first left I felt strange about having my space back. I now just love being on my own.
Last Wednesday my daughter-in-law Stacey and I went for a coffee and it was lovely. I went with her to collect the twins, Orissa and Oran (aged 4) from nursery. Each of them ran and grabbed my legs. I felt as though I was dreaming. The shout of "grandma" was fantastic. We then went to collect Lakota (aged 6) from school. Another shout of "grandma" and an enormous hug. The eldest Caitlin (aged 15) just said "hi grandma". My grandson, Evan (aged 14) when he saw me his face lit up. I am so lucky to have 5 beautiful grandchildren. At last something really good has happened. I feel so relieved to have put the last year behind me.
My finances haven't improved any as yet but to have my family back is truly amazing.
The photograph below is of my son and all the grandchildren. Stacey took this last summer at the beach. I feel so blessed.
I am looking into solving some other issues but at least I have a more clear understanding of how to do this. My life is looking up again.
Thank you for all the advice and support.
Love and huge hugs
Pat xx
Written by
Baileyboo
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So glad everything is working out. Keep up the good work and sort all your other issues out. Nothing can be as bad as fighting with your daughter. You are one very strong lady Pat, don't forget that.
I discovered this morning that they had emptied the freezer. Admittedly they had done some shopping for us to have meals. My invitation has gone down the plug hole.
I can't understand Fiona doing that as it's not a normal thing to do.
Wish someone would empty my freezer, dread to think what's lurking there. Good excuse to defrost and start again with all your favourite foods, not what others demand!
I "think" I have got rid of all those, but I sure there is the odd bit of mashed potato still present. Oh well, one day the freezer fairy will visit me. I'd like to say, or a power cut, but that would mean warm wine, now that would be a crisis!!!
I am very lucky to have them. Although Evan is the only boy, thankfully, he doesn't hide his feelings.
I am sorry you still have problems with your daughter it's so sad. I have missed a year in the lives of all of them and nobody would think it. The greeting I received said everything.
My daughter is not the person she was before meeting Paul. I don't understand the change. I know Les would be shocked. I am leaving them to it and perhaps things might change. Who knows.
I do know one thing and that is my home is quiet and peaceful with me and the cats. It's very relaxing and I need this time to get to grips with losing Les.
I will be in touch with you soon. I am having 'me time' and don't feel it is wrong or that I have to put on a brave face. It's just nice.
The children are so precious and I am very lucky to have them. I am so happy that we sorted the last year's problems and can enjoy some quality time together.
What a lovely positive post and really good news to hear. I hope your finances are soon sorted but you now know good things can happen after the nightmare of the last few years. Enjoy what can lie ahead if you let it.
So pleased to hear this good news. Though mention of the freezer has made me add this to my list of jobs. Suspect as I used to batch cook and freeze ahead lots of soft food to clear out!!
Hi Pat, you are being very strong about a horrible situation, it's the last thing you need after having nursed Les. Family fall outs are tricky as you want to mend things and get back to a loving relationship and I guess never give up hope of things getting back to where they were. It will be good to have your own space back without the negative atmosphere and I'm sure things will improve with your daughter over time.
Fiona is in touch most days and I know it will smooth over.
I am enjoying my own space at the moment and the summer is a lovely time of year to be able to do anything I want to. Which isn't a great deal but I am comfortable with it. The winter time with short days and long nights may be different but I know at some point in her life she has to move on. It's better that she is with someone she loves. This situation would never have arisen had she not met Paul. No matter how I feel it is essential that she is happy, which she appears to be.
With time we may be able to talk about how much she has changed and things that have been said. If that time comes I think she will be shocked at the change. I don't think this will continue as she has never been so thoughtless.
I will take everything a day at a time and for now we are both happy which is far more important.
I could never have coped with the situation without my friends in this forum who have been so supportive. I am just pleased to be able to ask advice and rant and rave, even cry, you are all so helpful and caring. Anne (Heady) cam always make us smile. That lady is worth her weight in gold.
When Les was given his diagnosis I joined this forum and this is the only positive of him having PSP. I met some amazing people and value their friendship.
Perhaps I shouldn't ask for help now that Les is no longer here but it's like having a safety blanket.
Thank you for your reply and sorry I have written an essay.
I agree Pat, I and many others still feel a need and onnection on his forum and hopefully offer some sound advice to newcomers. I remember taking the plunge to join when Ben was diagnosed and can safely say if was a life saver for me, speaking and getting advice from other members going through the same shit. I guess I will come to an end at some point but until then I will continue to post. K xxx
I know we are all either in the process of dealing with a vile disease or have lost our loved ones. I am grateful that they are there but, in a strange way, wish they hadn't needed to join this.
Pat xx
What a lovely family photo! So glad things are settling down for you. Such a shame when things in our lives go haywire. Many years ago l suffered a similar situation... it is so hard sometimes. Nice to know you can breathe freely in your home & start enjoying those beautiful grandchildren once again. Sending hugs of support... Granni B
I am enjoying the peace and quiet. I know things will sort themselves out.
I am looking forward to spending more time with my grandchildren and pray we never reach a point where it goes haywire again. With a little thought on both sides and communication I am fairly confident we will all be ok.
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