2018 ~ 2019

[JubileeRanch]

As I read so often on this site the heartbreaking news of a loss it is with immense gratitude I come here for solace and understanding.

I have customarily sent out a Happy New Year Card instead of a Christmas Card. I would send it with a montage of pictures, some general news I found interesting from the previous year and a short wrap up of our personal lives...this year (with out the pitures) I will share with my caregiver friends 💜

MMXVIII

I didn’t have a clue what 2018 would bring as I watched the mirror ball drop in Times Square 12 months ago...of course from the comforts of a warm living room! How can any of us know what will be our next triumph or tragity. One thought did occur to me is that 2017 was a very hard year due to my mothers passing.

2018 has proved to be a year of some of the most childish behavior possible by grown adults that hold high offices ever known to man, not only in the Good ‘ol USA but worldwide.

Sexual misconduct has run amuck, actually getting a name....”The Weinstein Effect” who would have believed it! I thought that the “casting coach” was were you sat for an interview, no, lay down for an interview....

Shootings, shootings and more shootings, but lets not forget the occasional knife attacks! Protest abounding worldwide. Emergents gathering at the US border demanding asylum while carrying their country of origins flag and at times burning the American flag. Something not quite right about that picture!

Some hate Trump with such ferocity it boggles the mind. Brett Kavanaugh who is probably one of the most qualified men ever to have been put up for the Supreme Court gets grilled about his high school year book! I guess the protestors have forgotten about Bill Clinton having his way with an intern in the sacred Oval Office! All the while in Paris protestors chant “we want Trump” and Putin gets re-elected with ease.

Oh but there is good news!!! I feel such enormous relief to know Seattle has things under control! They have banned all plastic straws and utensils, I was certainly beginning to worry the year was a complete loss till I heard that...whew!

Would you have just wanted to slit your wrists if you had the unfortunate bad luck to be at Gatwick Airport when a “Drone” brought an entire flight path to a screaming halt....the screaming was coming from the terminal....oh yeah and they now think it was a prank, didn’t really happen.....the equivalent of shouting “FIRE” in a crowded theater for the hell of it.

As this year rushes to a close the Kepler Telescope team beamed a “goodnight” as the mighty telescope ran out of fuel and floats off in dark silence after a job very well done...

As for my life and my family, who would have guessed 12 month ago? I have been met with extreme sadness and then anger and now again sadness....but new life is coming into our family, my daughter-in-law is having another baby boy, what a joy for all of us.

I love to collect quotes, an appropriate one for this past year is from that ancient Book called the Bible.....

“You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” James 4:14

Embrace and enjoy the “little time” when the sunlite streams through that vapor and eluminates our hopes and dreams.....

Happy New Year my new dear friends 💜💜

[raincitygirl]

And a Happier New Year to you Jubilee

XXX Anne G.

[JubileeRanch]

Yes that is a Lab her name is Niki, she is our 4th and she is a rescue...sweetest dog ever....I also have another rescue that is part Lab and part Dalmatian she is all white with black polka dot ears....so cute!!!

[Tippyleaf]

It has indeed been a rollercoaster of a year both in the US, in the world and for you personally. I hope 2019 brings a little calm and peace for you

Love Tippy

[Katiebow]

A beautifully written account of a world gone mad along with more positive thoughts to end on. I'm not feeling very positive as we await the arrival of 2019, just feeling very sad and lonely having left my family after a 10 day stay over Christmas, I will be glad when the normal run of things return after all of the festivities. Need to buck myself up, dust myself down and take life by the scruff of the neck, easier said than done but hoping to feel more like living life to the full, probably down to winter blues! Enough about me, lovely to hear of the new baby news, always lifts your heart. Take good care of yourself and fingers crossed that 2019 brings you some joy.

Love kate xx

[dollydott in reply to Katiebow]

Sending hugs to you Kate

Love Lynda x

[AliBee1]

Thank you for sharing. A Happy New Year to you too. May it be better for you. With reference to the bible I wrote this as I really find it difficult to see where my life is taking us. Love AliBee

Proverbs 3. 5-6

So many times it is hard to see

what are God’s plans, and how it will be.

It’s very like driving at night in a car,

as with the headlights on, you can only see so far.

What’s ahead on the road is out of view,

but you trust that the lights will see you safely through.

You cannot rely, on your understanding of the road ahead,

you have to trust that the lights will guide you instead.

So it is when in the Lord you trust,

as he keeps your path straight and your life adjusts.

[JubileeRanch in reply to AliBee1]

Alibee1😘

A wonderful analogy.....

I have a daily devotional by Sarah Young which I do every morning first thing as well as read one Chapter in Proverbs....helps me so much.

Traversing these dark and winding roads that we are presently on can be so frightening. One of my husbands College friends comes to the Ranch to visit him or take him to lunch about twice a month, he knows the trials of caregiving all too well....his wife passed away several years ago from a 7 year battle with cancer....he told me it was so tough but at at least she had her mind. That is such a difficult part of this disease seeing a person reduced to childlike behavior.

I was thinking yesterday that I can barely remember how my husband was normal because as I reflect back I beleive he was having symptoms of PSP for as long ago as 5 maybe 6 years, albeit they were slight. Knowing what PSP looks like I can see that some of his responses back then were the beginnings of what was to come. I had to laugh at myself thinking of some of MY behavior.....I think I will call it CCB, Caregiver Crazy Behavior!

My days are so filled with anxiety, sadness and anger that I have found it hard to answer a simple question....my son asked me something yesterday and I just looked at him and had to say, “I don’t know my mind is mush....”. One of my friends told me, “I want my fun funny friend back, this disease is robbing you of your personality, your health and all your joy”. How true....new year and a new attitude in spite of the circumstances....a tall order but it’s survival....

Hugs and kisses to all from Jubilee Ranch!!

Btw.....this ranch does not have a webpage....there is a “Jubilee Ranch Ministries” that’s not me....actually I am The BarNS Jubilee Ranch and still no webpage, hahahaha, I guess I am off the grid so to speak, if I ever start selling my Honey from the Bees 🐝 or eggs I may get a webpage....no time for that at the moment!

💜💜💋💜💜

[AliBee1 in reply to JubileeRanch]

Thank you so much for sharing that. It really hit the spot.

I don't know about 'CCB, Caregiver Crazy Behavior'. Before my husband was diagnosed I think mine should have been called 'Two Year Old Tantrum Behaviour' !!!

In the book 'The Selfish Pigs Guide to Caring' which made me really giggle it says that when you are a carer your Piglet's condition becomes yours. You will have to read the book to find out why the person you are caring for is called a Piglet and then your friend can read it too and see what a crazy life we live. My sister said that she never really understood till she read it and the giggling was so good for me as like you I seem to be under a cloud a lot of the time.

By the way my grandfather used to keep bees and I have such happy memories of working with him so thank you for that. Love and hugs AliBee xx

[JubileeRanch in reply to AliBee1]

Oh my gosh I am getting that book today....I am desperate need of a good laugh!

Every time I look at him I am so mad that this PSP is stealing our retirement....then I stop and think.....oh no he hasn’t been mine for years! So then I get even more mad....such a ridiculous cycle. I bought my self a little bouquet of flowers the other day, that brightened me up 🙂 💐

[raincitygirl in reply to JubileeRanch]

Here's some more...💐🌸🌹🌻🌞

[wear1947 in reply to JubileeRanch]

Wise words! If you could install a glass wall between you and your husband, you could have less anguish, less guilt, and let life and illness continue alongr time. Accompanying with love, tenderness, calm, serenity. Without destroying us, because destroyed we would not help. We need a relief

Besos, have a happy and creative 2019

Elena

[LuisRodicioRodicio]

Thank you.

I wish all to be happy, whatever the reality that you live.

Happiness be the way, not the goal .. "

A big hug.

Luis

[raincitygirl in reply to LuisRodicioRodicio]

Happy New Year to you and your wife, Luis 🌞🌟🌸🌈

Anne G.

[LuisRodicioRodicio in reply to raincitygirl]

Thank you Anne.

A big hug, courage and luck.

Luis

[wear1947 in reply to LuisRodicioRodicio]

Happy new year Luis!

I pick up your words in my bucket for 2019.

Warm regards

Elena

[LuisRodicioRodicio in reply to wear1947]

A big hug Elena.

Happy way on 2019.

Luis

[raincitygirl in reply to wear1947]

Happy New Year Elena😊!

Anne G.

[dollydott]

Wishing you happiness for 2019

Love Lynda x

[daddyt]

A happier New Year to Jubilee, and a new grandchild on the way... what a wonderful joy.

Tim

[JubileeRanch]

This will be our 3rd....their 3rd boy!!! My daughter-in-law so wanted a girl and actually I did too because this family are ALL boys, just one girl in 4 generations!

[Tttp]

Hi there, Happy New Year 2019

Peace, Love, and Happiness,

Your post well said. Nettie

[Artteach10]

It’s better than we can’t see past the beam of light on the road. PSP doesn’t promise much of a future so 2019 is knowing that it will be more challenging than 2018. A kind word, a phone call, pastor stopping by, my kids bringing a meal, coffee with a friend are the true treasures in life and we will be blessed. Happy New Year to all. Nancy

[JubileeRanch in reply to Artteach10]

One good thing I do see out of this horrible PSP thing is just what you wrote Artteach10, we learn to appreciate all those little things that so often everyone takes for granted....such a good thing to remember!

Love and kisses to all!

[Dickwin]

Thank you and Happy New Year, but please don't politicize this forum. This is one of the last places I can come to that is culture war free. Let's PLEASE keep it that way.

Warm Regards,

Dick

[JubileeRanch in reply to Dickwin]

So sorry Dickwin, my new year cards I send friends and family are really tongue in cheek for the most part, just thought I would share with my online support....I agree we all need a break and I treasure the ability to find people who actually DO understand the tremendous challenges we all face....people who know me know how unpolitical I am so sorry you were offended....thank you for your input xox

[Dickwin in reply to JubileeRanch]

Jubilee,

No need to apologize as you did not offend me in any way. But I have watched as politics has almost completely destroyed most of the internet over the last 20 years. There are a handful of sites that have not been affected, and this is one of them. This site is my life line as I cope with the nightmare that this damned disease has foisted on the love of my life and my family. I am as apolitical as one can be. But I do hate the cancer of divisiveness on both sides that seems to touch virtually everything these days. I've never joined Facebook for that reason.

I don't want this site to become like Facebook. Let's keep this a politics and culture war free zone. This site is just too important to all of us to allow that to happen. I know you meant no offense and I hope you were not offended by my entreaty. I am just trying to protect this place. It's too important not to.

Regards,

Dick

[JubileeRanch in reply to Dickwin]

I too have NEVER joined Facebook or will I!!!! For the very reason you are saying, it’s a place people do a lot of venting and a lot of bragging!!!! Like a hundred pictures of a party you weren’t invited to or opinions you just really don’t care to hear.....we are for sure on the same page....the divisiveness is insane....I really don’t understand it.....

I am assuming that the “love of your life” is your wife.....I tearfully write this because I felt I knew the man I married and obviously did not 😭. How I wish I had been the love of someone’s life.....I think most people would say men stray because they are unhappy at home and their spouse is awful.....it just wasn’t true with us....I am a gourmet cook, keep a beautiful house have wonderful children whom we both participated with in school, sports, vacations etc etc......we were the all American dream family and he was living a lie.....I had NO idea.....sure we weren’t perfect but nothing that would constitute what he did for years and years....with seemly no remorse???? Her response to this was “We never took time away from our family’s!” OMG, I guess they are both alike, just plain and simple narcissist.

I am so anxious to get with my therapist, I have only seen her once just before Christmas but I despartly need her.....maybe to just vent.....I see her Thursday.

And here I am venting to you....sorry Dickson, you sound so nice.....and I am particularly sorry for your loved ones PSP, it’s a dream snatcher, taking our hopes and dreams to a dark hole.....

[JubileeRanch]

Sorry the auto correct put in Dickson instead of Dickwin.....