Mothers battle

[Cwolpe]

Wow what a long summer. I haven't been on here much this summer. Mom just get a worse as the days go by even with the cbd oil. She has been waking up confused lately. Wondering what's going on with her. Is this normal ? She has her days and so do I. There are days (alot lately) that I look at her and just cry and can't stop. Is this normal ? Last night really hit hard for me when she called me into the bedroom and asked me why was she alive? What was she living for? And just when I think my heart can't break anymore she pops out with that? Has anyone else experienced this with their loved one ? Confusion , and asking that questions. God I feel so broken then I look at her beautiful face and start to cry as I realize that she is the one that is broke. And it hurts soo bad because I can't fix her.

[Hidden]

It’s hard not to be able to do anything to help as much as you want to. To be physically and emotionally exhausted doesn’t help. Neurological disease take a toll on more then the person who has it. Cry if it helps you deal with this disease. Everyone here knows how you feel. You aren’t alone.

[Cwolpe in reply to Hidden]

I'm so grateful for you all on this site. I really don't know where I would be if I didn't find it. I love everyone on here.

[dollydott]

Oh Cwolpe

It is completely normal to feel like this it's horrible what we have to see our loved ones go through

Cry as much as you like. I think it helps to release the feelings of helplessness

Continue doing what your doing loving and caring for your mum. She knows you are there for her.

Sending you a big hug

Lynda 💕

[Cwolpe in reply to dollydott]

Thank you Lynda. I know it's not healthy to keep this pain in and I'm grateful thatI have this site to fall on. Much love, Christy.

[NHGrace]

We’re all just doing our best, right? My mom expressed a desire to die multiple times, and when she did die, to be honest, it helped me to know she was “ready,” but I realize that’s unhelpful (maybe even painful) to think about now. I stayed very stoic, never letting her see the pain and angst I had inside watching her go through it all. I don’t know now whether that was better or worse. But I felt like if I admitted the cruelty, then I would crumble. A month after her death, I’m still haunted by it all. All we can do is show up! The rest will just have to work itself out. Hang in there. We’re rooting for you.

[Cwolpe in reply to NHGrace]

Thank you . Thank you all. I'm so glad I found this site. It has kept me sane.

[Cwolpe]

Thank you. Knowing that you guys on this site are there for me is a God send. And I appreciate it soo much.

Much love.