I may sound very horrible today because I am just so sad and mad. My sister would rather talk to a Stephen minister than to me. My sister has nothing to say to me. But she loves her weekly appointment when the Stephen minister comes in and closes the bedroom door so they can talk privately. (A Stephen minister is a Chrisian layperson trained to provide spiritual care and support to a person in distress such as illness, grief, and other terrible things.) I am outside the room, cooking dinner in the kitchen. I don't have my sister anymore as a person who is at all there for me. She has no idea of who I am or what I feel. She doesn't seem to care about anyone except how they will meet her needs. I know it's the disease. Grief is a disease too. Can't there be understanding for me also? We can't just watch a movie together or banter wittily back and forth or dream big dreams or play Scrabble. We can't say what we think or wish or are mad about or happy about. On some level does the Stephen minister get to do that? I am jealous of the Stephen minister. She says to me what a lovely person my sister is. The Stephen minister doesn't even really know her--just the shell or just the core? She never knew her healthy. Maybe she sees the essence of my sister. I have dreamed the essence of my healthy sister at night a few times. Those are wonderful moments. I cannot for the life of me imagine her dreaming the essence of me. Does the person with PSP lose the ability to be tender to a loved one? Or express appreciation or fondness?