Mum can still make me giggle

[AJK2001]

The Physio came this week and gave us some more exercises to do including one where I sit in front of Mum and she has to reach forward & across to touch my hand, right hand to right hand was done successfully but she couldn't quite reach with her left hand, so what does she do, she grabs my left hand with her right hand and moves it to her left hand, it was so funny, it was such an instinctive move, we looked at each other for a few seconds and then just both burst out laughing (well, as close as Mum gets to laughing these days). It was a lovely moment and so indicative of the real Mum, if I can't do something one way I will find another way to do it - she is a very determined lady.

[doglington]

Its so important to treasure these moments. They are such a comfort to me now, after his death, to remind me of our shared humour.

We made a game of exercises as I dressed him - able to laugh rather than feel humiliated.

xx

[shagmens in reply to doglington]

Thanks for sharing doglington. My father and I have never had the greatest warm and fuzzy relationship growing up. However it is moments like the one described above that I share with my Dad that I will ensure I treasure. Thank you for the comments.

[AJK2001 in reply to doglington]

That must have been such a boon for your husband, to turn something unpleasant into a giggle. It's surprising how inventive you can get and also how much fun you can get out of something simple. xxx

[HilsandR in reply to doglington]

I always found it was the lighter moments that saved my sanity, and I think we've swapped notes before as your marriage, full of humour, sounds very much like ours was. Ours was a house so full of laughter until PSP did its best to take that but R never lost his sense of finding the fun in any situation and neither did I, even during the darkest times. I have some hilarious tales that I could tell but am always conscious not to offend others at what might appear to be black humour when these illnesses are nothing to laugh about, BUT I never laughed at my husband, only ever with him and he would often lead the way in what had the potential to be an absolute howler. R could not dress himself so the routine every morning was to get myself ready, get his clothes for the day ready on the bed, shower him, dress him. One morning I turned my back for just a moment to get something only to turn back and find he had put his underpants on his head. I asked him whether he was sure that he wanted to wear THAT hat. He said he didn't know what I was talking about so I moved him to the mirror. I saw the twinkle in his eye and the rare smile appearing and then he said to me "I'm sorry to tell you this love but I think YOU are going mad." Well, we both collapsed onto the bed in hysterics, the tears of laughter rolling down my face. That moment made the day for us both and one I often think about now that he has gone, along with many other priceless moments that I will always treasure, black humour or not. Those moments kept me from going under and I know for sure added some joy to his life, to the end his humour seemed to be the one thing that kept flickering, ready to burst into life. There's enough heartache by the pure nature of this site so sharing a few stories of the lighter side of things is so therapeutic. HilsandR.x

[doglington in reply to HilsandR]

So true !

I wrote here early on in PSP progress how early one morning Chris appeared at the door with his arms high in the air trapped by his underpants. He'd managed to put all his clothes on but not necessarily in the right order or place. He said he wanted to surprise me !!

Yes we certainly had black humour too. On one occasion the Parkinson nurse annoyed me - being unable to help - and she said there are other options. I knew she meant a nursing home but said You mean euthanaesia ? She was so shocked but it made us laugh until we cried. I also used to say all anger was with PSP not him !!

We had Humour to the end.

I think our husbands would have got on well. - - -

love, Jean x

[HilsandR in reply to doglington]

Well they would certainly have looked like twins, Jean, with their preferred choice of the way they wore their underpants. Chris's comment "I wanted to surprise you" has tickled me to tears - just priceless. I'm supposed to be getting lunch ready for a friend due at 1 but am sitting here giggling away, enjoying your spirit lifting response - thank you. Hilsx

[raincitygirl in reply to HilsandR]

I just loved this story - both yours and Jean's 😄 My best moments with hubby were the "black humour" ones too ❣️

Anne G

[HilsandR in reply to raincitygirl]

Laughter is such a great coping mechanism, so pleased you shared funny moments with your hubby too, Anne. R died last October and I do focus more on the funny stuff now than the challenges that we faced, and remembering those funny times is without doubt helping me through the grieving process, such precious memories. In my head I can hear his laughter at any time I just want to remember. I hope you are doing OK and have the support of family and friends as I know it's still early days for you. Hils.x

[raincitygirl in reply to HilsandR]

.. And even earlier days for you, Hils! Thanks, I think I'm doing as well as anyone would: I've started a bit of volunteer work, I travelled on my own for a few weeks this winter - but I still feel like "a stranger in a strange land" being alone again. My life goals, last time I was single, were so different, and all that I aimed for is done now. So, to discover new purpose in life: Big challenge!. How are you doing??

Hugs XXX. Anne

[HilsandR in reply to raincitygirl]

A great description, Anne, "feeling like a stranger in a strange land." I have found life without R to be very surreal, almost like I am on the outside looking in at a life that is not mine. I can be in a room full of family and friends but feel totally alone, I feel like the missing piece of jigsaw that will remain lost forever unable to complete the picture. I made a promise to R that I would be OK without him and as hard as it is I will keep that promise. I try not to think too far ahead and at the moment just go with the flow, good days, bad days, but not sinking, so like you I guess I am doing as well as anyone could at this stage. I know I will get through this, just early days I guess to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it will be there, just got to keep heading towards it. Well done for travelling on your own, it shows your strength even if you are not feeling it. I have booked on a group solos walking holiday in Tuscany (Italy) in October, already feeling nervous about it but something is spurring me on. Life keeps going on and there is still a lot of joy to be had, especially found in my gorgeous 2 year old granddaughter. Hugs to you too and I hope you can also find that light at the end of the tunnel. Hils.xx

[raincitygirl in reply to HilsandR]

Thank you Hils- and I relate totally to every image you described! Good luck with the trip! Group solos..thats something for me to look up...

XX. AG

[Dadshelper]

Good for her! The old "if you can't get the person to the mountain, then move the mountain to the person" attitude.

Ron

[AJK2001 in reply to Dadshelper]

That's pretty much sums up Mum to a T.

[dollydott]

A lovely moment shared and one that you will always remember

Made me smile

Love Lynda 😊😊

[AJK2001 in reply to dollydott]

It's nice to be able to share a happy moment.

[SewBears]

I laughed out loud when I read this and I really needed it. Thank you!

[AJK2001 in reply to SewBears]

A pleasure Sewbears, laughter after all is the best medicine

[shagmens]

Thank you for sharing. My father has always been a funny guy and at times will make us laugh even with his PSP ailment which sounds like he might be at the same stage as your mother.

[AJK2001 in reply to shagmens]

It's just nice to be able to share a lighter moment with folks and a good way of making sure I don't forget them myself.

[Katiebow]

A beautiful moment to treasure, humour always wins over. xxx

[Hidden]

What a lovely share... Giggles are to be treasured. Sending hugs... Granni B