Today has been a bad day. We have had a couple of weeks of being stable but today I feel my world change again for the worse and I have lost another bit of her . Mum will not listen to me when I try to help her and instruct/tell her so she will not fall or hurt herself. She is again asking how and where to go for a wee ( she wears pads as now no longer aware at night when she goes and large pads in the day incase of accidents ) her mobility is getting worse and we can just about manage a transfer from bed to chair and wheelchair to chair/toilet but she fell last night and it's knocked her confidence , she has asked tonight to go home but we are home in the house she has lived in since being a child ,she has asked in front of my 9yr old why is he living here ? She told me she doesn't like anything I cook, she is never comfortable always in pain but thinks she tells me when it's worse and needs meds but she doesn't tell me and acts as if I should know because of course I'm telepathic ! No one seems to want to know , family say I'm doing a good job and they are there for me and to just ask but when I reached out today in tears no one came . Our local hospice where mum is under a palliative care dr has forgotten us for follow up after an assessment stay in August/September I have called today and they are sorry and will get mum in ASAP .
Why does everything happen/change all at once It's not like we haven't enough to cope with is it !
Sorry for rant just needed to vent and I know my psp family are always there . Xx