Is it possible dad doesnt know this is the end ??

I have read they do know. But yesterday a doctor came out. She told us dad has weeks not months. He doesnt talk anymore or eat and has been in bed for 2 weeks. All i wanted was to hear him say how he felt. Anyway the doctor asked me and mum would we like her to tell him. Why oh why did i say yes 😟 ....he cried mum cried. Its as if he didnt even realise and now i feel terrible guilt. Although hed been crying alot last few weeks when ever we asked was he ok. I still wish i knew if he knew. And it wasnt my fault he now knows he is dying. Sorry if im making no sense. Just feel terrible guilt 😢😢 xx

11 Replies

  • Mum is wishing he wasnt told. My brothers feel worse now he knows and i feel like i destroyed the peacefullness of the situation.....but surely he knew ? He whispered to me " help " ....and when i was leaving i said see u in morning dad. He manage to say i might not wake up in morning.....brike my heart xx

  • Hi I dont think they know and the reason I say this is because my partner never says anything about his decline he just plods on day after day oblivious to it. It is awful just awful x

  • Not talking about it does not mean he does not know....and it's ok if that's the way he can handle it

  • No its not OK none of it.

  • I'm sorry Of course it's not ok hurts and that is not ok ..forgive me...

    PSP sucks ....period,...not ok


  • Hi Gel68, your dad probably did know but talking about it makes it real doesn't it. Don't beat yourself up about it, you can't change what has been said or what will happen, but see him as much as possible and talk about your day. Speak to him like you did when he was well and let him know you love him.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this very sad and stressful time.

    Sending you a big hug.


  • Hello, gel68. You did what you thought was best. If you had done the opposite you would have been riddled with guilt, in case you had done the wrong thing. I still wonder if I should have told my 84 year old father that he was dying. Guilt is going to trouble you whatever you choose to do. Put it away and concentrate on the here and now. You still have your father for a short while . It is apparent that you love your father, tell him and try to make him as comfortable as possible. Ignore what others say,a death can cause people to react in strange ways. Sorry to sound like a maiden aunt but you are a kind, caring person don't let guilt upset you. Sending a great big hug and prayers. X

  • Ohhh pain indeed....several things to help you rest assured. PSP patients cannot control their emotional response...they may laugh way too much or cry inordinately. That the doctor told him something I bet he already knew ... it does not put more guilt on you.....the neurologist told B that this was progressive and that it was usually pneumonia that the patient dies from. Granted he did not say YOU GOING to DIE... but the doc did tell well, both of us ....that (pneumonia) is the final stage...B knows he is going to die...I have not told him this per se, but we talk about things like funeral and donating brain etc...

    So it's out time for guilt...If it's true dad has just a few weeks...then spend the weeks reading a book to him; giving him a foot massage and all points in between to keep bed sores down; when you can...go ahead and hug him and tell him that he was a great the things that some people never got a chance to do as death took their loved ones in an instant....No time for guilt my love.....


  • agree avb

    lol jill


  • Agree. There's no right or wrong and what's done can't be changed. It is ok for him to be sad about his situation. I feel like Abirke that you can help and support and show your love. Don't waste this precious time with guilt.

    Love and a hug, Jean x

  • All ur comments have really made me feel better i thanku u all....i know having the time is better. Im a widow but my husband died suddenly and i didnt get the change so i will make sure i have it with dad to u all xxx

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