Just wanted to say a big thank you to those of you who suggested I contact our local hospice for some respite care for dad. The senior nurse came out today to talk to us about what they had to offer. I was SO nervous, as this is really important for my mom to get a break, but never thought dad would agree to it. Well, he DID! Not only that, he seemed very pleased and asked when was the earliest he could go in!
Mom and I were a little bit hysterical with giggles at one point, as we were riddled with guilt, dreading suggesting it, etc, and he almost snapped the nurse's hand off with the offer..maybe he can't wait to get away from us!
Still can't quite believe what the hospice have offered - one day each week, they'll fetch and bring back, he gets access to doctors, consultants, physios, speech therapists, hair dressers, reflexologists and massage therapists. They provide a home cooked three course meal, with an alcoholic drink too - I think this is what sold it for him!
So very, very relieved this evening. We're waiting to hear when the first day will be, and I'm going to take my mom out for lunch and do some clothes shopping, get her kitted out with something nice to give her a lift.
Can't express how much I appreciate this group already. Thank you all!
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sasmock
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Fantastic news sasmock! I loook forward to hearing how your dads gets on! And I hope you and your mum enjoy some lovely, much needed time together!! 👏 X
Isn't it great. I also asked the hospice myself then got referral through GP. We only get 1 day a fortnight, for 12 times, then review but I don't care. It's bliss. Happy shopping. Your mum will love it. Marie
Very pleased for you. I don't think I would be sane now if Mum didn't go to the day unit. She wasn't keen at first and I went with her for first few sessions. She know enjoys it and I get some time to breathe even if it is a mad dash around the supermarket!
She feels safe there as like you say got the Dr's and the nurses looking after her. I don't think she would go to a normal day centre as such.
I have found the hospice day centre to be wonderful for both of us. Ben is usually reluctant to attend any other facililities but actually enjoys the day at the hospice, they are so kind and friendly. He won't get involved in art or exercise sessions but has hand massages, reflexology and the odd game of trivial persuits. They never pressurise him but he gets lots of tlc and a lovely meal and glass of wine. I'm sure that your dad will have a very warm and caring day and you and your mum will get quality time away from the stress of constant caring. Enjoy!
Ben sounds like F, he reluctant to go to the hospice, he joins in the physio, but that's it, but the staff talk to him(might be a bit of a one sided conversation) ours don't provide a meal though, so I have to send him off with a sandwhich, they have sandwhich man and somebody gets fish and chips, but he'd go hungry rather than buy something!!!
Now they have told him he's had is 12 weeks and is going to be 'discharged' he's quite upset! Not as much as me tho!
But the hospice has been the only little bit of support we have received, I'm hoping we can get referred back
Hi Debbie, funny how different each hospice seems to be. They haven't mentioned a time limit with Ben so I'm not asking as it's my only respite time. Do you have carers for F, I'm finding it difficult having them in as feel I could do just as well myself but I realise it is a good thing to have someone take the reigns for 45mins 6 times a week. Hope life isn't too difficult D, it's hard isn't it!
I remember when J did the same hospice one day a week and they would bath him too. Then it all stopped saying he was a danger trying to stand up in the wheelchair etc and that they needed to offer his place to someone else x
That's awful! We were assured that whatever problems dad presents, he'll be supported and welcomed. I'm so sorry you had this experience. Were the hospice used to PSP patients? Ours , for some reason, has several PSPers in there and they're all well versed in the issues it can create.
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