Well I collected P from respite earlier this morning and he is clean, well fed and as far as I can tell quite well cared for. Unfortunately, the care home has used his wheelchair to move him everywhere (probably because he fell after he had only been there a couple of hours !), which means he is extremely difficult for me to manage him at home now.
After my week`s respite, I now realise how difficult it is to handle P, and I know now that it can only be a matter of time until he has to go into permanent care. Obviously, I am going to try my best to keep him here as long as possible, but after not seeing him for a week it has been quite a shock to the system when I remember how hard it has been for such a long time now.
Although the week went really well (for both of us I think) it has focused my mind more on the future and it has made me realise that I have to make a very hard decision sometime soon. No-one else can make the final decision, I know it has to be me, but even with the support of our sons and all the professionals I deal with, I feel heartbroken already.