Thank you every one for the very helpful responses to my dilemma (spelt correctly this time! ) They are interesting and varied and come from experience which I appreciate . We have had the OT in and she accepted that the only place for our wet room was where we were going to put it and that it would be a tight squeeze (unfortunately no garage or even space for one ). The steps down into the kitchen come right in the middle of the room and the incline of the ramp to be manageable would mean it would have to go right across the kitchen and end up a foot above the floor on the opposite wall . The OT couldn't find a solution to that one and called in her superior who was equally foxed .I called in the architect /builder who originally did the barn conversion on our house and because of the configuration of the layout couldn't come up with any practical solution either , other than virtually knocking down one side of the house to build an exterior corridor to get from one level to another which would so have altered the house so much that I suspect one would only be able to sell it on the another wheelchair user besides which it was a hugely expensive option and didn't really fit the bill . So we have explored the options as far as we can . I put a wardrobe and chest of drawers in my wife's bed sitting room for two reasons - one I wanted her to have some control over her life and two she has always been a stylish dresser and can you imagine how many times I have come down stairs with what I thought was the right item only to be told "not that one the other grey one " and then "no I have changed my mind - I don't want grey I want black but not the v neck ' etc etc On the whole at the risk of sounding sexist I think "chaps " don't care quite so much ! Mind you being ever so slightly colour blind doesn't help either!But I have taken on board your ideas and suggestions and they will certainly help me make a considered decision .
I think probably it is most likely my wife's mental state which will tip the balance .Today she couldn't sit at the kitchen table for nearly half an hour because I wasn't pushing her chair in the way I normally do it apparently . I couldn't understand what she was talking about and she couldn't explain it. So she stood up I pushed her up to the table she said "wrong" stood up (with help) and so we went on and on . All ended in tears . And in the end it was something to do with the position of the wheels on the tiled floor . They weren't in their usual place . I despair - still Hospice day tomorrow - hurray . Love to you all Georgpa