I Miss You Mum

[hmfsli]

I miss you Mum. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss your apple crumble. I miss your level-headedness. I miss your sense of fun. I miss your "nagging". I miss spending Sunday afternoons dolls-housing with you. I miss your "well this won't do" busy-ness. I miss your support. I miss your constant, loving presence and all those things I took for granted when you were here. I miss you; the you you were before PSP took you from us and the you you were as you faced down this awful disease with grace and courage. I miss you Mum.

[nomansland]

Having been with Madeline since high school I look at her downward trip 24/7 now for approx. 10 years and I can really understand how you feel,.your life is likely mostly ahead of you and I,m pretty certain your mom will always be able to make you feel the love be it from afar...try to cope a bit more each day until you make the total transition,you will be in my prayers,Rollie

[hmfsli in reply to nomansland]

Hi Rollie,

Prayers are always appreciated. Mostly I am coping ok but from time to time the loss gets overwhelming. When I wrote the post I was overwhelmed, today I am ok. I know Mum is with the Lord and free from PSP and I am convinced I will see her again some day but I miss her now.

h

[nomansland in reply to hmfsli]

You will see her...she sees you now,that is her advantage,I die a thousand deaths looking and taking care of Madeline, I wish that I could be as strong as her....as you said...I miss her now,love to you and try to be well for mum,s sake,Rollie

[jimandsharynp]

hmfsil, You expressed the feeling of so many of us on this site!! Thanks for posting. You have some great memories and as time passes they will replace the visions of her struggle. They are there and you will and have already found them. Hugs!! Jimbo

[hmfsli in reply to jimandsharynp]

Hi Jimbo,

Hugs back to you too. Memories are a precious thing and I treasure them all, good and bad. The good for the comfort they bring and the bad to spur me on to reach out to others in the same situation and offer what help and strength I can.

love

h

[wifemo]

Dear hmfsli -

It doesn't seem like it now, but it will get easier - it took a year to get over my husband's passing, and now, 18 months into the new chapter, I am only just finding the enthusiasm to take up some of the things which had to be set aside. The worst times are birthdays and anniversaries.

Do you have a friend you can just pour out your feelings to, and who will sympathise if not understand? Be sure in the knowledge that those of us left behind do understand, and sometimes need to be reminded of that dark place so we realise how far we have come.

By staying on here, you may well be able to help someone else, so thanks for posting.

Thinking of you and wishing you strength.

Mo

[hmfsli in reply to wifemo]

Hi Mo,

I am very blessed to have a great family and good friends who are there for me. It's good to hear from those ahead on the journey through grief that the way does get easier. Thank you.

h

[Peter3]

Dear hmfsli,

Its all those little aspects of life we miss when a mother leaves us no matter the cause of their passing.

PSP robs us all of our loved ones even before the inevitable happens. Time is the best healer and it also allows the memories of PSP to fade and happier memories to take their place. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.

With love

Peter3.

[hmfsli in reply to Peter3]

Peter3,

Thank you. You are so right, it is the small things that we miss and, although some of those small things went missing some time before Mum died, somehow how her passing makes the absence of them more noticeable. Mum had stopped doing the dolls house 6 or more years before she died as her fingers grew less nimble but the sense of having lost something seems to have strengthened.

I'm going to be kind to myself and make an apple crumble for pudding on Sunday.

love

h

[monkeylaura]

Dear hmfsli

I have been feeling like this for such a long time. My mum seems trapped and I miss how she was. I still think of her before the PSP and when she is in my mind it is the old mum I picture. Even though she is a million miles away from that mum now. I think this is a disease with immense personal suffering which goes on and ............

My mum has awareness of her condition and that hurts so much. She was in such a mood the other day being nasty and aggressive so not the old mum. She said to me "Wrong mother" because she knows that must be torturous. Poor mum.

Keep strong.

[nannygoon]

That was so nice to read! I feel the same way about my sister who has PSP we were so close and now she can't communicate and I miss her so much!