Unfortunately I have still not had access to see her since October or any contact on how she is.
I miss her every minute but this week leading up to her Birthday has been extremely painful.
Facebook has this morning produced memories and I've been comforted by the messages Mum had typed over the last 11 years and can see the decline in her ability too. For her 70th two years ago we had a tea party & I've got some lovely photos of us together. Fond memories to always treasure.
I've arranged today to spend the day with my closest two friends to mark the day. We are going to a Lavender farm. Mum has being using Lavender essential oil for decades, way before it was trendy. She has always been into natural health.
Then this evening we are going to a fundraiser for research into all dementias & rare conditions held by the local arm of Alzheimer's Research UK. CBD & PSP are covered by their research. It is a comedy night so it should be fun.
Sending love to you all.
Hugs
Sam X
Written by
Spiralsparkle
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I'm pleased that Liz is settled currently. I hear you on that waiting for the storm to hit again.
The emptiness...that is a biggie indeed.
our dog Amber is very good at bossing me & helps me smile when I really don't feel I have one in me.
The wood fired baking sounds interesting.
I find nature therapeutic also.
Hugs to you & hugs to Liz when you next visit.
X
Sending you hugs of support on this special day. I am glad you will be busy with friends. It's toooo bad we can't fix all the broken systems in the world. Granni B
How I want to fight all the systems that played a part in breaking our relationship apart so traumatically & not bothering to understand her condition. For now I focus on getting myself through each day.
I know the truth, I hope they never forget her name.
A bit lost to be honest. I feel it all more now than I did when G died. I was very controlled then. Too much so now I look back. Then the tears came and I have days when I cope and days when I just want to howl. I wonder if these feelings will ever go. Where is the lavender farm by the way? Maybe I need some?
What you are feeling is not normal & natural response to grief. You will never forget G.
As carers I feel we go through such traumatic experiences watching the changes, being on high alert all the time, not being able to change what is occuring & feeling hopeless & helpless and so much more.
The lavender farm is just outside of Newport, it closes on August bank holiday. If you do make a trip maybe we could meet up?
Thinking of you Sam as you go through this difficult day, missing your mum on a special birthday. However you are right to spend it with special friends. Enjoy, you deserve it. Sending lots of love and a big hug. xx
So sad for you, Sam. Some things can be so difficult to put right - life can sometimes deal us a rotten hand but don't lose hope.
I am glad you have good friends to get out and about with and whatever happens, the good memories of your mum will always be your greatest treasure that nobody can take that away.
Yes I'm very grateful for these two special friends who for the last twenty years we have stuck by each other through the ups and downs of what life has thrown at us.
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Mum diagnosed with PSP yesterday
A Poem For Mum:
deterioration of mum 
A newcomer - Mum with PSP
