I'm 5 weeks post op following my successful prostectamy. I've recovered very well. Incontinence almost gone, just a few drops now and then.
I've been taking Cialis 5mg every day since surgery. No matter how I try, I just can't get any type of erection, or have a dry orgasm. It even hurts my penis inside when I try to wank.
I'm starting to feel quite horny again, but so upset set I can't masturbate at all. Even flacid, I can't get anywhere near an orgasm.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
Neil
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Wakeyguy63
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Hello Brian, thanks so much for your kind words. I agree with what you say, we all heal at different rates. It's as you will I'm sure agree, when we've spent our lives being able to relieve ourselves very easily, prior to the prostectamy, hits hard to accept everything down there seems to be asleep. The one thing I am noticing is that if I try to get a bit of a hard on and try a gentle masturbation, I'm constantly peeing whilst doing it. It's so off putting.
How long has it been since your operation?. Are you doing ok now?
Be gentle kind and patient with yourself. Sex is not sport but an antistress body activity, or activity for pleasure and discovery. I m 5 month after RP and i m discovering new sex. Not so wild as before. I discovered dry orgasm with flacid penis. ‘Peegasm’ with hard. I have side effects with Tadalafil so i m not so constant. But i will continue to play and because i like discovering
My Op was over 15 years ago (diagnosed late 40’s) and I had a nerve sparing radical prostatectomy being catheterized for over 3 weeks, so not like the way they do things nowadays. It took a long time before I even contemplated having a wank to be honest.
My incontinence was bad at first and it took 3 months before I even started to get control of that but it gradually got better but not for a year or so before I even contemplated ditching the pads. Still wear one now if out for a few beers as I leak like crazy, but it has just become part of my life, even though it does still naff me off. I was religiously doing my Kegel exercises too, but at times I thought they were making it worse, but I think it was just my body taking my time to heal. I was a lot fitter in those days too so that made it worse as I could not play sport or go to the gym.
As for erections well as I said, my consultant asked me at 3 months if I was getting one yet and I said not a flicker, so I was prescribed Viagra (no Cialis then). Started at 25mg - nothing, then 50mg - nothing and then the full 100mg - nothing!
I was so down and told my Consultant so at 6 months. His response; keep trying so, like Moses I kept taking the tablets. I was having a flaccid wank by now and the orgasms were and still are so intense, and I got burning pain as I orgasmed too. I was also trying a vacuum pump! It was not really making much of an improvement....so I was losing hope. Then at about a year I woke at about 2 am with a semi and suddenly realised that my body was finally beginning to respond.
So things gradually improved, as for the burning sensation at orgasm my consultant said “do it more often” first time anyone has asked me to wank more! It did disappeared over time.
Cutting the story short, be patient and hopefully things will improve, my erections did return eventually, OK they are not like the ones I had pre-Op and I am prone to leak a bit when hard, but all I am saying is keep the faith.
As for me now; well my PSA never ever stayed as low as after the RP and I had to have salvage radiation treatment 3 years after my Op. Which knocked it down until last Autumn when my PSA reached a level where my consultant felt I should have 6 months ADT.
Four months into that and my PSA has dropped 90% so hoping to have a rest from the hormones so I can enjoy the summer.
Hope this helps and remember we are all different so what happens to one traveller on this crappy journey is not always the same for another.
Thank you Brian, that's so very helpful. I can feel your frustration back then, just like I'm having now. So yes. 5 weeks in, I need to be more patient and keep my hand out my pants!, for now! My catheter was only in for 9 days after the operation, and everything went smoothly. I have my post op consultant appointment and first psa test at the beginning of April. Fingers crossed.
Hi Neil. As Brian said... everyone heals at different rates, so be patient. I was mostly continent pretty fast, completely at 3 months. I started using a pump at 4 weeks post surgery to keep my penis from being "unused" and to replace the 3-5 times nightly erections. This is important for maintaining penile tissue from tightening. Unless you have a urologist or health system that is there to help guide you in you sexual recovery (I did not have that where I am in Canada) start going online and doing your own research. Check out Victoria Cullen "A touchy Subject" or Sexologist Melissa Hadley Barrett on YouTube. They have great advice and direction to "rehab" you and your penis. And you must keep up with your Kegels to strengthen your ability to improve and maintain continence.
Thanks so much for the up date on your recovery Glad you're doing well. It's very much appreciated. It's only 5 weeks since my robotic-surgery so maybe I'm being impatient. It's just that when I get mentally, sexually aroused, it's just soooo frustrating that I can't get hard and simply knock one out to relieve the tension.
I'm around 80% continent now, just dribbling in my pad during the day. Doing regular Kegal exercises every day and taking my 5mg of cialis at night. Hospital gave me a medical quality vacuum pump, and I've only used it a couple of times yet to be honest. Not over keen on the sensation.
I live in England so maybe hospitals tell us different things depending on where we live?
Totally identify with your frustration Neil, I am in the UK too on the south coast between Brighton & Worthing. Assume you are in Wakefield? Good to see the NHS has improved its response to your post surgery rehab and supplying the very things I asked for and never got. I had to buy my vacuum pump and as said did not get any meds until after 3 months.
I do get Cialis now and too have 5mg plus a small supply of 25mg Viagra for that extra push should I want it.
Not that keen on the pump either Neil, used it for a while but did not really get on that well with it to be honest. Still in the drawer and occasionally it sees the light of day. Some guy said I should be using it in the bath, but not tried that!!
I did get an NHS appointment 3 months after my OP with the hospital Erectile Dysfunction clinic. Was pissed off when I saw an elderly female nurse who had no real idea of what a man of my age was feeling with a limp dick. Totally useless!
Think things have changed for the better nowadays. As I have discussed those things with my current Urology Team and they are a lot more switched on now. Thank God!
All the very best Neil, I am sure it will get better.
Thank you. Yes, I'm in Wakefield, West Yorkshire. Its been good to hear our similar experiences and frustrations. It's been helpful. I too saw a very young female nurse at the penile recovery clinic last week. A waste of time, she'd not got a clue! lol. Hey Ho. I'm on it!!!!
Like the other guys said, be patient. After my RP, I would wank for hours trying to reach an orgasm with a limp dick. I would fall asleep with sheer exhaustion and a sore arm and dick but with no satisfaction most times. This went on for a year after my operation. Cialis and Viagra had absolutely no effect whatsoever. I used a vacuum pump which helped a little. When I eventually did have a rare orgasm, it was different but satisfying, though I learned quickly to have a towel close by as I squirted urine all over the place when I came.
After about a year I woke up with a semi. I think I was so surprised and relieved that I nearly cried.
Now four years later I have a wank that most times ends in orgasm. Still flaccid but as I get more excited and into it, my dick gets semi hard and usually when I orgasm it is quite hard. Still splashing a mix of urine and what looks like precum bit (pro tip) use a towel. I’ve actually learned to enjoy the leaking.
Give yourself time. Keep trying. You will get there.
Hello DenisThanks so much for your message, if does mean a lot to me.
To hear how long it's taken you to get to the point of a regular wank and decent orgasm, it gives me confidence.
Stupidly, 6 weeks in after my RRP I've been trying for hours to wank with a totally limp dick, constantly leaking urine throughout. It amazes me where the hell it all comes from. The towel I put underneath me as I wanked was soaked at the end of each my non productive session. Like you, I take 5mg of Cialis every night, but it has no effect at all. I have tried my pump a few times to help stop penis shrinkage, but I hate the damn thing. Feels so false. I was chatting with a guy who had his prostectamy 6 years ago and he says every time he wanks, he squirts pee's when he cums. Says its far better than just a dry orgasm!
I have to agree with the chap you mentioned. When I orgasm with pee it is much more satisfying than a dry orgasm. The advice I got after my RP to empty my bladder before sex or a wank I now totally ignore and I just let the pee fly!
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