If You Are A Practicing Bottom, please help me

[Baldylocks]

my friend has shown me the patience of Job. we have been fingering now for several months to prepare me for the big event. we recently started an attempt at anal entry but I had a terrible panic and freaked out. I truly want to do this with him but the freak out scared him perhaps even more than me. we’ve been working together at this for months. we’ve enjoyed our talks about it so much that the excitement could be measured by yards and volume. After all the finger plying I feel open and ready for this and we’ve loaded my hole with lube and I’ve spit and slobbered all over his cock but as soon as he started his head in I freaked. please guys tell me how soon you were able to return to receiving after your external radiation treatments and was there any permanent damage from it?

[spencoid2]

being tense is the last thing you want to be. you need to relax. all the lube int he world will not help if you are tense. are you concerned because you had radiation or surgery? how long ago. an average or even quite large penis is not going to do more damage than taking a big shit if your partner is gentle. use your favorite relaxing agent if you need it.

[Baldylocks in reply to spencoid2]

That visual helped a lot although conquers the same stress. I’ve always stayed regular to avoid just that sort of thing. I thought I was mind ready as did he. I can’t tell you how gentle he has been and is and extremely patient. I’m thankful but this is something I very much want to do especially for him. With our frequent finger play Over the past few months I thought I was beyond ready and he’d glide right in. From the very start it felt like a baseball bat was being pushed up in me and I panicked. I jumped from bed, left the room and lost my mind. I scared him but we’ve settled down and talked about it. Guys here have helped me recover a good frame of mind and he is again leaving it to me when we can try again. For now it’s too fresh of a scare. I’ll continue to enjoy his foreskin and nectar which is his second favorite play but my first. Thank you for the information and support.

[Travelinman]

No problems here, but gentle is the key! Why not start out with a dildo for preparation? Most important ... relax or it's not going to work.

[Baldylocks in reply to Travelinman]

I guess we’re both just so old fashioned and hadn’t considered it. I’ll bring it in our next talk, thanks.

[EdinBmore]

I don't mean to rain on your parade but...I had IMRT, bracyboost and ADT plus I participated from U of MN regarding gay men and prostate cancer. The study provided sildenafil, dildos, cock rings, penis pump and tons of videos and information. The goal was to try to understand the differences between gay and straight men's reaction to PCa and how to return gay men to sexual functioning. It lasted 2 yrs.

The ADT killed any interest in sex of any kind. But, once its effects diminished, I thought I was ready to return to my bottom world. Nah. Bottom (no pun intended) line: it took 18 mos (or more) to really get back into position, as it were. I used dildos and the pump to assist in my recovery. The first time with "the real thing" was not pleasurable at all (in part, because my prostate had been snipped to death from biopsies, and nuked into oblivion - not much left of it). Butt, in time - a lot of time - it's been 5 yrs since my treatment - I recovered. Note: Apparently, the radiation "missed" its target and damaged rectal wall a bit. So, I must be ultra careful prepping for getting laid. The treatment also changed my bowel movement habits...so again, caution. But, it's better now and I can btm and enjoy the experience. Give yourself time and practice with toys; it helped.

Good luck to you,

EdinBaltimore

[Baldylocks in reply to EdinBmore]

right now in this moment you have given me so much peace of mind. thank you so much for this very helpful information. this is exactly why “HealthUnlocked” is what we all need and benefit from. don’t take lightly when I call you my “Hero”, anyone who knows me knows I’ve only said it once before with my dad.

[RuggerJock]

toys, dude, toys. Start slow and maybe by yourself. Dildo in a long, hot bath is great. Plus-are you feeling sexy? Is your partner? New sexy underwear, cock rings and different lubes and porn might help

[Baldylocks in reply to RuggerJock]

thanks Jock, we’re taking in all the suggestions you guys are throwing our way. you’ve mentioned something that I’ll respond to by speaking for myself and take liberty to answer for my friend. I’ll be sure and ask him about this later but I believe my answer here is for both of us. You asked if we feel sexy? I still get some (all males, thus far) that don’t buy into either of us being all hetero until we weren’t. they say no two straight guys would ever be comfortable having sex with one another, and yet I’m here to say we have proved that wrong. Until you’ve had life throw giant boulders at you, you will just never know how life can change. anyway we first love each other as any two male friends love one another then because our families (yes we both have children and grandchildren) have shared so much over forty years and grown together as family we have love as family (never a sexual attraction by either) until my world changed and my lady jumped ship. I was about to check out by my own device because I caught myself seeing men in a way I didn’t think I liked, it was disturbing to me and depressing and unexplainable. It’s not a gay issue because all my life I’ve believed every male and female were and are entitled to their own choices so long as both are in agreement. I simply could not make sense of it and it was subtle, not all at once. It took lot’s of support from many here to give me back moments of sanity. I had no one in my everyday life to turn or so I thought. I shared personal chats I’d had with some guys here with him and too my surprise, shock actually he embraced me with full heart and from that moment to now shown me that all the years of our lives and sharing of family is real. We had from time to time watched hetero porn together but not once had either of our cocks come out. It was not until he showed me some old vintage bisexual mixed race porn which was eye opening for me that he pulled his out and stroked it in my presence. I tried not to look but the allure was too great and exciting. Also the featured porn featuring a White hetero couple with such a macho Black man performing as sandwich filling for them both was overwhelming for me so I left. We later had several real talks together and I became comfortable with my change. I tend to do this thing of going on too long to say a lot about a little, I apologize. I’m trying to check myself on this. I say all this to say; we are two old farts (60s and 70s) I’m not sure what can be between us on a superficial level of attraction or sexy at least for him. Until that night of risqué porn I hadn’t realized how very good looking he is even at 75. I don’t find myself attractive but women always have and I still get flirts from some young mostly closer to my age. His having a cock that’s over 8” and gets so surprisingly hard is a mixed bag but makes for all the sexiness needed for play time. It is our pleasure tool but also the obstacle I must conquer. He is a ruggedly but soft handsome white man that should hold no appeal to me yet has replaced every sexual interest of my desire. We just came off a beautiful weekend at the coast with only the two of us. He does this for love of friendship and trust of cleanliness and for lack of ever replacing his late wife, the love of his life. I do this with him because he loved me enough to save me from ending my life. Our story is becoming so wonderful but I will leave it here.

We’ve been discussing the toys you and others have mentioned but no plans for most just yet. Thanks