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Prostate Cancer And Gay Men

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Dating post prostate surgery

Skip66 profile image

Had my radical prostatectomy August 10th of this year. This weekend met someone and went out on a date Sunday night. It was good I was open and honest with my medical issues. My question to those that are single, how long after your surgery did you wait before getting back in the dating game?

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It was years for me--but I had stuff left over from breaking up with my partner a while before the surgery, and other medical problems. Finally some counseling helped me get back in. It's great you are already there (you're also younger than I was, which I hope helps). Best of luck--and, I'm only saying what follows because you're asking "how long"-- if you jump right back in and then think you're not ready and are pushing it, back off for a while. That doesn't mean you SHOULD do that, but if you need to, do so.

Skip66 profile image
Skip66 in reply to jimreilly

Thanks Jim, yea I was really nervous meeting for dinner but it felt good.....Come to find out he's a cancer survivor as well, he had Testicular cancer....I just take a day by day..

4 months for dating...6 months for sex.

Skip66 profile image
Skip66 in reply to JPnSD

Thanks JP I think it will be a bit before any sex.....

Hi Skip 66 I am 62 and had a great sex life before this happened. I am 6 months post op, no incontinence at this stage so very lucky. I am using cialis and a pump with some success. I am anxious about new encounters so get where you are coming from. I would love some help with this too. My erections are improving and I find using a cock ring helps to maintain it. I am giving myself a year before I try the next option.

Skip66 profile image
Skip66 in reply to Horseman_

My Dr gave me some info about the pump and i've been taking my 5mg cialis at night every day. He also gave me a script for 100mg viagra but havent tried that yet....you are lucky to have no incontinence....Mine is getting better i've been doing my kegals while sitting working at home....I've started going back into the office this week, so I feel my life is starting to get back to a new normal.....

The kegals are essential and keep going I am dry now because of them. I started on 5mg Cialis but had it increased to 10mg .I was also given 100mg Viagra but it made no difference. 25mg Cialis worked much better. I am still trying to find the best technique for the pump

I’m a year since diagnosis, and I’ve had surgery and radiation, which then, due to a PSA still over 2, had to be followed with 6 months of ADT. All combined, I’m still a zero as far as sexual response is concerned.

I recently tried one date just to see how it would feel—since the pandemic shutdown had also paused my social life, even before my diagnosis. I guess my testosterone hasn’t recovered, because I couldn’t muster any romantic, let alone sexual, interest in my date. So I think I’ll give it a while longer. But I have no idea how to bring up a persistent cancer diagnosis as well as the accompanying sexual dysfunction. Can’t imagine anyone signing up for this ride (no irony intended).

A few weeks prior to diagnosis and several months prior to surgery I met two good guys during a day trip to NYC. I started long distance dating one of them right in the middle of my preparations for surgery. After surgery it became clear we were better as friends almost simultaneously the second guy broke up with someone he was seeing. Long story short the second guy and I will be celebrating our 4 year dating anniversary in November and our 5 year anniversary of meeting in December. December will also mark 5 year since diagnosis and March 2022 will be 5 years since my surgery.

I was also fortunate with my surgery as my PSA remains low, my urinary function quickly returned to normal following surgery and I actually had my first erection while still using the catheter.

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