Hey gents....the intro: Hey guys! New... - Prostate Cancer A...

Prostate Cancer And Gay Men
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Hey gents....the intro

Zoso59
Zoso59

Hey guys! New to this and have been looking to connect with other guys going thru this shit as well. Especially other gay dudes as I feel that has been the other journey thru this is finding and dealing with intimacy and like minded stuff. Looking forward to hearing your experiences and journeys. Thanks for having this place.

33 Replies
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Darryl
DarrylAdministrator

Welcome to our Malecare group

Zoso59
Zoso59
in reply to Darryl

Thank you very much.

Hello Zoso59,

Welcome to the community. You are not alone. I joined this group a few years ago (Years after my 2011 RP) ... Still, the group has connected me with other gay men on this journey. The exchange among the men has answered questions about various issues others have experience as well as options and outcomes. I hope you find your participation helpful in one way or another.

Zoso59
Zoso59
in reply to willp4real

Thanks a lot! I appreciate that and looking forward to sharing.

Our gay PC support group meets twice a month - now on Zoom, if you're interested.

Rich_Rad
Rich_Rad
in reply to Tall_Allen

Is this the same group as the “Us Too” groups? Can you direct us to the zoom hosts/id’s?

Hi Tall_Allen, I would love information on how to access that group. During Covid 19 I've been going to Dallas Lambda AA. Would love to visit gay PC group. All USTOO in DFW are canceled until further notice. Arlis

I'll PM you with the info

DT2311
DT2311
in reply to Tall_Allen

I'd be interested in joining the group, Allen. Thanks, Dave

Tall_Allen
Tall_Allen
in reply to DT2311

It meets the first and third Tuesday of each month from 7-9PM PST. For HIPPA and security, you have to sign up - I'll PM you the email.

I am interested in joining. Please send me a link. Thanks!

PSV60
PSV60
in reply to Tall_Allen

Hi. I would love to get info on this group as well. Thank you, Paul

That sounds great! Fun and informative! Lots of gay men talking at the same time! 😳😉

Hi Zoso. Welcome. Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough time. I’m finding in this time of isolation, that craving for company is getting stronger all the time. Keep well. Keep safe.

Zoso59
Zoso59
in reply to Leeaussie5

Thank you much and yes! The timing of finding this site is perfect. As you so aptly put it that craving for some affection gnaws away, especially knowing each time the possibility of a possibility arises we have to eventually get around to addressing our issues. Sucks even having to go into it then waiting for the inevitable loss of interest. I want to say that there is way more to me that one may find interesting besides that I have a dick. But in all honesty a couple years ago when I was one of them I sadly would have prob done the same. Ahh well. At least now I know for certain I can bitch about it to guys that are for the most part right there with me. Thanks to ALL who have sent nice welcome messages. Appreciate you all.

Hello Zoso, welcome to the group! This journey though unique to every man’s own situation, is nonetheless made better by being in a community. Please take care and may you be well.

Welcome! It's great you are reaching out. Between dealing with p.c. and Covid-19 it can be overwhelming. There are some great and knowledgeable guys in this group.

Welcome. I add my words to those of others who have welcomed you already. Our needs as gay men are in some ways universal and in some ways unique.

Welcome! You’ll find this to be a friendly & informative forum.

Hello from San Francisco and welcome to the site. My RP was on Nov’19 and it took me two months before I started feeling better and now I’m totally ok. Incontinence is gone and no longer wearing the pads, but during the time I had them, I could not deal with it. Dry ejaculation is the new normal for me, but I can have more than one orgasm. (Lucky me). Reading this site gave me hope and I felt that I was not alone. It is a journey, a new one that gets easier with time. I like the idea of a Zoom meeting with other folks, but I don’t have details. I’d love to attend one session if times allows it. What I found encouraging in this site is that everyone here is either bi or gay, which it is not something that Dr. Or other supports group are capable of understanding. Be safe and stay positive

Zoso59
Zoso59
in reply to Rustykia

Thanks for dropping a line Rusty. I think this place will help immensely. No tiptoeing around issues and questions that arise constantly but family and friends can only try to listen and advise but not in the way I need from you guys. The ones in the trenches with me. Cheers bud.

Welcome and good luck with your process. Lots of experience here. And Tall Allen is an excellent source for guidance/information as he's doing/done extensive research and writing that covers just about every angle of this issue. Take time to ask questions and make informed decisions! (By way of background, I was about to have surgery, then found the L.A. gay prostate cancer support group and decided SBRT was best for me.) --Nick

A wonderful choice vs RP. The erectile functioning outcomes are like night and day --- SBRT is much better. Good luck on your continuing journey.

Glad you found us Zoso!

Welcome to the group. I just want to share with you that I had the artificial urinary sphincter installed 2 years ago. For me, it gave me my life back after wearing depends for 18 month. I had pretty much no bladder control. At first it was strange to see this "extra" mini ball in my scrotum but now I am quite used to it. I still need to wear a light pad for dribbles but that is nothing compared to a diaper. My urologist said that can improve if I drop some weight which I am working on now.

Zoso59
Zoso59
in reply to Homegarden

Greetings bud! Thank you for the welcome and the note. I have not seen anyone else mention the AUS implant and am facing that myself so I thank you again for that disclosure. Like yourself, we are in the same leaky boat, no pun intended...well maybe 😉, in that the incontinence has not improved and for myself almost gotten worse since radiation treatments ended in December. Which brings me to the weird little button that will be the new addition to my non functioning boys downstairs. Looks like it is now a few weeks from the surgery. I too am so tired of the hassle, embarrassment and humiliation at wearing a freaking diaper. And a dick clamp for lack of a more technical term. So just how weird is it? How was the surgery? Probably not near as bad as the prostatectomy i would imagine. After that then it is gonna be time to try to get this damn useless noodle of a penis up and running. Sheesh. As if life as a guy guy hasn’t been a rough enough journey esp in the era we grew up in and now dealing with all this can be incredibly daunting. Looking forward to hearing more about your experience with the “extra testy”. Cheers, Rick.

Homegarden
Homegarden
in reply to Zoso59

Here's a bit about me journey. I tried that clamp before my surgery and that thing was torture for sure. I have had the AUS for 2 years now...my husband calls me 3 balls now! It's just like having a third mini ball in my scrotum. The surgery was day surgery and was more intense than I expected. I was quite sore after and had to heal for 6 weeks before it was activated. When that happened, another scope was done(will never get used to having something pushed up my dick). My urologist activated the AUS while the scope was there and I could see my urethra closing up...cool! It was so nice to be free of wearing a diaper. During one of my follow ups I asked about sex and he said that it would be really difficult to damage it so sex is no issue. Would like to get the urge for sex back but that hasn't happened. I can masturbate no problem without an erection of course and have intense organisms. I have gotten quite used to it now and it is life changing for sure. I was told it will last on average 10 years and when it wears out, I will just get a new one installed. Now if I could just get it up...that would be great...LOL!

Also, my urologist suggested I get a medic alert bracelet. There was an incident here where a man went to the ER and he had the device, he was conscious and told the not to put in a catheter they didn't listen and tore his urethra and everything had to be removed and his was back wearing a diaper...just a word of caution. Hope this helps you and if you have more questions let me know. Enjoy your weekend!

Zoso59
Zoso59
in reply to Homegarden

Thanks so much for that info. I prob will have more questions down the line. Surgery is June 8th. Yeah the things we take for granted eh? Boners were constant whether wanted or not, back when we were lads and what we wouldn’t give for one now. Then they were on call 24/7, shit i’ll take 1 every 3 months at this point. 😂.

Take care!

Hi Zoso, welcome to our exclusive club. Having PC and being gay we are in the position that our UROs assume we are straight unless one is vocal about all that and don't know much about our lifestyle with knowledge of what they are about to do to our being and mental state. This is definitely a journey. My RALP was October 15 of 2019, and ALL of my prostate was taken, even both nerves so there is no way I would ever have an erection. At one month after my surgery my URO took me straight to Tri-Mix which has to be injected into penis to have sex. When you will never have an erection it's nice to have one again that lasts for two hours. However, his plan all along has been to install a device in my body AMS 700 LGX penile implant that was originally supposed to be in June but Covid 19 pushed it back to August.

Good luck on this emotional journey. Use these guys at this site they know much more than some of our UROs seem to know because many times my Dr didn't have and answer to my question but I got what I needed to know here. Welcome. Arlis

Hi Zoso5,

I am from Denver and going through Year 2 of Lupron shots and did 45 radiation treatment last spring. I have been hosting Pridefest and Christmas Tree decoration parties with a gay nudist group. However with the shrinkage - a new technical term I learned, it is embarrassing to be seen. I did not now about the dry climax, the growth of man-boobs or the tendency to gain weight. Welcome to the group.

A later welcome than some, but a welcome to you Zoso59 none the less! I haven't participated as much as many here, but do check in occasionally. Everyone has different experiences dealing with PCa and the emotional/sexual roller coaster, but I think you'll find that there's a lot of good info and support to be attained from any avenue of communication you're comfortable with. Good luck.

Welcome Zoso

It’s a scary journey but made much easier with support, and guidance of the good buddies here.

Best wishes.

stay strong.

Stay connected.

😷🙏

Hi, happy to chat anytime you want to. Either through here, or on Whatsapp. Let me know.

Don

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