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Prostate Cancer And Gay Men

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Anal sex after prostate removal

DanWinters profile image

Does anyone have any thoughts on anal sex after prostatectomy. Do you get any pleasure from it or is it strictly for the Insertive partner. You can email me directly if you want

39 Replies

Had a solo session 10 weeks after my prostatectomy. It felt awesome. Not really any different without a prostate.

Thanks so much. Want to start exploring this.


Surprisingly to me too, anal sex was even more pleasurable than before.

I think I gave a 3 months pause after surgery though.

DanWinters profile image
DanWinters in reply to Paulo1968

Thanks so much man. will have to explore more

I started with anal toys 6 weeks after the operation. No problems. Then gentle but deep insertive sex with my partner, which was very pleasurable but different from before. After 12 weeks I was back to full hole-opening mode, but with a new preference for less width. Lots of pleasurable anal sex to be had after the operation!

DanWinters profile image
DanWinters in reply to TerryUK

Thanks so much

It's different, but if you don't "get anal" about what might be lost and open your mind to finding new pleasures it will be fine. As you see from other answers there is no assurance of what your experience will be, we are all quite individual in our response.

Thanks so much

I enjoy anal sex significantly more after my prostatecomy than before. It was uncomfortable at best and never lived up to my fantasies. I now find it incredidibly pleasurable.

It may be different now for you, but it can also be enjoyable -- which is my wish for you.

I am hoping when my erection returns. i can add this to my practice. Thanks for the input.

I had surgery in June of 2013. I waited atleast six months before I tried it again. Initially had some concern of internal damage being done. To be honest, it feels different and intense at the same time. Always thought the reason one got pleasure during anal was due to the present of a prostate.

Exactly like me, but I found out it wasn't because of the prostata and it is even now better and I can allow longer penetration without any discomfort in the process. :-)

DanWinters profile image
DanWinters in reply to Paulo1968


Thanks Paulo, you're giving me hope

Had radical prostatectomy almost two months ago and didn't know if you ever get to do anal again. Took the whole prostate to get cancer so I only get erections with Tri-Mix. Prosthetic will come after I have 6 months of clean PSAs. The first is a month away. I will have to wait for awhile to try anal again. Thanks for your post. Arlis

Thanks for all of these comments. I have not had any sex, including anal for more than a year. Maybe it’s Time to try again.

DanWinters profile image
DanWinters in reply to


Guy_Johnson profile image
Guy_Johnson in reply to

It's time to get back on the (Ahem) horse.

TerryUK profile image
TerryUK in reply to

Just do it!


A lot of woman enjoy anal sex and they don't have prostates.


Hi Dan,

I'm really looking forward to trying it post RP4 (weeks now). Even though I can't expect any more mind shattering p-orgasms, I still love the feeling of being filled by a man, and can probably 'rub one out'. I'm just not sure how long to wait. I have a symptom that tells my I might not enjoy it just yet. I feel a tiny bit sore when my bowel is full. Also there is the incontinence, which may be a turn off to my BF.

My incontinence lasted nearly 2 months almost 3 Then over a week period rapidly Improved. Still no full erection. will be one year the 20 th of this month. I get a semi. Of course am using the pump injections give a hard but doesnt feel the same and with every stroke urine flies out LOL. I just have to laugh about it. I have my one year follow up for blood work soon and will discuss the pump prosthetic. But am willing to think about the bottom thing. Just not sure about the Prep work to get there.


I want to tell everyone that they have metal surgical clips In them if the prostate was removed You just don’t

Know yet

All my best

Thank you Dan. I have been trying dinto find about continuing anal sex after radical prostatectomy. Surgeon took everything including both nerves. I will never have a natural erection again. Got all the cancer and the cancer did not get to the lymph nodes. That's a good thing. For erection I have to use Tri-Mix. Surgeon will install three piece implants but must have 6 month clean PSA's. Miss anal though didn't know you could do this after surgery. Thanks again. Arlis. gets me quicker.

See my reply to Tommy459. In my experience, you can get back to full anal, rectal and colonic sex big time. But take it slowly...

Thanks for the encouragement. I will wait for awhile before I give it my first try after RP. I'm just delighted to have erections again and orgasms again even though there is a little climacturia but am learning how to deal with that and things to do to help. Even surrendered to a little fun with water sports with a pig bottom friend the other day. Had not done that for years. Was fun, not sure l want to do that all the time but was different and fun. I'll start slowly on the anal but in a few more weeks. Thanks for your help in this new journey for me. There is hope to be able to return to anal in the future. Arlis

Seem my replies earlier. Don’t hold back. Go for gentle massage of the anus and butt cheeks. Stroke the cleft, feel the texture of your skin like silk, open up your butt hole slowly but determinedly. Ask your partner to do it or do it to him or yourself.

Good luck 😉

Take heart, we are with you...


I'll do these things when I feel ready. Anus is still a little sensitive for much more than a finger. Like you said start slowly. But there's hope. The incontience is much better and haven't had any issues in several weeks. Thanks for your comments. Arlis

I had RP in June 2017. PSA has been under the measurable ever since. My urologist said that he is almost sure that I am cured, but I must continue with the PSA checks every 6 months until 5 years post surgery. I started being bottom 6 months after the surgery. Nowadays I can take it quite a long time. Yesterday I got an orgasm from getting fucked. It felt really great. I thought it would not be possible without a prostate.

I know this post is several years old just wondering the same thing. Will there be pleasure

I'm 3 months post-surgery -- and, I remain hopeful that my loss as a top will be replaced with an enhanced interest as a bottom (assuming I cannot achieve an erection that will be sufficient). But, I'm dedicating myself to being very versatile!

Following my RP surgery in Nov 2019, a new reality hit. The top I once was, no longer existed. My erections now are far and between with help of Cialis, but regardless, I’m horny as hell and discovered that becoming a bottom has been more enjoyable than before. I’ve topped once post surgery, but bottom is my new game and I love it. Good luck to you

Hi everyone I am 55

I had a RP six weeks ago I recovered good erections 3 weeks after surgery only with Cialis

No problem with urinary leakage after removal

I must admit when I was reading posts before the DDay that I am so lucky

I always had dry orgasms which are as intense as before and yesterday I had a first bottom experience with my partner and our pleasure was the same as before

And above all no problem after sex with no pains or whatever

Probably we took time to be sure not to be hurted but after all I felt the same as before

I wanted to please him more than I wanted to be pleased but honestly I did not feel any difference

Hey I am glad I found this forum....I recently as of 3 weeks ago had the radical prostatectomy. I am dealing with the incontinence but looking forward to getting back into the game and enjoying sex again....I am a bottom and it's good to hear alot of positive comments about life as a bottom after prostate removal....My question is did any of you have any issues with leakage when bottoming and if so what did you do about it?

Orcanoggin profile image
Orcanoggin in reply to Skip66

Hi, also glad for this forum! At the risk of offending some of you (apologies), I’ve always enjoyed anal play with big toys (long, thick) that go wide and deep (I deep clean and am savvy about risks of deep play so am not stupid). Have any of you who had similar likes before RP ventured into similar territory since, and if so what’s your experience been like? Thanks for any replies.

jht3 profile image
jht3 in reply to Orcanoggin

Well, I am not gay and my wife and me turned to ass/anal play a few weeks after my prostate was removed (3/26/2020). It is amazing how she has taken over most of our emotional and sexual wants and desires after recovery . She says our anal fetishes are not kinky, they are now the new normal. I started anal training once she wanted to be the TOP and like you, I am over 2.5 inches wide with no pain. The biggest difference since I cannot get a natural erection since EVERTHING was removed (psa=36) is I Squirt everytime I'm stimulated either by my wife or when I'm in the shower with my anal toy(s). The best part is instead of getting turned off by this, we added WATERSPORTS to our intimacy and our sex life at our retirement age is three to five times a week . Some quickies only last a couple of minutes but sometimes we are enjoying each other non stop for an hour. There is no way I could imagine when I got home from the hospital and TRIED to pleasure myself that I would be enjoying so many non intercourse pleasures with or without (with her permission) my wife directly being part of it. I married the right women!

I am so pleased to learn from the many responses to you question that anal sex is not only possible but as pleasurable - or more- than before. I had a prostatetomy exactly one year ago, and since then, no problems with incontinence, thanks to Pelvic Floor Exercises which I had been doing regularly for years, as Kegel Exercises for inproved ejaculation, and it had worked. ED - some problems remain; can't get a full erection yet, but I've achieved a few orgasms, nevertheless. However, since I am fully versatile (top + bottom), I 've refrained from taking it solo, or with my husband , thinking it would have no effect and may even be harmful without a prostate. So now, thanks to you (35) guys and responses, I shall give it a go, solo, and gently, and see if I can achieve that special orgasm I have been missing for over a year. BTW, the medical team here in London never mentioned this problem, and have been more concerned with ED and incontinence, even though they were fully aware I have been in a smae-sex relationship for close on 50 years [sic]. Many thanks to you all.

I want to share my story again. I had my prostatectomy in March of 2020. i'd like to hear any advice from anyone who reads this message. I hope to find improvements if any suggestions help. I hope to get closer to what I once had preoperative. I wrote this note in to response to the man who wrote about Prostatectomy affects on gay men and want to share with everyone possible.

Thanks to all that respond and share their ideas.

I fully understand your points about prostatectomy and being a gay man. I chose having a prostatectomy the moment I was told that my PSA count had risen and that I truly had cancer. In hindsight, I partially wish I had stepped back and researched all the consequences of have the prostate removed for cancer treatment, especially any information that I possibly could have found on the affect on gay men. Yet, my father discovered he had prostate cancer when he was 56, which his diagnosis was Stage 4 at that time. He was one of the first men to have radioactive seeds inserted into the prostate in ordered to "kill" the cancer, which unbeknownst to me he was told the cancer could return in ten years. nearly ten years to the day of his surgery, the cancer returned and he died of Prostate cancer at the age of 71. Also, it was thought that my father's father who died at 71 in 1952, probably had Prostate Cancer, as well. In addition, my father had a brother die of the same caner at the age of 65 just before he himself was diagnosed with cancer. His other two brothers had bladder and kidney cancer respectively in their 80"s. Thus, after having both prostate exams and PSA test for years, the moment I was told I had cancer, I chose removal immediately, because I didn't want a "ticking time bomb" within my body.

I had heard many years earlier that my father chose not to have a prostatectomy in order to avoid ED, but that after the seed implants he had ED anyway. I had my prostatectomy and felt that things would be different in my case through time, yet I am still experiencing major issues nearly two years after my surgery. I had not experienced an full erection since the night before my surgery. My Penis doesn't even seem to have semi-erections that I used to have daily. at time my Penis even appears smaller, which is a very emotional tug on a gay man.

As a gay man, I will be honest and say that I am a bottom and most always have only bottomed during anal sex. I have been in a relationship for 29 years with the same partner and we have been married for 4 1/2 years. Unfortunately, my husband developed diabetes nearly 13 years ago, and his ED has gotten worse over the years. I have had to use toys or masturbation to satisfy myself most of the time, yet he did love to give me oral sex through the years, as well. I have tried to get him to see a urologist, but even if he went now, it may be too late.

As for me personally, I truly miss being a bottom. Yet, I also feel a loss of libido that hurts me emotionally. I still get excited when viewing any form of porn, but the lack of a full erection only depresses me more. I feel the loss of my manhood due to not having the Penis that I once had and would take anything that would help both my libido and erections return. As for anal sex or anal play, I have technically avoided trying for fear of no true pleasure due to the removal of my prostate. I am considering purchasing a new "toy" that vibrates an thrusts to see if that can work for me. Yet, I still want my old Penis to return, as well.

I have tried "Penal Therapy" through my urologist, which has involved using Cialis daily and an injectable medicine to produce an erection. Yet, I stopped both due to the fact I was not getting the results that I desire. I die not do very many injections over the past year, and I noticed that I really wasn't getting a hard erection all the time, which even the erection wouldn't last long. I also stopped the injections, because I may have a slight case of Peyronie's disease. I have seemed to get a partial erection on my own, but it never gets fully rigid or never seems to last long. I have woken up to harder erections, so the entire issue may be in my mind and the lack of libido, as well.

I have an appointment with my urologist next week and will discuss all of my problems with him at that time. I informed him that I was a gay man last year, but did not go into detail, because I didn't expect him to have a full understanding of any issues that may occur with a gay man. Yet, if I overcome my fear of opening up again as I did when I told him that I was gay, I will discuss my issues more during this visit.

I intend to reach out to gay men that I first chatted with after my surgery to see how they are doing now, in order to get suggestions on what to try. I also, intend to try to convince my husband to seek medical advice if it's not too late, to do so.

Sorry for the long reply, but I just wanted to share my story.


I am going on 5 months post surgery to remove my prostate. Prior to this I was an active bottom, since my surgery I havent had anal sex yet....I have a question for you guys that have had anal sex after your surgery...How do you prevent leakage when the tops cock hits your bladder? I think that's what worries me most about a having anal sex...I've tried playing with a smaller toy to get used to it and i do squirt a bit...Any suggestions? An did you completly empty your bladder any tips for successfully doing that?

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