Prostate Cancer And Gay Men
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Post-op anal play question

Hi, I'm Ken.  I'm a 71-y/o bi-sexual guy with recently diagnosed early stage (TNM stage T1c) prostate cancer.  Two spots were located with a prostatic MRI followed by a targeted biopsy revealing Gleason 6 (3+3) and 7 (3+4) tissue.  While the affected tissue is small and appears to be totally and deeply contained within the prostate, I've opted for surgical removal rather than radiation or hormonal treatment.  My question is directed to other gay/bi- men who have a history of penetrative anal sex play and who have had a radical prostatectomy.  I have enjoyed  anal play (including fisting) for years and would like to know what others with similar histories can share about their post-op experience.  If there is no surgical damage to rectal wall tissues, were you able to resume anal play post-op?

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there's been some talk (on the old site) about how long you have to wait after surgery, and I seem to remember some pretty different answers; pays to be open with your doc about what you're gonna do and when

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the answer to your question depends on : 1) Individual differences to the quality of the surgeon and/or the extent of the disease 2)  Normally if the surgery is done right, there should be no side affects to the anal area.  The majority of men who had prostectomies, can resume intercourse.

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Jimreilly makes an excellent suggestion...that you be totally open to your Doctor.   And Vitruv also is correct in that there should be no harm but you are indeed going to have surgery and your body will need to heal.   Common sense, a good conversation with your doctor and respecting whatever twitches and pains that you might feel will guide you as to when you can resume the pleasures of anal play.

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Thanks for your comments.  As info, I have very open relationships and discussions with my doctors; they know of my sexuality and my experiences.  My urologist is recognized as a top doctor dealing with prostate issues, and my surgeon is also a leader in the region doing many robotic laproscopic prostatectomyies as I'm having done.  I'm very confident that I have some of the best as far as doctors are concerned.

I've had surgeries before; the most extensive was total knee replacement, so I know there's time needed for our bodies to heal.  As we age...well, things can take a little longer than in earlier years.

My question really goes to trying to get a feel for what others experienced.  I know many factors can affect this but I'm curious how others have done.  Thanks for the input, and hope to hear more.

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I had radical prostatectomy 7 years ago. I started having anal sex again only one month after surgery. That was a terrible mistake although nothing happened. However, I have been scared ever since of having any anal Play, fisting or intercourse. I am so grateful that I discovered this sight because I had the same question as yours for years and no one could help me. There was no one to turn too because where I live such subjects are still tabu and there is no way that I can bring up that question to my urologist. So, as some folks have suggested, speaking to your doctor ain't that easy. Anyway, after seven years, my psa is slowly going up again, from undetectable some seven years ago to 0.14 now. Every three month check is a nightmare cause I do not know what to expect. It either remains stable, or goes 0.02 up or down each time. So whatever happens, I cannot just sit around not knowing how much more time I have got left and continue not doing what I like doing most, that is anal sex, toys and fisting. I think I have waited long enough, and whatever happens I have to get on with it. If you have any suggestions on whether I am doing the right or wrong Thing, just let me know.

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ps...there has been no damages to the anal area after the rp....however what worries me the most is that during the rp the urethra was detached to the bladder and then reattached again....i just have this fear that during fisting or dildo play, the re-attachment would break....i have been told from friends this does not make any sense but i cannot fully enjoy the sex when I have this continually on my mind....i just need to be told that it will not happen.....xxxx

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